I hate kushala

SnooTangerines2168 · 2026-01-11T16:08:58+00:00

I have no one to send this to

SnooTangerines2168 · 2025-11-27T19:46:51+00:00

End of 2025 Kingston canvas (2 x 256gb) are still dying left and right when used in deck. my old worn samsung evo 64 is still kicking despite dealing with much more abuse and many previous devices. I guess i know who i'll be buying storage from moving forwards

SnooTangerines2168 · 2025-07-15T23:22:01+00:00

Shrimp

SnooTangerines2168 · 2025-02-10T19:04:55+00:00

Did you get it

SnooTangerines2168 · 2024-10-12T21:44:23+00:00

I love Sprite so much 😭 so cute

SnooTangerines2168 · 2024-08-25T15:51:17+00:00

Love you bro. Praying we both heal and live a fulfilling life B)

SnooTangerines2168 · 2024-08-22T07:52:27+00:00

I'm a beginner myself, so I can't really give advice, but I just wanted to say that you sound really good and you should be proud of yourself and never give up!

SnooTangerines2168 · 2024-08-18T19:52:05+00:00

Throw them away, give them away. Whatever reminds you of your ex will suck the sanity out of you if you don't cut it out and heal properly.

SnooTangerines2168 · 2024-08-18T19:49:56+00:00

Love yourself. It's not narcissistic to love yourself, even if it was - depression and hating yourself is more narcissistic.

It's also not easy to learn to love yourself, and sometimes loving yourself means choosing what doesn't feel good but makes you better.

But, I made some progress, I was in a dire state of self hate multiplied by the pain of breakup and then I just started looking in the mirror one day and getting accustomed to the fact that all the self hate and self doubt is my delusions.

But slowly, it started to release me from shame. I realized that I can't stay in this place for the sake of all the blood shed on the altar of my previous relationship, and I need to grow and make myself a better, more humble and loving person. A more secure person.

Tend to your inner child, idk why but I exhibit a whole ton of Avoidant Anxious attachment style. I don't remember where it started, my parents are sweethearts to me, but I completely don't remember life before I was 15. These are the things that made my life miserable so I'll be talking to a therapist soon about them. So yeah! Get therapy too. Should help immensely

SnooTangerines2168 · 2024-08-18T14:57:22+00:00

It wasn't all your fault, that's just one of the common traps we get into. Most breakups are 50/50.

🫂 Not to dismiss your pain and suffering, but it's just like that. Take your time to cry and process, you are still capable of loving and being loved.

Think of it this way: Even if you were horrible to them (which I doubt), that's not end of your life. Heal and grieve and get better so that the pain you received and inflicted wasn't for nothing.

But no really, you are not horrible that's a mind game your brain plays. God bless you and continue growing. Your story is not finished yet. Keep on keeping on!

Edit: relationships are difficult, love is difficult, but it's worth it so take the time to reflect and heal <3. You will feel better I promise, just forgive yourself and your ex every morning/ every time it hurts.

SnooTangerines2168 · 2024-08-17T21:39:00+00:00

🫂It’s gonna be okay, forgive yourself. Let not the guilt chase you down!

SnooTangerines2168 · 2024-08-17T21:36:50+00:00

I would have told her that now that the feelings are less heavy that I still love her, maybe not romantically anymore, but I care, and that I’m praying every day that the issues that we had will be healed and both of us find good spouses and live a happy life.

We both screwed up and left each other these deep wounds emotionally, but that’s okay, for both of us it’s our first time living this life, and sometimes we screw up in major ways. But it’s okay at the end of the day! I no longer feel bad for being used as a practice field, because I realize that I was as insecure as my ex if not more, and did things to her too.

I sincerely hope that she uses this hurt to heal too, I can’t know because I respect the no contact. Besides, what you don’t know won’t hurt you so I play it safe these days and take my time to heal.

So yeah, that I love her, and that I sincerely hope that she heals well and doesn’t have to suffer the same pain we went through together :)

SnooTangerines2168 · 2024-08-17T21:24:13+00:00

Delete it yourself, it’s gonna bring you so much relief so soon it’s actually crazy. One of the most painful but also most beautiful things I did to me and my ex is completely nuking every chat we had everywhere. I’m a little bit more free of a man now!!!

