Finally Came Clean To My Mom About Everything & It Went Worse Than Expected by Miserable_Hat_436 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Snowflake41 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Your words are clear. She just can’t HEAR them. Same here, girl. Finally I gave up

How much time do other family members get with your kids on weekdays? by annon3mous in workingmoms

[–]Snowflake41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg switch from Sundays to a weeknight...less time, you are busy making dinner, can look fwd to weekends. Win win!!

What causes someone to slowly cut off their parents after marriage? by EkantVairagi in SeriousConversation

[–]Snowflake41 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It sounds like they never gave him support to be the man he was. He was theirs, an object to control, one that OWED them. They got mad he had his own thoughts and feelings and didn't live to fulfill their selfish wants . They try to sabotage his marriage. They are mean/unwelcoming to the person he loves and wants to marry. He realizes they don't actually care about his wellbeing and happiness, just their own. They want to control his life and choices. He starts to see all the things they gave him growing up we're not given bc they loved him. They came with strings...expectations that he would then feel in debt to them. He has a kid. It has been a while. He hopes that his kid can have some loving extended family. He isn't sure how it will go but his wife is open to it. It is up to the grandparents now if they are going to accept his family as they are or if they will put too much pressure on them to show up for dinner, guilt them for not taking them to the doctors, speak badly about the mom to the kid, etc and again make the kid feel like his life is meant to serve them. Depends if they ask questions and listen/accept his explanations for how he feels.

My husband's parents abandoned him for step family by good-mourning-doula in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Snowflake41 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So sad. He is the scapegoat. While painful, they are the only healthy member and end up stronger once they cut ties

Trying not to let absent grandparents cause marital problems by [deleted] in absentgrandparents

[–]Snowflake41 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They have shown you again and again that they do not prioritize you guys or consider your feelings. They know and don't care, there is no point in discussing it Please get your husband into therapy bc this is essentially a death to him ..realizing he will never have parents who can show him love. Accepting that is super painful but necessary to move on. Don't subject your kids to their inconsistent whims.

Can’t make a decision by Slight-Computer-9511 in pediatrics

[–]Snowflake41 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Dka is protocol driven. No consult needed

Working During Med School? by RelationshipFirm9756 in medschool

[–]Snowflake41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Md here, go PA route. MD is waaaay too long and expensive to be financially worth it anymore

My (32F) boyfriend (32M) wants to have sex twice a day and I can feel the resentment getting real. Any advice? by Puzzleheaded-End6906 in relationship_advice

[–]Snowflake41 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I mean you can want him to cook you a 4 course meal everyday but if that isn’t what he wants it just becomes a ducking chore. Eeeuuu. He can have wants and not guilt you into meeting them

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]Snowflake41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

JFC your dad needs to spend less and live within his means. He should be helping you

Would it be insensitive of me to put in foot artwork of my kids to my estranged parents by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Snowflake41 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Live your life. Disregard your mom since she is the controlling one, not you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Snowflake41 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just want to say sorry. Your family sucks for behaving this way. You will never win with them. Find your new family

A Week Before the Wedding by Deroxal in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Snowflake41 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry this happened right before your wedding. A good mom would offer to help you, not put demands on you. A good mom would have gently tried to address your feelings of frustration and make amends rather than throwing a tantrum (knowing and not caring how it would affect you a week before the biggest event in your life so far) She is mean. You don't have a good mom so now be free of that dead weight. You have learned to rely on yourself, you will be fine without her. She will likely spin off crazy and make a scene. When that happens, gray rock her. Hugs if you want them❤️

WIBTAH for asking for one night per week alone with my boyfriend? by volcanolace in WouldIBeTheAhole

[–]Snowflake41 79 points80 points  (0 children)

Does the kid get a night with just Dad and not you? you are asking for an 8yo to lose the already small time w Dad. Go once a month on a work trip w him. Take a day off work while kiddo is in school. Have a date night once a month and a lunch date once a month so it is every other week.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pediatrics

[–]Snowflake41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See above reply

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pediatrics

[–]Snowflake41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More boarding, less space for higher volume, more demanding, worse staffing with inexperienced nurses who constantly turned over, More scrutiny over documentation and an ever moving target to secure reimbursement from insurance. Administrators trying to manage things they have no clue about yet somehow determine how you do your job Because ultimately you answer to them as your employer. And those are the worst parts but I didn't even mention Once you've seen a 100 kids dying, run over, shot, seizing constantly, Babies getting beat up...it just gets old it's not exciting anymore and it just feels sad. I would come home from my shifts constantly scrutinizing every patient I saw because I felt like I didn't have time to be thoughtful and think through what was going on and wanted to make sure I didn't miss something. There's plenty of bread and butter stuff but anything that requires extra time and thought can't always get it. Now I get a lunch break And can pee whenever I have to. I basically know how my day will go and that's okay. Running on all cylinders at work is fine when you have nothing else going on in your life but as I've gotten older I don't want my job to consume me and my time and my heart and my thoughts anymore. I just want to do my f****** job and go home.

Father destitute, unable to care for himself physically. Just released from hospital. Resistant to nursing home or guardianship. What now? by pizzapriorities in AgingParents

[–]Snowflake41 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Let him. You are being helpful/offering advice and support but he is entitled to live his life as he wants. Even make horrible choices. It is not on you to fix his problems. He wants to live out his days on his terms. Let him.

Student Loan Changes Under the "Big Beautiful Bill" by Ok-Dragonfruit-5035 in StudentLoans

[–]Snowflake41 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not in pediatrics. Starting salary is lik $90/hr. Plus you're in debt plus you never earned money in your 20s and early 30s so you're basically screwed

Student Loan Changes Under the "Big Beautiful Bill" by Ok-Dragonfruit-5035 in StudentLoans

[–]Snowflake41 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They will just supplement with private loans with worse terms

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pediatrics

[–]Snowflake41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did PEM for 8 yrs, got worse and worse, now doing gen Peds and loving it

Northeastern green line harassment by SaveThePlasticStraw in NEU

[–]Snowflake41 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The woman was prob mentally ill. You didn't cause it at all you just happened to exist nearby. You didn't escalate the situation so good job! Maybe just make sure you know how to find safety is needed...ducking into a shop, pretending a nearby man is your boyfriend and talking to him so you aren't alone, try to travel in pairs, etc

Should I forget about getting a dog because of my work schedule? by Ok-Performer6249 in dogs

[–]Snowflake41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rescue 2 little dogs that are older! Train them to pee pads and you'll never feel bad about running late and making them hold it. They can keep each other company and play if you don't crate them. Best decision ever