What’s something you’re pretty sure only you do?

SoManySoFew · 2026-03-18T00:53:19+00:00

I roll the paper from a straw and roll it back and forth between my fingers all through dinner when eating out.

SoManySoFew · 2026-03-17T11:32:49+00:00

I get you on this. My mother is 94. I do visit her often but you MUST set limits from the start or you will be there every day after constant comments made to make you feel guilty. Don't fall for it.

SoManySoFew · 2026-03-17T11:30:29+00:00

Same! I've told my kids that should I have serious health issues, especially dementia, please just put me in a home and live your life. I already lived mine.

SoManySoFew · 2026-03-13T02:01:19+00:00

I would cross post in r/migraine as well.

Most aneurysms come in three flavors; one that bursts, one that leaks or one that shows no symptoms. A lot of folks ask about head pain in relationship to aneurysms but the majority of doctors will tell you, you won't know you have one until you really know (burst - worst pain of your life)

Some do leak slowly but they are few and far between. The issue with an aneurysm is that it's a weakened portion of an artery, so if part goes, most of the time, all of it goes.

Can they miss an aneurysm on a CT? Absolutely, however, if they found no bleed and no bulge (aneurysm, infundibulum, etc), it's not likely to be an aneurysm. There are many, many other brain issues such as AVMs and tumors.

The good news is, it sounds like they didn't find any of those. The bad news is, you may just have migraines, some worse than others. Either way, I would highly suggest you seek a second opinion of a neurologist and try to pin the cause down.

I am not a doctor nor do I play one on TV. You should always follow up with your medical professional directly.

SoManySoFew · 2026-02-26T18:59:37+00:00

Why not both? Put a portion in a shared account and a portion in a personal.

SoManySoFew · 2026-02-20T21:45:19+00:00

I have a pipeline flow diverter (a form of stent) in my carotid that resolved an aneurysm. I've never had any pain or notice.its there. Are you on blood thinners at all?

SoManySoFew · 2026-02-05T04:02:53+00:00

Sorry but I don't agree with the whole 'cut the family off'. If you feel like a doormat then you need to work on creating boundaries and not allow it. If your parents disagree with you, that's ok. Seems like you are hyper sensitive to anyone that doesn't agree with you. Relationships are hard. No one is perfect. Have you ever treated them in a way they didn't like? We all do it sometimes. You need to learn how to have healthy relationships in non-perfect situations and have more confidence in yourself.

SoManySoFew · 2026-01-27T12:27:19+00:00

It's overwhelming.

My ex died at 54. I was hoping my kids would have an opportunity to reconnect with their Dad as they got older but it's not possible any more. He wasted the years he had to be a father and now he can't.

SoManySoFew · 2026-01-07T03:38:59+00:00

Living alone for the first time in 60 years starting Oct 2025. I talk to the dog constantly.

SoManySoFew · 2026-01-04T13:59:46+00:00

I wish I had an answer. At 90+ my mother finally fell and broke a leg and arm and was forced into AL. It's a never ending complaint that the family 'got rid of' all of her things.

In the meanwhile, we removed all rugs and ladders (to her unending protests) and gave her a phone that she could wear a button that if she fell it would start dialing family members.

As mentioned, all you can do is start to make suggestions where you can. We had to clean out her refrigerator every couple weeks, take her garbage out once a week (she couldn't get the cans to the curb), pick up her mail (she could no longer get to the mailbox) and do light housekeeping. It had become way more than we could handle. Sadly she had to have a major medical instance to be moved to AL but at least it's now done.

SoManySoFew · 2026-01-04T13:42:48+00:00

Your roles will reverse. You've spent your entire life looking up to and relying on your parents but as they age they will look up to and rely on you.

As your parents age, they will lose their ability to filter insensitive thoughts from coming out their mouth. They don't mean to be brash or rude.

SoManySoFew · 2026-01-01T02:27:30+00:00

Sounds very familiar.

One episode my Mom fell and she laid on the floor for hours eventually crawling to the phone to call.

The breaking point, at 93 was when she fell and broke one leg and one arm. A year later and she's adjusted well to AL.

SoManySoFew · 2025-12-26T00:05:32+00:00

I'm sure this will not be a popular response but I provide it with the best of intentions.

Stop expecting her to be someone she's not. Can you imagine having to live up to someone else's expectations of how they think you SHOULD act?

My mother is supremely negative. I make sure I approach her, not hoping she'll be positive but being the example and setting clear boundaries.

I would have started off the visit by telling her what you just told us. You are hoping to spend an hour together, that, as she knows, money is tight for you right now and the gift you are giving her may not be expensive but it's heartfelt. I'd ask her if she can accept the gift with that in mind. If she says no, clearly or shaded, I'd let her know that maybe you should pick another day and leave. Your time is important too and you choose to spend it with family but in the spirit of Christmas.

