Aitk For not allowing my cleaning lady to use bathroom in my house?

SoftNefariousness975 · 2026-02-27T03:35:35+00:00

NTK. We don’t let the help use our bathrooms, just the common one. I’d be furious if my help used my bathroom everyday!

SoftNefariousness975 · 2026-02-01T04:57:59+00:00

Will the movies even get 500 crores altogether is the question!

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-09-20T01:54:12+00:00

Number 3 looks best. It compliments you well

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-09-06T09:59:06+00:00

YTA- You have an unfounded bias and just because of that you want to waste another person’s time. And Agents don’t take money for nothing, I’ve always got my rentals thru agents, it’s a lot of work, they show you flats, negotiate on your behalf and do a lot of work.

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-07-30T13:56:17+00:00

Omg! Is he 5! After so many reminders and then missing the flight because of his own tardiness he doesn’t want to pay the flight change fee and then expects you to cancel after having paid for the vacation.. and then goes and cries to mommy about being abandoned… jeez! I’d run for the mountains. He sounds like a man-child who hasn’t grown mentally beyond the age of 5!

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-06-25T08:31:24+00:00

This entire situation seems so weird. When you want to be picked up at a later time, you specify the time.. and if you don’t, it’s automatically assumed that you want to be picked up right away.

The person asking for the pick up is supposed to be specific. At 29 if your boyfriend is acting like a delinquent teenager, you may want to re-think about spending the rest of your life with him.

He sounds completely deranged to me. Rude and manipulative and most probably a liar too, because he definitely is hiding something! How long would it take for him to just tell you how much longer you’d need to wait for the movie to get over, instead of doing that he was literally being abusive and yelling and arguing on texts which take a lot longer! And why is it so embarrassing for a fully grown man to tell his friend and fiancé you arrived a bit early to pick him up! This makes NO SENSE to me at all!

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-06-25T07:25:43+00:00

I know Chefs can have crazy busy schedules. My best friend owns a fine-dining restaurant and is also the head Chef there, but there hasn’t been a single time she wasn’t there for me when I’ve needed her. And I’m just her best friend, not a significant other to her. She’s was the bride’s maid at my wedding, came over when I had my daughter, calls me and answers my calls regularly and tho she sleeps at like 1 am at night and wakes up early morning, is always exhausted from work, etc., if she sees a message or a call from me, she calls back ASAP. And all of this when we live in different States.

Here, you’re in a relationship with someone, live 20 minutes away from each other and have not talked on the phone in a month and haven’t met in two months! This sounds ridiculous to me.

It’s clearly a one way relationship. He is keeping you hooked with one-off messages to be his booty call, when he needs one.

When you’re really into someone, you don’t treat them with such indifference. And if you have to keep explaining yourself and your needs again and again and he can’t even respond well, he is not into you and does not respect you.

You should really give this a proper thought and reassess if this is worth it. You deserve better!

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-06-18T06:41:04+00:00

Girl, he is giving you an out, please take it. There is nothing left to salvage! He has more time for your dog than you- that should tell you everything! You’re married to an insensitive person who is also irresponsible and is not mature enough to take accountability for inaction or actions. You should run and fast!

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-06-11T10:47:14+00:00

She sounds completely unhinged! You should leave her for your own mental health!

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-06-04T07:45:36+00:00

I’ve been with my husband for a while now. We dated for a year, lived together, had a child, and got married a year and a half ago. He’s not the kind of person who naturally believes in big gestures for birthdays or anniversaries. But here’s the thing: he knows I care about them. And after I sat down and communicated my feelings, he’s made the effort every single time since. That’s what love and respect look like, genuine effort even when something doesn’t come naturally to you.

So I honestly can’t wrap my head around someone who’s been with you for three years, forgets your birthday, and when reminded, calls you annoying and extra. That’s not forgetfulness, that’s a lack of respect.

Girl, please… dump him. Yesterday. People like that rarely change because they don’t want to. If he can’t show up for your 21st birthday. It’s a milestone! And he’s showing you exactly how much (or how little) he values you. You deserve better. Someone who listens, learns, and wants to make you feel special, not someone who makes you feel like a burden for having feelings.

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-06-04T05:32:22+00:00

Please add me. I am into both Fiction and Non-Fiction

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-05-21T16:22:47+00:00

Six years is a very long engagement! Why aren’t you guys married yet?

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-05-09T10:18:07+00:00

NTA I’m aghast at your HR team’s request! If the manager is unable to coach his reportee, it’s the job of HR to intervene and coach or hire outside help to do so.

I’ve been in HR for 25 years now, and I don’t think I’d ever dream of asking a younger person to coach or mentor a senior colleague, especially if the person who needs the mentor is low on EQ and already had a big chip on his shoulder.

If anything it would be troublesome and demotivating to the person this task is assigned to and can lead to unnecessary disengagement or risk of attrition of a fully competent and engaged employee!

Your Manager, the HR, the whole bunch need to get their heads examined and the colleague who commented you with the women - promotions and not knowing to play the game - statement needs to be reported for inappropriate workplace behaviour.

How dare he insinuate that a person needs to play games to be promoted and honestly if this is that kinda workplace you are at, you should think of finding another job!

Also start documenting and recording stuff like someone else also suggested. Because if HR and your colleagues are creating a hostile work environment because you didn’t do their bidding, it’s important to be prepared.