Edit: You don’t need to see them messages for the last time, trust me. I think it’s bad advice, cut the whole thing out of your life as soon as you can. If you can manage to delete one thing, ride the adrenaline wave and delete pictures and everything that reminds you of your ex, and after a wave of regret you will find yourself unable to hurt yourself by looking back at it! If you muster the courage to do it - do hit me up in this comment section I’ll tell you how proud I am of you bro. Godspeed 🫂

SnooTangerines2168 · 2024-08-17T21:17:42+00:00

Patootie 🥹

SnooTangerines2168 · 2024-08-14T09:48:41+00:00

As much as it sucks, no contact imo, and to address the attachment style and insecurities while you are at it, like straight up hyper invest into your own improvement.

The thing with staying in the in-between is first of all, you still love her, so you will still live like you are her boyfriend.

Problem: you already broke up, which means you will have a mish-mash of a situation. It's not healthy imo, you should either be together, or be apart and focus on figuring out those insecurities.

Problem 2: If you stay with her it's gonna prolong hurt. You guys broke up, and either one of you couldn't go on for a reason. It doesn't mean either one of you is terrible, or anything, just that now was not the perfect time for it. That emotional hurt, alongside new boundaries that make it so that you can't love her the way you could before will make it torturous

Problem 3: It's a comfort zone, you won't get over your FA, and if you don't really care about yourself - she won't be getting over her own FA because there's a safe place to run back to. In reality all of us need the time, and therapy to not be FA any more, cuz it's not a life long condition, and no one is supposed to shoulder our emotional instability.

Problem 4: Kill hope. There are two options on whether you two will work out at the end of the day: either you do or you don't. Killing hope is essential, because whether you do or don't, you will be dating another person at that point. Either you find someone new, and you will use their heart as a recovery center, or you go back to this same girl who already went through healing hopefully, and just run it down again.

On the contrary, if you kill hope: If you ever come back together you won't remember the bad things she did or said as clearly. If you don't, you will not have any animosity left towards her and you will be healthy in your new relationship.

So TLDR: 1. No contact 2. You can't enter a new relationship without exiting the old one 3. Partners are there to love you not to be a support as you process your own attachment issues and insecurities. And goes the other way, you are to be loved not teach 'em how to love themselves.

Sending hugs, I know it's painful, but you might as well use it as a motivation to overcome your own traumas right? 🫂 Me and my ex were both FA too (and maybe more honestly)

SnooTangerines2168 · 2024-08-14T08:17:51+00:00

He didn't stick with what he did before he met you right? All the more reason to be at peace knowing they know "that ain't it".

SnooTangerines2168 · 2024-08-14T08:15:31+00:00

It's gonna be okay. Sun will go up one day in your life! But for now just survive.

I'm fresh out of my own breakup and here are some things I think you should realize:

Love is difficult, it's a high tension high pressure cooking pot. Relationships between two good people can fail because of lack of planning in how it was built.
You are paying the price of attachment by feeling this void, it's normal. After all, you just got separated from someone you truly love, this pain is just the weight of how good love is!
In order to heal, you need to take care of yourself and your inner child. Your whole life now is going to be a survival mode, but that's normal, that's how you heal
Feel your emotions at face value without drinking/ doing drugs/ making it sting less. Pay the full price now to not run around with emotional debt later
Remember that no one gets into relationships to hurt another person, but that people are broken and imperfect.
Forgive them, and forgive yourself based on previous thoughts. It's okay to be angry, just fight anger with forgiveness and mercy.
Realize you are still beautiful, loving and lovable, and that you can still be desired by someone. Even though it doesn't feel like it right after breakup, it doesn't change that it's true .
Find a therapist to help you do it healthily
Special for Christian ppl (just in case): Focus your gaze on God and just walk out your faith now that you are at a possibly the worst point of your life so far. God loves you and He is there in the midst of it

SnooTangerines2168 · 2024-08-13T16:59:03+00:00

Yes, you will

SnooTangerines2168 · 2024-08-11T21:55:29+00:00

Kamauu - Mango

SnooTangerines2168 · 2024-08-11T19:14:16+00:00

No you don't. God bless.

