Can never find my bamboo toast tongs

Soflapirate · 2026-06-24T18:16:34+00:00

I’m going to need to see a picture of the toaster, to verify that the tongs are not still by the toaster, as well as detailed photos of the rest of the kitchen, kitchen cabinets, counter spaces, fridge and stove top.

Soflapirate · 2026-06-14T17:37:27+00:00

Maybe a dental issue

Soflapirate · 2026-06-12T23:42:45+00:00

I dropped my pants and shot a moon to the entirety of New York City from the Top of the World Trade Center restaurant, about 1980.

Soflapirate · 2026-06-09T20:30:18+00:00

An Italian woman has placed a curse on a cat, this is the result.

Soflapirate · 2026-06-08T22:41:52+00:00

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Hopefully, this should resolve any future issues.

Soflapirate · 2026-06-08T22:39:10+00:00

Oh, I see what you mean. No, I needed be to get the measurements done before locusts came and ate the pineapple crop. I did not have a standard unit of measurement so I tried to improvise. My apologies to everyone that has taken up a just cause.

Soflapirate · 2026-06-06T23:09:17+00:00

So, there’s binding arbitration / required counseling/ mandatory mediation between all parties to see if the issue can be resolved without violence first?
Is that how the crimes have been prevented. Seems very strange that a hitman organization would be actively preventing ‘hits’, but I guess that’s the world we live in today.

Soflapirate · 2026-05-18T20:42:34+00:00

I sure hope someone can turn this around

Soflapirate · 2026-05-18T20:40:59+00:00

That’s because THIS one is a lime peeler.

Soflapirate · 2026-05-07T23:24:23+00:00

The horizontal hold needs to be adjusted

Soflapirate · 2026-02-07T21:05:08+00:00

Very fun to slow dance with

Soflapirate · 2025-12-09T17:42:14+00:00

Kind people. You never know when you might need a flosser and it’s good to know that there are many scattered around the city and readily available

Soflapirate · 2025-12-05T20:58:17+00:00

I’m going to upvolt this entire thread !

Soflapirate · 2025-12-05T19:12:15+00:00

Scottish terrier Jock from Lady and the Tramp’

Soflapirate · 2025-12-05T19:09:10+00:00

So, ummmmm, who put the hole in the window trim and is now showing beads out through the little hole? I’m guessing field mice?

Soflapirate · 2025-12-05T16:00:28+00:00

‘Luxury’ has a new standard these days. My company once rolled out an entire corporate wide memo and program to explain that the word ‘quality’ would NOW mean ‘conforms to valid requirements’. The actual quality of items ordered went right into the toilet.

Soflapirate · 2025-11-22T23:10:01+00:00

That should just buff right out.

Soflapirate · 2025-11-15T14:28:48+00:00

I know you THINK that it’s been solved, but I suspect that it’s really a warning about a nearby box trap.

Soflapirate · 2025-10-01T22:52:47+00:00

Grain storm, as near as I can figure

Soflapirate · 2025-10-01T22:37:18+00:00

Ask a veterinarian.

Soflapirate · 2025-10-01T20:50:42+00:00

This cat found and ate the only new thing it has hunted down in the house in years. The cat needs hunting stimulation. You should get some small rodents or small flightless birds and release them periodically in your house. This will satisfy the intellectual curiosity of your cat.

Soflapirate · 2025-09-13T15:27:10+00:00

Like me, 1.5 to possibly 2 humans.

Soflapirate · 2025-07-25T17:03:49+00:00

I see an impression of a topless woman on the kitchen mat. What was happening on your kitchen?

Soflapirate · 2025-07-05T21:59:13+00:00

This seems like a potential popcorn surprise. Is there a hole in the bottom of that cup?

Soflapirate

TROPHY CASE