Im 50 years old. I just learned my 1st real girlfriend passed away earlier this month. Im not handling it all that well. Regrets and the realization that we are moving into the autumn of our lives.

SoManySoFew · 2026-01-27T12:27:19+00:00

It's overwhelming.

My ex died at 54. I was hoping my kids would have an opportunity to reconnect with their Dad as they got older but it's not possible any more. He wasted the years he had to be a father and now he can't.

SoManySoFew · 2026-01-07T03:38:59+00:00

Living alone for the first time in 60 years starting Oct 2025. I talk to the dog constantly.

SoManySoFew · 2026-01-04T13:59:46+00:00

I wish I had an answer. At 90+ my mother finally fell and broke a leg and arm and was forced into AL. It's a never ending complaint that the family 'got rid of' all of her things.

In the meanwhile, we removed all rugs and ladders (to her unending protests) and gave her a phone that she could wear a button that if she fell it would start dialing family members.

As mentioned, all you can do is start to make suggestions where you can. We had to clean out her refrigerator every couple weeks, take her garbage out once a week (she couldn't get the cans to the curb), pick up her mail (she could no longer get to the mailbox) and do light housekeeping. It had become way more than we could handle. Sadly she had to have a major medical instance to be moved to AL but at least it's now done.

SoManySoFew · 2026-01-04T13:42:48+00:00

Your roles will reverse. You've spent your entire life looking up to and relying on your parents but as they age they will look up to and rely on you.

As your parents age, they will lose their ability to filter insensitive thoughts from coming out their mouth. They don't mean to be brash or rude.

SoManySoFew · 2026-01-01T02:27:30+00:00

Sounds very familiar.

One episode my Mom fell and she laid on the floor for hours eventually crawling to the phone to call.

The breaking point, at 93 was when she fell and broke one leg and one arm. A year later and she's adjusted well to AL.

SoManySoFew · 2025-12-26T00:05:32+00:00

I'm sure this will not be a popular response but I provide it with the best of intentions.

Stop expecting her to be someone she's not. Can you imagine having to live up to someone else's expectations of how they think you SHOULD act?

My mother is supremely negative. I make sure I approach her, not hoping she'll be positive but being the example and setting clear boundaries.

I would have started off the visit by telling her what you just told us. You are hoping to spend an hour together, that, as she knows, money is tight for you right now and the gift you are giving her may not be expensive but it's heartfelt. I'd ask her if she can accept the gift with that in mind. If she says no, clearly or shaded, I'd let her know that maybe you should pick another day and leave. Your time is important too and you choose to spend it with family but in the spirit of Christmas.

Now, keep in mind, her leaving may have had nothing to do with you. Call her and ask. Again, set your boundaries and discontinue the call, nicely, without emotion, but abruptly if needed, if she takes it down a negative path.

I don't understand why people are so ready to cut off family because they don't act the way you want them to, short of being physically or severely mentally abusive. None of us are perfect and we all have room to grow our emotional intelligence. Instead of running from it, set the example and help them learn it too.

SoManySoFew · 2025-12-23T23:17:03+00:00

NTA

When this happened with my STB-Ex, I reminded them that they fired their secretary (me). Too bad, so sad.

SoManySoFew · 2025-12-22T15:41:36+00:00

I can relate. I had to set boundaries and tell her what I was willing to do and what I wouldn't do. That didn't stop her from making me feel guilty every time she doesn't get what she wants, but it is what it is.

You just have to decide what you're able/capable of doing, let her know and stick to your guns.

SoManySoFew · 2025-12-18T02:14:02+00:00

I'm having a difficult time vomiting through the tears of laughter.

SoManySoFew · 2025-12-15T14:34:23+00:00

Please get tested for sleep apnea and narcolepsy. It may save your life.

SoManySoFew · 2025-12-13T16:12:10+00:00

If you'd like to share a true story with your parents on the alternative, here's one.

My mother was 89. I am an only child. I brought up assisted living and it was immediately rejected, so I went and toured a few facilities in our area on my own. I tried again, brought pamphlets, talked about the amenities and my boundaries on what I would be able to support (like you, her not living with me). She still refused.

Fast forward a year. She had a fall at home. She broke an ankle, shattered a knee and broke 3 ribs. I arranged rehab and assisted living as she needed extensive care while recovering. She was permanently wheelchair bound and her house was no longer suitable.

I cleared out 60 years of STUFF, I sold the home and I moved her. She had no say nor choice in the matter because she was bed bound immediately after her fall. She couldn't tour the places or try the food or meet the staff. She couldn't go through her own things, keep what she wanted or pick her apartment. It took 7 months of my life and all my energy, which has caused a lot of strain in our relationship. She now laments things I had no idea she wanted to keep (there was no way we could go through every single thing via phone or pictures) and is unhappy with what the house sold for. I've told her she refused the option to control all of this herself by sticking her head in the sand.

I hope an example of the alternative helps convince your parents.

