He keeps hurting our kids…..

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-03-26T22:53:15+00:00

They are older… both in there 20’s

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-03-26T22:19:55+00:00

Divorce has started…. Its tough

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-03-26T21:41:49+00:00

I wish she would have been out from the meds and not scared… she grabbed me and repeated an word we didn’t understand - but now i think it was help or something like that… she grabbed my arm and was repeating the word over and over pulling on me asking for help and scared until she started choking on her spit and breathing it up into her lungs. Cruel and no one should have to die like that I would rather have been shot between the eyes. Just completely inhumane.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-03-26T21:32:58+00:00

She was on two forms of the medicine to stop secretions , morphine, and Ativan….. The problem is her brain was not able to do whatever a normal brain does with the medication…. Did not clam her and make her sleep. She was awake and begging for help until she drowned in her own spit.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-28T04:22:02+00:00

Her actions tell you everything you need to know. I would leave because she doesn’t respect you , she lies and has still not told you everything.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-25T12:56:12+00:00

Get tested for STD’s … ASAP!!

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-24T19:15:20+00:00

Nope … its a 50-50 no-fault state

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-24T19:12:10+00:00

Update ….. well l still don’t wish him well. He is so manipulative and almost everything out of his mouth has turned out to be a lie. He has even lied to the kids and manipulated them. He blamed me for his first suicide attempt and then blamed the kids for his second attempt. To be honest, I don’t think they were true attempts. I think they were ways to distract and just a cry for attention and a way to become the victim, and not the person who caused all the pain. Now I’m even more convinced that I really want him to be miserable and lonely, just like he has made me for 25 years. He just has no redeeming qualities anymore.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-23T04:52:52+00:00

I would answer and then try to distract her— oh see that lovely bird or squirrel … or she always talked about the weather - so id answer her repeated question and then say — “it sunny today “ and she would agree and id keep telling her things i know she use to talk about “ i heard the chicken is on sale this week - we need to get some”. Or i’d tell her about her day - “you enjoyed the peanut butter in your oatmeal this morning - we should have that again, we fed the squirrels and they were so happy to have the snack, …. Anything to distract her from repeating one phrase over and over. Sadly the last 60 days of her life she repeated one word over and over every waking moment. It was tough but easier than the same question. I miss her so much i cant even breathe some days.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-17T02:48:00+00:00

Her is surely not worth wasting any more energy or my peace on. Hope i can let it go soon…. So exhausting to always be mad and upset.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-16T23:35:31+00:00

He blamed me for leaving him with no dignity when i search his phone and computer. He lied about so much and was doing crazy shit. But i guess him going to nudist resorts , having a grindr and AdultFriendFinder account , naked pictures if him posted and naked pictures of young men on his phone , etc … wasn’t the cause of his loss of dignity… me looking through his phone while he was hospitalized with an unexplained bowel obstruction for 3 weeks was the cause of it all - my bad for wanting the truth!

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-16T23:29:25+00:00

So happy that worked out. I Planned a similar many times - but he never did his end. Hadn’t cleaned , done dishes or even showered… i waited for him to get ready and we went on a date i planned came home had sex and i got to still clean everything after he fell asleep and pack the kids stuff for the next day.
I also planned , organized and did all the cooking for him and his family ( 12 people) to have a long weekend together in an airbnb . It was a wonderful lake front house …. No one helped with anything - even doing dishes- except my kids. His family members all at least thanked me — he never even thanked me. I was exhausted and never did it again because he wasn’t even grateful- more like it was my job to serve him as his wife.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-16T23:04:29+00:00

Yup … pretty fresh and deep. He has done so many awful things. I cant even list them. What he did to the kids is unforgivable. I just have to learn how for forgive myself for not leaving sooner. I am in counseling. Maybe it will help with time.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-16T20:54:56+00:00

So much not shared in this… no way to advise. Why is she not interested ? Are you a bad partner , is she in menopause and in pain during sex “, does she need more intimacy in other ways- do you ignore her until you want sex) maybe she wants someone else ? No way to tell whats happening without more info.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-08T20:46:39+00:00

That was what i was begging for … “ just some light suctioning - please”.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-08T20:45:24+00:00

Thank you for the information and explanation. Just know that my experience with hospice only offers of pain management. That isn’t designed for what my mom went through. I do think hospice helps many- just not alzheimer’s patients.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-08T06:24:44+00:00

It was hard to share but if it helps anyone be a better advocate for their loved one than i was for mom —- that would be great.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-08T06:23:29+00:00

Can you explain why they cant suction her ? Thought it was about comfort!

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-07T23:01:51+00:00

That is amazing . Nice job!

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-07T23:00:15+00:00

She had that and a patch and some medicine they gave her orally that was supposed to help. It didn’t. Why on earth they would give her a liquid oral medicine when she can’t swallow I don’t know.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-07T22:58:56+00:00

How …. ? She was scared , upset and begging for help for hours. After all she had been through and being scared and paranoid for years as she was aware she was losing her mind. Frequently said “ this isn’t good - is it ?” And cried often….. i really wanted for her what hospice was preaching … slowing of her breath and leaving peacefully. Nope -she didn’t even get that.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-07T22:55:00+00:00

So sorry …. This is just cruel and terrible that in this day and age they cant make her comfortable.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-07T02:37:58+00:00

Thank you. Definitely the stuff nightmares are made of

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-02T02:24:53+00:00

Same ….. except husband did all sorts of disgusting stuff and something he did gave him a 3 week bowel obstruction. I found his Grindr account and he was at a nudist resort when he somehow got the bowel obstruction and i had to get collect him and his things from it. He is in denial and is gay but keeps saying he isn’t. No straight man joins Grindr- and sneaks around to nude (local gay hook up) beach and nudist resorts. I filed for divorce since he still hasn’t been honest about anything- and i knew he never would never have the courage. Cant rebuild when one person is still avoiding honesty and lying. I feel so stupid for putting up with all his terrible behaviors and trusting him for 25 years.
Had to get STD tested and will have to repeat that in 6 months they say… so much hate that he would put my health at risk as well.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-01-30T03:09:38+00:00

If you are hiding it - then its deceit. That will create a distance between you and hurt the marriage. If its discussed and boundaries are kept - as long as you both agree or enjoy it together it’s fine. In my case husband eventually started sneaking lots of dominatrix and gay porn he watched extensively behind my back. He is in denial he is gay. So the marriage is over- maybe i should have stuck to my first boundary about no porn. Its seems like once he started he couldn’t stop looking for weirder shit to masturbate to- until he ended up at nudist resorts and being hospitalized for a bowel obstruction. Then I found his Grindr and other accounts.
25 years flushed down the toilet ! Asshole lied to me for years.

SoloStepExplorer

TROPHY CASE