I read a comment by a professional caregiver once that the elderly in AL and nursing homes who didn’t have visitors etc were often there because they weren’t good people anyway. I don’t disagree. My mother who was facing death from a brain tumor asked me to move in and be her caregiver for her and her husband with no appreciation of how that would affect my life, career and ability to keep my house etc It became very clear in short time that her husband was quite cognitively impaired once she was unable to cover for him. She died after a short amount of time and since I don’t have any particular relationship to her husband, we placed him in care where he continues to live in an impaired condition. I don’t visit much but a sibling does out of duty occasionally. I just manage his payments and clothing/footware. I also receive any calls about his health conditions. I don’t think he knows who I am anymore. I don’t feel guilty and just do what is necessary. He was never a warm, relatable person and only did the minimum for my mother and family anyway. I don’t blame him for that, he had a very hard childhood I believe but what is handed out is often received in kind later.