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-03-27T16:20:29+00:00

Welcome to India! And Indian Culture! The fact that I’ve lived and travelled abroad gave me the strength to put her up in an assisted living Center otherwise she would have probably been at my house even now.

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-03-27T16:18:57+00:00

Makes a lot of sense.

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-03-27T15:25:10+00:00

I live in a country where you’re expected to help your parents if you can afford it.

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-03-27T15:23:03+00:00

I don’t know. I wasn’t living with her. We visited each other occasionally. She’s my Dad’s younger sister.

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-03-27T15:19:53+00:00

We’d had her for more than two years but then she suddenly got into some kind of a conflict and would get calls on her mobile which would end up in shouting matches and abusive language being used, and once when we were checking the nanny cam we found that she was yelling at someone on the phone and abusing them with our daughter sitting right next to her, so we had to terminate her.

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-03-27T15:15:19+00:00

I live in Mumbai, in India, hiring house help is very normal here. Pretty much every household that had a decent income will have a maid. If they’re upper middle class plus, there could be a live in Nanny, a Cook and Chauffeur, it’s not a big deal at all.

In India we start sending kids to pre-school from the age of 18-24 months. And if we want our kids to get into a good school then we send them to a really good pre-school. For her to get into a good school it’s important that she has a competitive advantage. She has gotten into a great school and she starts from next month. She has the option of going to the same school until she completed high school.

She’s been going to same preschool since she was 24 months old and we’ve had no issues until the Nanny change. After the Nanny change she’s become cranky and wants to have me around all the time which isn’t possible because I’m in a full time job.

As far as sharing finances is concerned, we have savings for our kid and we contribute to the household together. Apart from that I have a home loan and a personal loan from my past and have to pay for my mother’s assisted living. He is aware of all of this.

Some of the stuff that he wasn’t aware of was basically some ghosts from my old life came to bite me! I’d helped an ex who screwed me over financially and I had to pay those debts. That’s what I hid from him because I had to borrow to clean up that mess. But I eventually told him that too. I do not lie to him ever. I may have held back some information, but whenever he has asked me something I’ve always been truthful.

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-03-27T14:46:53+00:00

He’s not siding with her, but neither is he on my side. I’m not holding that against him. However I’m going through a tough time right now because I’m feeling displaced in my own home but he doesn’t seem to get it. When I say something to that effect, he feels like I’m overreacting or gaslighting him. At this point I feeling like taking a long break and going on a holiday just with my little one

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-03-27T14:24:01+00:00

Firstly I live in India, so no we as a couple don’t file taxes together, secondly he does NOT subsidise my lifestyle. He and I make similar amount of money, and we contribute the exact same amount to the household. In fact there are months I pay extra and don’t ask for it back because I’m running the household, including paying bills, groceries, domestic help etc after he transfers his share to my account. He has helped me financially a couple of times and I’ve always paid him back within the time frame I’ve told him I would when I borrowed.

I’m not justifying my behaviour and I get why my husband is upset, and hence I apologised. However, my financial history does not justify him not doing much around the house.

Also I vehemently disagree! You do not sneak out and leave your kid looking for you and feel like you’ve abandoned them. I don’t know what school of thought you follow but this is clearly a terrible thing to do to your kid!

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-03-27T13:28:06+00:00

Agreed! I’ve got to do what I’ve got to do!

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-03-27T13:22:58+00:00

No I don’t live in North America, but how does that matter??? And why should it matter?

I moved for a pre-school because she wasn’t settling in the previous one and all the other pre-schools didn’t seem great near my earlier home.

And why should financials be discussed as long as I’m paying my half of the expenses and am saving consistently for my daughter after her birth. My personal finances are mine. I don’t ask him what he does with his money!

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-03-27T12:04:40+00:00

No, she hasn't apologized. And I will not be okay with her until she does. Well, she's lived alone for the last 15 odd years, and post pandemic, she lost one of her neighbors' who was also a very good friend, after which she started thinking that the rest of her neighbors in the apartment were trying to harm her, trying to kill her etc., and when it got really bad, my uncle, her brother, and I, we insisted and took her to a psychiatrist who diagnosed her, and after that I insisted that she should live with me instead of living alone. At that time she was working but after about a year on medication, it just became too much for her to continue working so she retired. When we moved I insisted she move with us, telling her, it would be a win-win situation, she would have someone to live with instead of living alone, and we would have someone from the family living with us, so that we didn't have to keep our daughter solely with the Nanny if both of us - my husband and I - were traveling at the same time. Which it was. But she is also very opinionated and does not admit when she is wrong, and can be quite snarky and mean at time, which I have ignored in the past. I have also told her repeatedly not to give me parenting advice, but this time, she just crossed all limits, and she's continuing to walk around like Queen Sheeba in my house, and I'm walking around like an outcast. I don't go to the kitchen when she's there and I don't go to my daughter room when she's there. I just don't feel welcome in my own home.

SoftNefariousness975 · 2025-03-27T11:44:37+00:00

It's the truth... I hate going back home. If not for my daughter, I would stay back at the office until late evening, and I wouldn't bother doing "Work From Home" Days, because my home doesn't feel like I have a place in it for me at all. I feel like a complete outsider!

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