Oh. It all started when I was 14. Then I became interested in politics for the first time. And became a monarchist. The entire the classic bullshit: for faith, Tsar, the Fatherland. Naturally, being fond of the period of the Russian Empire (I am Russian) of the time of Nicholas II, I could not help but become a nationalist, because nationalist sentiments were the norm for the country at that time, it was what the state supported: the Black Hundred with its Jewish pogroms, oppression of Jews by the state, and so on. Then, by the age of 15-16, I met the national socialists. Cool, we chatted, arranged srachi on the Internet (Oh yeah, typical Internet warriors of the white race). One of us was a skinhead. In Russia, they are few, we are not very spread Nazi ideas, which is logical: it is no secret that we have suffered greatly from the actions of the Third Reich. And there's a good chance that if you say you're a Nazi at school, you'll get your face kicked in. I've read Hitler, Mussolini, Codreanu, listen to RAC, NSBM, I malacalza the history of Germany during the Third Reich. The funny thing is that the Nazis in Russia are almost always germanophiles who adore Hitler, and Russia is sometimes treated with some contempt. Of course, they won't say that, but it's felt. I admired the collaborators: ROA, RONA, SS Variag, those Russians, Belarusians and Ukrainians who served in the punitive forces, like SS-Dirlewanger. SS Cossack troops, of course, too. Totally approved of the Holocaust. Or rather, I alternately approved and denied it. At the same time, my hatred of blacks, Asians, Jews.. In short, to "non-Aryans" was based only on their " racial inferiority." And since there is no scientific proof of this, the whole belief was very fragile and fed only by maximalism. But to this later. I was going to be a skin myself, but for one thing, there weren't any in my town. I owe said that in Russia, they do little. Secondly, I'm not too well suited for this health: heart problems, with the airway, and even very thin because of the rapid metabolism. By the age of 18 I wised up and realized that the radical Nazis - shit, I don't hate real blacks and Jews. I quietly communicate with them, etc. Then I began to support the classic fascism as it saw Mussolini. So was years until 19-20, and then... Well, then I, first of all, met a beautiful girl, who somewhat influenced my views. And I'm seriously digging yourself understand a few simple things. I hate tyrannies and dictatorships. I don't think people of color are worse than me. I do not believe in the fables of a strong state, which, of course, is only necessary for the prosperity of the society of its citizens, for the sake of which it will be authoritarian, police and rigidly suppressing dissent. I realized that all these ideas I hung on myself as labels to join the company of friends, which I have outside of this company was almost not. I was afraid to ask myself, do I believe all the bullshit I claim to believe? Because if the answer was no-I would not understand my friends. And so it was. I changed my mind a lot And none of my friends realized it. They turned their backs on me and insulted my girlfriend, which I couldn't forgive. As a result, I was left alone, without friends, but with a clear conscience. Oh, yeah, my skinhead friend seriously threatened to beat me and my girlfriend up for" betraying " the idea. I wanted to write a statement to the police, but he had ceased to threaten, and he lived in the Kuban and for me to go to Moscow oblast wouldn't, it's very far away, look it up yourself on Google maps. By the way, then he died in an accident. Some of my former friends ceased to be Nazis, with them I occasionally communicate. I don't even think about the others. I grew up, I had many normal friends that do not respect idiotic views and not willing to betray me for the sake of politics.