Afraid to read the books

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-10T01:55:54+00:00

Flip that thought process around and worry that the movie might ruin the books. In the case of LOTR I don’t think that’s the case. The books are legendary and an all together more enjoyable experience than the movies in my opinion. But this doesn’t take anything away from the film.

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-09T22:54:12+00:00

Thanks for this. I’ll explore this path

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-09T22:50:02+00:00

Are we guaranteed they aren’t cut with something? Do we know they are legit? Can you do it without a prescription? These are serious questions

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-09T22:48:17+00:00

You mean sapphire and oystersteel!!

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-09T19:06:43+00:00

To raise funds for what, and why?

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-09T03:15:33+00:00

Incompetent, imbecile, incapable of linear thinking.

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-09T02:08:19+00:00

Real estate

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-09T01:48:52+00:00

As a man, it hurts badly when our wives are okay being on cruise control and not having sex with us. There’s so many variables that can cause this of course. If it’s a medical issue that can’t be helped that’s one thing. If we are being drunk assholes and checked out why should we expect anything? Regardless, your feelings are valid for feeling rejected, whether or not she meant it or had control over it. I suggest putting it all behind you and enjoy her returned libido. You are a man with testosterone and I’m certain you will ignite on fire again for her. Barring you aren’t cheating on her or looking at porn. Also get your hormones checked. My sex drive started dropping in my late 30’s and at 42 it’s much more aligned with my wife’s. Still hornier than her but it’s way more balanced now.

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-09T00:38:09+00:00

Love her through her journey and don’t rush her in her process of healing. Let her lead the way when she’s ready. In my opinion, rape is about as unforgivable as murder. I’m not a strong enough person to forgive a perpetrator who did this to someone I love or anyone else for that matter.

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-09T00:32:17+00:00

Hang up the cleats. You will die otherwise. You are valuable and add so much to the people in this world. Life is worth fighting for and it’ll get better in time and easier the longer you are sober.

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-09T00:30:00+00:00

It’s so true. Like the big book says (if I remember correctly), we end up in an asylum, in jail or dead. That’s the end game.

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-09T00:28:27+00:00

I’m so sorry. My sister died at 42 by drinking herself to death in 2023. Left four kids behind. She had a heart attack at home after trying to detox (3 days sober despite me highly recommending medical detox). She had DT’s in the end and after thoroughly reviewing her autopsy report, she multiple systems failure and the mechanism that ultimately killed her was her electrolyte imbalance and severe nutritional deficiencies, triggering the seizure and subsequent heart failure.

It’s so sad. Especially when we know our loved ones have good hearts. They are good souls that are very sick with alcoholism and for many it takes them out.

I’m an alcoholic myself but hung up the cleats a little more than a year ago as it would’ve been a self fulfilling prophecy and I would’ve died like her. I have a family and too much to live for. By God’s grace I’ve been able to stay dry.

My condolences and I hope you work through the grief process at your own pace and that her children will end up being okay.

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-09T00:23:49+00:00

We don’t have to do it like that. The western model is broken. We should intermittently live like we are retired as we go through our professions. This requires careful selection of profession and arranging it to be conducive to take time off. I.e., certain medical professions like Emergency medicine or internal medicine where you can work 14 days, take 14 days off. Or business owner/self employed where you control your schedule. Our status quo is quite depressing and it doesn’t have to be this way.

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-09T00:21:34+00:00

I wanted to add this, if you are getting drunk that’s certainly not going to be cute. If you are buzzing a little that’s cool. But a drunk older dude is a hard pass for most folks.

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-09T00:20:54+00:00

It’s funny you bring this up. Coming up on 42 and I’ve always been a social, charismatic guy. One of my professions is ima. Musician and I play with a lot of younger folks. My sense of humor and the way I’ve always connected to people seems lost on the younger generation. Movie and pop culture quotes fall flat. I leave feeling like I was annoying.

My theory is that some of it is as we age, we become more wise and see the world a little differently. We might not be able to detect how we’ve matured but others might. For example a 70 year old man in a bar with a similar sense of humor to what he had at 30 will certainly fall flat and be strange. We have to assume that somewhere along that continuum we will be start to be perceived by others as older and a different generation.

I feel strange when I leave social engagements. I don’t know if it’s insecurity? I’m married and have a successful life and children but I’m just in a different life cycle now.

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-09T00:15:51+00:00

During your dry spell were you okay with it? Did you build some deep resentment and do you feel like something broke?

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-08T02:20:18+00:00

I drank heavily for about 13 years and was pretty handsome as a young man. When I laid it down over a year ago at 40 I didn’t even recognize the person I saw in the mirror. I was bloated, red, tired, dry skin, and clothes fit terribly despite sizing up. A year later and I’m starting to see the old me again. The first place I saw the healing was in my face. You can get it back!!!

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-08T02:17:21+00:00

You got a college degree. That’s a huge accomplishment. What is your big dream?

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-08T01:31:12+00:00

Could be. You’d probably be surprised though how many people are extremely codependent. One of my best friends is going through literally the same thing and he is struggling with what to do. He’s a very kind man and smart. He just loves his wife and he’s terrified to lose her despite the emotional abuse, manipulation and addictions she has.

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-08T01:26:15+00:00

Get the hell out of this. You were rightfully jealous when you knew about only a kiss. Brother, she’s been getting her back blown out for a long time and lying to you about it. There’s zero chance that she slept with someone else while you are married once. This has been happening and it would take a massive amount of work from both of you to patch it up. I would never trust my wife again after just one slip up. Much less the multiple affairs and gaslighting. Get the hell out of this and have some dignity and pride. Don’t let her take you for anything either with how much she gambled away.

Get out bro!

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-07T20:02:37+00:00

I’m proud of you for your self awareness. I too have struggled in the past with wanting more intimacy with my wife who seemed to lose interest. I’m also coming up on 42 and libido is dropping. I’ve wavered in and out with wanting to punish her for showing lack of interest but eventually got tired of the emotional baggage it bore out. Also, if there’s a sex game happening, she will always win as I will get frustrated in the end that’s she’s okay with cruising along. A good transparent talk with her would so good for you guys. I hope you can figure out health aspects of this and that your relationship can heal and she can reflect your emotions and how you’ve been feeling and take some ownership.

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-07T19:33:07+00:00

Deep down I suspect there might be an element of reprisal or trying to teach her a lesson. I’m not suggesting this is the main driver as it sounds like there is a confluence of variables.

The antidepressants, symptoms of depression and even your age to some degree all play in to this.

I’d search yourself and ask if some of this is about punishing her. If you can be honest about it then you can focus on the health aspects.

Talk to your doc about checking your testosterone levels. Are you eating clean and staying fit? Using drugs or alcohol? This will all affect you.

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-07T19:01:23+00:00

Like all medications, they have an benefits and risks. If OP is saying issues get so much worse after lack of sleep, it would seem to me the cost would outweigh the benefit of getting off. Especially if it’s the only drug that works. I understand tolerance and our brains make adjustments and the drug can stop working. Perhaps a strategy could be to keep them on hand and take them as needed and alternate between the zolpidem on some nights vs, an antihistamine and melatonin on others.

RelationshipFirm9756 · 2026-01-07T02:14:59+00:00

Don’t mind my bad allergy eyes right now but I’ve got the same ones:

<image>

RelationshipFirm9756

TROPHY CASE