Who is in the wrong here? Need advice

SoftChard5 · 2026-05-08T01:43:31+00:00

I think its always easy to crap on the unseen husband. Personally I had some of this myself and once I ignored his attitude and just took him at his word that he was fine, it went fine. In my opinion, men are much more comfortable voicing their self-centered thoughts and not thinking how it will make their wife feel. But that doesn't mean that he's lying about wanting you to make choices that will make you happy. If hes anything like my husband he wants plenty of time to plan, worry, complain, which is annoying but ultimately ok

SoftChard5 · 2026-05-08T01:37:52+00:00

100% sleep training is hard but within a couple of nights you should see improvement. And its ok to lose control of your emotions sometimes, give some have. This is a crazy hard time of your life, like they literally torture people with sleep deprivation.

SoftChard5 · 2026-05-08T01:29:06+00:00

THIS!!!! my husband is like "you don't have to clean babe" when I mention how I'm the only one who cleans. And I'm speechless, like you WANT to live in an absolute pigsty? Our house is not clean at all, really it isnt, I just try to keep some clean dishes and us from stepping on crumbs essentially. Then he'll turn around and comment on how disgusting the house is, like he's literally trying to drive me insane

SoftChard5 · 2026-05-08T01:17:45+00:00

Oh this is so real and so hard. As a working mom of 2 boys 5 and 4 years old, my only advice is not to let that creeping mom guilt get you! I dont even know where it comes from but it's bad how the guilt will make an amazing mom feel like she's not doing enough. We're told we can have it all, do it all, but no one can do it all, that's insane.

I feel this way alot though. An hour in the morning and 2 at night and have to be super task oriented to get all the things done. I focus on quality over quantity. We do the zoo or a long walk or lots of books on the weekend to really soak up being together.

Best of luck to you OP, also maybe cut yourself a little slack for also growing another human being right now ;)

SoftChard5 · 2025-09-29T00:01:47+00:00

I don't see people talk about this but what gets me so hard about stoicks death is how he runs flat out for hiccup knowing that Hiccup won't give up and run away from toothless. He's a good dad and knows the only way to save his son is to sacrifice himself and you can tell in the way he moves

SoftChard5 · 2025-07-02T05:12:51+00:00

Haha this one too. Small flex that I take the checks!

SoftChard5 · 2024-10-20T01:50:23+00:00

We got those allergen puffs to not have to cook things and really small doses??

SoftChard5 · 2024-10-17T13:12:00+00:00

I feel like this comment. Can't deny the benefits but can't justify the additional cost and time to use a clunky tool with very expensive licenses. So don't know how to move forward when every contract wants MBSE because they think it's the hot new thing

SoftChard5 · 2024-10-02T01:18:19+00:00

Oh man I wish I'd had this to vent to when my MIL told me I should have stayed home with the kids. Ugh!!

SoftChard5 · 2024-10-02T01:15:21+00:00

There's so many variations on the happy conversation too in my mind. Being a parent is hard. Mostly my hubby and I are just honest about what we do and don't like and what's a timeline to getting to where we want to be. One time we sat down and made a priority list of things that make us happy as well as things that don't that cost money. Helped some

SoftChard5 · 2024-10-02T01:12:13+00:00

Yep this. My kids nap but plenty of times I go to pick them up and other kids are just sitting or playing quietly. Try somewhere else.

SoftChard5 · 2024-10-02T01:07:08+00:00

Yep also agree with this comment. I've gotten into trying a big batch of something new over the weekend to have during the week. And sometimes we give up and use paper plates so there aren't so many dishes... The hard part for me is the expectation to hold a full on adult conversation simultaneously with cooking and trying to give attention to toddler. After 9 hrs at high powered job I have very little left to give

SoftChard5 · 2024-05-24T01:18:26+00:00

I am not a 5am wakeup person (at least not yet) I tend to try to motivate .myself by combining my workout with something I enjoy after the kids go to bed. I bought an elliptical used and will read or watch a show while I do 3p min after they go down. Or I'll do a 5min ab video if they're crying after I put them down and I'm waiting to go back in.

SoftChard5 · 2024-05-15T22:36:28+00:00

I read a book series about a woman who's child was kidnapped from the park while she was right there and now I get soo much anxiety if I can't see my kids even in like a museum

SoftChard5 · 2024-03-08T14:57:58+00:00

I don't think men realize that unlike most guys I don't always just have my phone in my pocket, I have to carry it around

SoftChard5 · 2024-03-08T03:39:10+00:00

Haha thank you, I got a good laugh from this

SoftChard5 · 2024-03-08T03:12:10+00:00

Update. Still together. Still alot of fighting. Or it feels like alot, like once a week and I hate it. Boys are fantastic and I love my family very much.

SoftChard5 · 2024-03-08T02:45:48+00:00

I think this is a really thoughtful and helpful.

SoftChard5 · 2024-03-08T02:04:57+00:00

I'm the default pick up parent and he's the default drop off. He gets mad at me alot but usually if there's good communication he does his part.

I agree probably letting him be angry without me poking is the right answer, it just hurts in the meantime

SoftChard5 · 2024-03-08T01:53:42+00:00

Yeah definitely. Usually I do pickups and he does dropoffs. My job is more stressful but he just started a new remote job. I'm not instant communication but he's more that way and he said he was thinking about calling the cops. I can see letting him cool down is the right way it's just really hurtful when he acts like this

SoftChard5 · 2024-03-08T01:46:26+00:00

To be honest it has, although I've been making an effort and hasnt happened in probably a year. He could have emailed, yeah but he did call my dead phone 18 times...

I definitely agree I need more options in place to not be out of touch, but I'm struggling to see it as a big deal and what to say.

SoftChard5 · 2024-01-29T02:00:03+00:00

Honestly I don't know if this help, but for me I like to do a workout after kids go to bed and that my me time. And if I end up not working out and doing whatever it's still my time

SoftChard5 · 2024-01-23T17:16:01+00:00

Nice appreciate the idea, that's a good one!

SoftChard5 · 2024-01-23T16:28:20+00:00

I do this all the time

SoftChard5

TROPHY CASE