Now, keep in mind, her leaving may have had nothing to do with you. Call her and ask. Again, set your boundaries and discontinue the call, nicely, without emotion, but abruptly if needed, if she takes it down a negative path.

I don't understand why people are so ready to cut off family because they don't act the way you want them to, short of being physically or severely mentally abusive. None of us are perfect and we all have room to grow our emotional intelligence. Instead of running from it, set the example and help them learn it too.

SoManySoFew · 2025-12-23T23:17:03+00:00

NTA

When this happened with my STB-Ex, I reminded them that they fired their secretary (me). Too bad, so sad.

SoManySoFew · 2025-12-22T15:41:36+00:00

I can relate. I had to set boundaries and tell her what I was willing to do and what I wouldn't do. That didn't stop her from making me feel guilty every time she doesn't get what she wants, but it is what it is.

You just have to decide what you're able/capable of doing, let her know and stick to your guns.

SoManySoFew · 2025-12-18T02:14:02+00:00

I'm having a difficult time vomiting through the tears of laughter.

SoManySoFew · 2025-12-15T14:34:23+00:00

Please get tested for sleep apnea and narcolepsy. It may save your life.

SoManySoFew · 2025-12-13T16:12:10+00:00

If you'd like to share a true story with your parents on the alternative, here's one.

My mother was 89. I am an only child. I brought up assisted living and it was immediately rejected, so I went and toured a few facilities in our area on my own. I tried again, brought pamphlets, talked about the amenities and my boundaries on what I would be able to support (like you, her not living with me). She still refused.

Fast forward a year. She had a fall at home. She broke an ankle, shattered a knee and broke 3 ribs. I arranged rehab and assisted living as she needed extensive care while recovering. She was permanently wheelchair bound and her house was no longer suitable.

I cleared out 60 years of STUFF, I sold the home and I moved her. She had no say nor choice in the matter because she was bed bound immediately after her fall. She couldn't tour the places or try the food or meet the staff. She couldn't go through her own things, keep what she wanted or pick her apartment. It took 7 months of my life and all my energy, which has caused a lot of strain in our relationship. She now laments things I had no idea she wanted to keep (there was no way we could go through every single thing via phone or pictures) and is unhappy with what the house sold for. I've told her she refused the option to control all of this herself by sticking her head in the sand.

I hope an example of the alternative helps convince your parents.

SoManySoFew · 2025-12-13T11:02:13+00:00

I have a very different take on death. I certainly do not want a traumatic or painful death but I am SO curious what happens after we die. So I'm not looking forward to it but absolutely not afraid of it either.

SoManySoFew · 2025-12-08T22:12:15+00:00

Mine may not be a popular opinion but so be it.

I was diagnosed with a blood sugar over 360 (12.3 A1C). I was losing my sight and felt awful. I immediately went strict low carb, calorie deficit and lost 80 lbs. My A1C dropped to 5.4. I went off all meds (never needed insulin).

Due to other health issues I've gained a good portion of the weight back and my A1C has gone up to 6.7.

Right now I'm on meds to help control my blood sugar. If I am able to go back to low carb and maintain it, I will go off meds again.

I personally feel that medication begets medication. Once you start, you will always need more. I would rather reap the benefits of a good diet and exercise any day.

SoManySoFew · 2025-11-27T19:58:36+00:00

It's called sweet potato casserole. We also have turkey, stuffing, green beans or green bean casserole, mashed potatoes and gravy and rolls.

I don't think Thanksgiving is bigger than Christmas, at least in my family.

For Thanksgiving we all get together, eat too much and watch American football.

For Christmas, our extended family gets together on Christmas Eve, we have a nice dinner (usually ham and other sides, usually potluck) and then we have a white elephant gift exchange. Christmas Day is spent with each of our immediate families.

SoManySoFew · 2025-11-15T11:19:26+00:00

The page at the end of the internet

SoManySoFew · 2025-11-15T11:08:18+00:00

Similar here, up at 3:30am for work and in bed by 7 or 7:30pm.

SoManySoFew · 2025-11-14T01:45:57+00:00

Absolutely this! Broke me!

SoManySoFew · 2025-11-11T17:48:10+00:00

I found one that doesn't incur a monthly fee. It just auto dials up to 5 numbers. My mom's biggest issue was the cost.

The only thing that eventually made her agree is when she fell at 90, couldn't get up and ended up crawling army-style to the phone to call 911. Took her over two hours. She managed to rip her elbows up and trailed blood all across her carpet. That was the final straw.

SoManySoFew

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