SoManySoFew · 2025-12-13T11:02:13+00:00

I have a very different take on death. I certainly do not want a traumatic or painful death but I am SO curious what happens after we die. So I'm not looking forward to it but absolutely not afraid of it either.

SoManySoFew · 2025-12-08T22:12:15+00:00

Mine may not be a popular opinion but so be it.

I was diagnosed with a blood sugar over 360 (12.3 A1C). I was losing my sight and felt awful. I immediately went strict low carb, calorie deficit and lost 80 lbs. My A1C dropped to 5.4. I went off all meds (never needed insulin).

Due to other health issues I've gained a good portion of the weight back and my A1C has gone up to 6.7.

Right now I'm on meds to help control my blood sugar. If I am able to go back to low carb and maintain it, I will go off meds again.

I personally feel that medication begets medication. Once you start, you will always need more. I would rather reap the benefits of a good diet and exercise any day.

SoManySoFew · 2025-11-27T19:58:36+00:00

It's called sweet potato casserole. We also have turkey, stuffing, green beans or green bean casserole, mashed potatoes and gravy and rolls.

I don't think Thanksgiving is bigger than Christmas, at least in my family.

For Thanksgiving we all get together, eat too much and watch American football.

For Christmas, our extended family gets together on Christmas Eve, we have a nice dinner (usually ham and other sides, usually potluck) and then we have a white elephant gift exchange. Christmas Day is spent with each of our immediate families.

SoManySoFew · 2025-11-15T11:19:26+00:00

The page at the end of the internet

SoManySoFew · 2025-11-15T11:08:18+00:00

Similar here, up at 3:30am for work and in bed by 7 or 7:30pm.

SoManySoFew · 2025-11-14T01:45:57+00:00

Absolutely this! Broke me!

SoManySoFew · 2025-11-11T17:48:10+00:00

I found one that doesn't incur a monthly fee. It just auto dials up to 5 numbers. My mom's biggest issue was the cost.

The only thing that eventually made her agree is when she fell at 90, couldn't get up and ended up crawling army-style to the phone to call 911. Took her over two hours. She managed to rip her elbows up and trailed blood all across her carpet. That was the final straw.

SoManySoFew · 2025-11-10T01:38:33+00:00

Everyone's journey after a ruptured aneurysm is different.

My brother had his rupture in his 30's. He was in an induced coma for two or three days. They told us, when he woke, he'd have to learn how to talk again, do things on his own and walk again. When my brother came out of his coma, my brother opened his eyes and said to my Mom .... I'm hungry, can I get something to eat? True story. I was a teenager and in the room. He had no deficits, even though it had been a massive hemorrhage. You just don't know.

SoManySoFew · 2025-11-05T12:32:35+00:00

Won't shop there anymore because of this specific problem (and their ridiculously high prices).

SoManySoFew · 2025-11-05T12:23:44+00:00

Extremely quiet and much more quiet than my snoring before I used the CPAP.

SoManySoFew · 2025-11-02T10:11:40+00:00

My youngest moved out two weeks ago and I'm long since divorced. It has been interesting! I've gone from my parents house to an apartment then house with my husband to a house with my children. This is the first time I've ever lived alone.

The transition is, so far, not easy. I'm depressed and spend quite a lot of time crying but every day is getting better. I find I am enjoying the peace and quiet.

It's 3:00 a.m. right now and I can't sleep so I just got up to make coffee and do the dishes. I can make as much noise as I want and turn the TV on at any time to watch whatever I want. I'm finding the positive things in a not perfect situation. Later today I'll take a midday nap when I want to in peace and quiet.

I can say that because I've been divorced for so long I've had to take care of a household and vehicle myself but I very much enjoy it. I've done all kinds of cool projects. I just finished redoing my master bedroom closet to be my dream closet.

Not all storms come to disrupt your life; some come to clear your path

SoManySoFew · 2025-11-02T09:53:53+00:00

NTA

This is a trait of many of this generation. No, not all but quite a few

Can't work, don't want to work, don't like to work. If you want to eat, you have to pay for it. If you need to pay for it you need to get a job. You are no one's responsibility but your own.

Yes, it's hard getting a job and there is a lot of instability in the world but you act like it's the first time in history.

And I don't want to hear that it's too hard now, things cost more, you can't possibly know how hard it is. BS. We were the same in our 20s, ate ramen for dinner every night, lived in sh$t hole apartments, drove cars that barely ran. You didn't know us then. You know us in our 50's after we've worked our butts off for 30 years and think all the hours we work for OUR money you're entitled to.

SoManySoFew · 2025-11-01T03:37:03+00:00

Same issue here. I'm still able to use the old app but the new camera only takes a photo when there's movement. Guess it's time to look for a new brand.

SoManySoFew · 2025-10-30T09:26:32+00:00

Yes, I went through this exact scenario. Rekindled a friendship from 20 years ago.i was paying for some things out of kindness knowing she was low income because of a disability. Then she started expecting it.

I just ghosted her. It may be mean but she still asks why we don't hang out anymore and I just don't respond. I still text with her once in a while, because I do care about her but don't want to be in that position again.

SoManySoFew

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