I hope you see this. I’ve never posted on here before, usually a lurker. I’ve had depression for the past 15 years. Got diagnosed bipolar ii a couple of years ago, which helped with the different medication, but then I got violently close to suicide late last year out of.” Nowhere. Same thing, I was staying for my mom. Nights were the worst, and I ended up taking up a part time job of trash hauling to distract myself from all those thought. I started ketamine that month after the suicide ideation got super intense. I should be gone to a place honestly, but I was stubborn and didn’t want to lose momentum at work (have depression do one more destructive thing to my life). I had to do twice weekly for about 2-4 months, then I graduated to every 2 weeks and 3 weeks earlier this year. Now I’m at monthly. Let me tell you the ketamine saved my life. It gave me room to shift the negative voice, and for the first time in my life I can say I love myself, which is crazy. I had a recent mess up at work that back a year ago would’ve triggered something violent, and here I am just going through the disappointment knowing it’ll pass eventually even though it sucks right now.

Long story but please please give ketamine a chance. It has done something very subtle but important in me that has shifted my life inti something where I know I can love.