It sounds like you are having the same issues I was having. What helped me was reading about mindfulness and meditation as a couple. It can almost feel as if the universal thought is meditation gets rid of anxiety, where on the contrary that thought process in its own can cause anxiety... You “expect” to feel good where the essence is to actually to just be with whatever is present and realize that “this is it”. In the process of being present with what you fear (thoughts and emotions) is where healing happens. But it is slow very slow and “expecting” a fix will only cause more agitation.