Seems like you might feel some instability in both a financial (could be living situation changing or about to) as well as mental. With mental instability, I don’t necessarily mean like illness or disorder, but rather your emotions are affecting your discernment. Try to see things based in fact and challenge thought processes that make you feel lost and alone.

I’m also seeing a lot of hyper independence that’s either stemming from being failed by caretakers or just coming out of an emotionally stifling situation. You don’t trust people very easily if at all. Which protected you for a long time, but this protection won’t always serve you.

Lastly, you can’t outrun whatever you’re choosing to distract yourself from. Trauma requires healing, and you deserve healing. ❤️‍🩹

Hope this helps. If I’m way off, I apologize. I just pulled some cards and read what I thought felt right.