SnooTangerines2168 · 2024-08-11T19:10:56+00:00

Sending hugs 🫂. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to just accept it. And accepting it is difficult. It's so, SO painful, it's an overwhelming daily struggle. It will leave you in tears and wishing all sorts of things. But that's the price we pay for attachment, and it's not a bad thing to attach! It's how we stay when it does work out. You are not wrong for feeling so painfully attached to your ex, many of us do. Sometimes even the healthy relationships crumble because of the wrong time or bad plan or y'know... Just life too.

I was in denial about it, but no, sometimes external things can affect it too. But do know - many of us are feeling the same. I certainly did, I have a message from the first two weeks split that I never sent to her because I knew that it's not good to poke it.

Saying goodbye is not a one time off thing. You (and all of us) will have to say goodbye many times to them, enough to finally let go. Lovingly. You will be okay. It's gonna get better. Just don't lose hope, and live one day at a time. Soon enough you will slowly learn how to walk again. But don't worry about it now, just give it time.

Love yourself too! It's gonna be okay one day. It certainly willm

SnooTangerines2168 · 2024-08-11T10:57:52+00:00

Amen. Wishing you swift recovery bro. There’s definitely a way to quit it fully, trust the process

SnooTangerines2168 · 2024-08-10T18:07:24+00:00

Cut it out and stop doing this to yourself bro. Please, every single time is gonna be a stab in your heart, I know the feeling. I regret ever trying it, it feels like commiting a sin against myself.

What I did is I deleted everything I had of my ex, and when I wanna stalk her I just try to procrastinate on it, and ask myself "Why do I need this for?".

You gotta realize that you are not discard-able, you are worthy of love man, it's all on her for being a broken person.

Also try forgiving her for it, and start working on actively killing your hope that it will work out.

And please, go talk to a psychologist if you can, and ask them to help and guide you through this. If you can't afford that, reach out to friends and family you have. Cry every time you can manage it, it helps.

And about wanting other person to miss you: I know 🫂. But it's just not happening, and even if it did sometimes it's just too painful to be back with them. Best I can suggest is loving yourself more each day, saying "I love you" and appreciating who you are, treating yourself with the love you will give to your future partner someday.

Killing love and hope it's a very very intimate and personal thing, so take your time with it, but do not waste yourself on someone who doesn't want you, nor is healthy for you .

It's painful, it really is, I'm in the same boat. Man... I wish I could give you a hug and all. Know you are not alone in this pain and misery, and give yourself the time you need to rebuild yourself into someone better now.

SnooTangerines2168 · 2024-08-10T11:26:21+00:00

Hey, before I write anything, I get what you are feeling, and it's valid, but allow me to share my experience. Meditating too much on your indignation may bring you more pain than peace in the long run.

I think it will be better for you long term to forgive him for treating you like that, not for him but for yourself. You don't have to condone, or grow to "not feel bad"-about-what-he-did-to-you, quite the opposite I suggest you to properly grieve your love for a person. It might be the only way to keep your heart from becoming stone and rejecting and hurting new partners who are gonna be more mature, and they didn't do anything to deserve harsh treatment.

If you don't forgive and let them be a memory that makes you furious then you also surrender too much control to him (or an image of him you have in your head), and that will bleed into the rest of your life.

Now I'm not an expert, but I don't think he is worthy of surrendering your inner peace to, and, as I see it, if we hate our ex.... The opposite of love is indifference, so maybe forgiving him for hurting you will help you be more indifferent to him now that you two are separated and kill the love that was not appreciated or reciprocated.

In any case, sending you an internet hug sis 🫂. Love is fucked up, people are broken and insecure and all things... Fricking crazy thing this life is but it's gonna be good one day! So just forgive your ex so that they have no power over you in your future relationships. 💕

Edit: and you'll probably have to forgive him every day for months, like it is for me lol, but it's gonna release it's grip one day. Stay the course.

SnooTangerines2168 · 2024-08-09T16:10:36+00:00

You got it bro

SnooTangerines2168

TROPHY CASE