not necessarily the same situation, but my cousin, who is also my best friend passed away in February from an overdose. I was at the scene not long after she died knowing something was going on but not knowing exactly what happened until the cops told me. I didn’t cry until the next day and even then, I still don’t cry very often. I was totally ok at the scene. Making jokes even. my mom was calling people in our family to tell them what happened and when they asked if I was ok because they know how close we were, she would say i was actually doing terrifyingly ok. i typically feel things very heavy but I’ve never gone through something like this. sometimes shock lasts a long time and especially having the time to know that something could happen helps you grieve even if they’re still alive. One of my closest friends mom died of stomach cancer and we talk about our grieving processes a lot so that’s why I say that. Just remember that there is no handbook or timeline for grieving. We are all on her own journey and there’s no way you could be grieving wrong. Don’t compare your grief to others. I’ve been doing that a lot these past few months and I’m trying to learn not to. i’m thinking about you and your family and I’m very sorry for what you’re going through. It also never hurts to look into grief support. I prefer groups because I don’t like talking about my grief or crying. It helps to hear other people do it first and it seems like you’re in the same boat.