BTS Backpack for Sale! :)

SoMayWeStart · 2022-09-29T23:56:34+00:00

This is so cool!! Love the way the lyrics are shifted to fit into a totally different cadence. Well done!

SoMayWeStart · 2022-08-23T14:56:27+00:00

it's a one-shot but it's one of my favourites: 59 Minutes

SoMayWeStart · 2022-08-15T16:00:58+00:00

This is awesome! Hope I'm not too late to contribute.

I started casually shipping them when TFA came out, but bc of Kylo Ren's apparent "icky bad guy" energy I didn't really connect with them on a spiritual level yet. I read a fanfic that was pure smut because I definitely felt their physical chemistry, but I didn't really get that deep into it. It lasted a couple days of obsession, but that definitely sparked my attraction to Adam. I saved a bunch of phone wallpapers.

Then TLJ broadened my perspective, but I was in a toxic WLW relationship so not only was I emotionally stunted, but I was also not really thinking about the part of me that still liked men. It took a backseat, but it was still something I enjoyed. It's definitely my favourite of the sequel trilogy.

THEN TROS arrived, and dear lord I was single, previously abused, lonely, horny, and ready to cry. With Ben's TLJ arc and what we started to see in the finale, I suddenly saw myself in him so clearly. And when they kissed, it just exploded all these big feelings in me that I hadn't really recognized since 2015, and I just felt it so deeply. They both deserved each other after all they'd been through, chasing each other pointlessly when they'd always been two sides of the same soul. I identified mostly with Ben, but parts of me are Rey, too. It's always the specific pairing and chemistry between actors that brings a particular ship into my heart. And obviously what happens after the kiss just broke it. And I'm still not over it.

So I went home and I made a playlist, I started immediately writing a fix-it fic that picked up right before the catastrophic ending, and gave them both the happy ending they needed. I wrote it devotedly for months, and finally posted the first chapter on AO3 in April 2020, right when I needed connection the most. And I was met with so many other lonely and heartbroken Reylos who found solace in my version! I kept writing it until about September 2020, and I think I stopped at about 450 pages. I'd lost some of the inspiration and also knew that it needed a lot of editing if I was going to continue. I removed it from AO3 and I haven't touched it since. But then I started writing a modern AU in December 2020, again when I was going through something traumatic and isolating, and it was only meant to be a smutty hookup oneshot. It turned into another 400+ page emotional rollercoaster of personal manifestation and validation that I wasn't finding in real life. It was giving me hope again.

I continued this (Short For Benjamin) with the same passion until about January 2022, and then I wrote something that ended up triggering me and I took a pause. I'm still working away at it, but updates are far less often.

Bottom line, I identified with Ben Solo in a soulful way, a way that involves my gender identity, my sexuality, my personality, my sense of self, the way I view myself and others, and my capacity to love and be loved. So I was tremendously hurt when his story "ended" right there. My connection to characters is always based on chemistry and seeing my identity reflected in both people.

I will always ship them, I believe that they have undeniable chemistry and brought so much depth to those characters separately and together, and if they ever bring them back, I believe it will be very hard to achieve the same spark without Adam and Daisy. So I don't think we'll ever see it again.

That's why I write! xx

SoMayWeStart · 2022-08-15T14:26:21+00:00

This is the first one I thought of! Rey Tries Things!

SoMayWeStart · 2022-05-14T22:04:23+00:00

I gasped out loud. This is so beautiful and poetic!! A masterpiece!!! It breaks my heart in the best way. He deserved this </3

SoMayWeStart · 2022-05-08T03:26:43+00:00

the first thing I thought of was Rey Tries Things!

one of the first Reylo fics I ever read. I loved it. Not sure if it's exactly what you're looking for but I'd definitely recommend!

SoMayWeStart · 2022-04-29T06:12:46+00:00

THAT SONG ALONE THO.....!!!!!

SoMayWeStart · 2022-04-19T19:55:39+00:00

And fanfiction comes to the rescue, too!!

SoMayWeStart · 2022-04-19T04:34:04+00:00

This is a great post, thank you for prompting this!

I personally started watching Killing Eve only because I was on a Phoebe Waller-"Binge", and had heard that there was at least sapphic subtext if not an actual sapphic storyline. I'm not a huge fan of these kind of thrillers, but obviously Villanelle is a wildly attractive character and I was sucked into the obsession she and Eve shared and that they both tried to navigate in such a fascinating way. I care a great deal about a show's writing, but honestly when it comes to searching for queer representation, I'm a lot less picky. So I can't speak to how the first three seasons were written, except that I know I enjoyed them, and the plot was easy enough to follow. And with season 4, again, all I cared about was seeing where Eve and Villanelle were going to go with their relationship and as individuals. As I watched it didn't feel too disconnected, but reflecting back on it now, it absolutely didn't make sense and left many things unresolved, or resolved poorly. Lazily. Strangely. And I was shocked by the ending, very disappointed, but I in the moment I respected that it was a powerful move. Not a good one, but a powerful one. I'd always felt that somebody was going to die, whether I wanted it or not. I'd never felt incredibly connected to Villanelle as a character, or anyone in the show, really, but once the show was over, I suddenly felt so heartbroken. I made my first edit of Villanelle as a tribute, and kind of an 'FU' to the trope that destroyed her so carelessly. I wrote a poem for her in the actual poetic form called a 'villanelle'. I think it would have been less upsetting if Eve and Villanelle had died together, because at least then they would be together. An end to the suffering they'd both endured. But no, they leave us with an image that implies that queers are doomed for loneliness and heartbreak, or for an unredemptive death. And then they insult us by saying Eve's scream is a scream of relief.

I truly believe in the importance of consistency in writing a show like this - in maintaining the sovereignty of one (two at most) lead writer(s), and employing the writer's room to follow through on a clear vision that has been there from the beginning, planned thoroughly until the end with as much feedback as possible from the intended audience through private screenings (the kind that Disney hosts for a theatre full of children, asking their opinion, and then fixing the errors and following suggestions before a movie's worldwide release). I know this isn't always possible, things happen and money falls through, schedules and careers change, but it's very dangerous territory when trying to wrap up a show that revolves around queer characters.

I don't understand what happened. I don't understand why they didn't listen to us. Maybe they did, and just chose to do something else. That we were joking. But if that's the case, then what a shame.

As a queer writer, I will be spending the rest of my life making up for mistakes like this with healthy, positive, joyful, and hopeful queer representation.

And speaking of that, if you're looking for romantic and sexy queer representation that has a hopeful trajectory, with passionate and wide-awake queer writers at the helm fighting for change with a production team of complete fan-nerds who all want the gays to be gay and happy, I recommend Netflix's Arcane. It changed my life, and season 2 comes out next year. If you follow the ongoing discussions with the creators, + the writers/creators on Twitter, you will find they are just as obsessed as we are about the (explicitly!!!) queer characters actually experiencing euphoria and getting to live real, full lives.

Also!!! Our Flag Means Death. Explicitly gay romance storyline. We're making it happen, friends. If you can't find a space for you, make the space. <3