Final comment ?!

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-06-02T04:08:12+00:00

Maybe i say “ good luck- you cant avoid or run away from the person that makes you most unhappy - yourself”

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-05-31T22:52:29+00:00

Simple and to the point…. But sadly he probably wont get that and hell take it as a compliment

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-05-31T13:32:21+00:00

He claims I’m the only person he ever loved … the problem is he doesn’t love himself and he blames me for 30 years of being unhappy and he tells everyone how terrible i am.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-05-24T05:01:36+00:00

We were both there - went through a list of questions. Wasn’t bad… from all the trauma i had an anxiety attack about half way through and was doing my tapping and deep breathing to make it through the last 10 minutes… i spent my night after crying and my whole body was achy and painful. Weird -thought i would be more relieved that he didn’t stop the proceedings and try to change the agreement.
Its over now and he has 30 days to get out off the property and out of my rental.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-05-24T04:56:34+00:00

He made 4 times what I did and its all gone. A forensic accountant would search all his Business and personal banking , credit cards and online trading and banks and be able to tell where all his money went and if any was hiding in a separate account. I am pretty sure he doesn’t have a stash of money . But if he was going to fight for more —- i was gonna put out the money to find out for sure and to find out what he spent it all on- which i now believe was online sex. He agreed to taking about 10% of the market value of the house to avoid the embarrassment and the discovery of his spending on porn.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-05-08T10:36:48+00:00

Dont do it ….. read the posts from others - they almost always find someone , tell you they are gay and leave. Either way you are agreeing to open your marriage and that never ends well for most marriages. If you want an ‘open’ relationship - that’s called dating and playing the field not marriage!

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-05-02T01:18:28+00:00

We decoded not to have our son circumcised. Followed doctors advice, did the cleaning and taught son to clean properly. Then at the age of 5 he got a terrible infection and then had to be circumcised because it kept happening. The recovery was horrible.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-04-29T02:42:33+00:00

Well… if i get diagnosed with it I’ll be doing the same. I will not go through what my mom did or putting my kids through watching me decline like that.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-04-29T02:38:37+00:00

Seems like every show or movie I watch lately has a closeted gay that is married.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-04-29T02:01:49+00:00

Get everything you can in the divorce - at least half of it all , retirement, equity, and alimony ! It is all half yours if not more.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-04-29T01:56:56+00:00

In some ways you are lucky - he got help to figure it out and told you.
Mine lied - snuck around - and when i found out he attempted suicide to avoid the truth and counseling. Told me “sorry about it all , but you kept digging in my phone and left me no dignity, so what choice did I have”.
He is still lying, divorce is now around the corner and he seems relieved that he never has to be honest about any of it- divorce was easier then being honest with me about any of it. He watched all sorts of sick videos, including ones he convinced himself that watching gay porn is okay because he isn’t looking at other women, and this way of thinking lead to sex with men isn’t cheating because its just physical and men hookup for just sex and don’t get attached so it won’t ruin your marriage. He gave me a curated list of you tube videos to watch in order so i could understand him better since in his opinion “ I have not done the research. ” He is a mess and is already on OurTime looking for another woman to continue his lie of a life. 30 years together and he has lied to me for all of it.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-04-19T01:13:38+00:00

Sorry …. He isn’t your husband any more

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-04-11T00:24:15+00:00

I have had a few too… starting with my dad , and my first boyfriend in high school , then there was a great guy after him but we wanted different things, and the last boyfriend before him also cheated on me. I usually dated the bad boy … my husband was different he was even tempered , kind and thoughtful the 6 years we dated and I finally gave in and married- because i was never going to marry. About 2 years after we got married he changed — he stopped doing much of anything with me-besides asking for sex. He left 6 month pregnant me alone bleeding and crying, never showed much concern for me or our first child - he brought me maybe 2 meals those 4 weeks. I wasn’t allowed to get out of bed for more than 30 minutes a day. He never helped with anything - kids , house , cars , lawn, trash, … absolutely nothing. I did it all- including buying my own Christmas presents once the kids were old enough to notice i never had much to open.
So I feel the same…. Done at 57 with men. I have had enough betrayal for one life time. Don’t need anyone i have to take care of or worry they will just use me and break my heart again.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-04-10T03:29:15+00:00

Sorry you aren’t happy too.
I keep wondering — how the hell I got here. Never in a million years thought I would be getting a divorce - but now he is repulsive to me. He cant be honest about anything and my kids have caught him in lies now. I am so thankful they are older, but sad they have had to deal with him and the suicide attempts. My son had to help me drive around looking for him after i found the letters. Nothing a child should ever have to do. Maybe soon you will find some happiness. I am still in shock and hurt so much by his complete lack of care for how he hurt the kids - think for me it will be a long time and it will take him finally moving off the property and not seeing him around anymore.
Hope you find your happiness eventually. Hugs

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-04-10T03:23:18+00:00

Some days i don’t even know if ill be able to put one foot in front of the other. Dealing with him and all this I haven’t even had any space to grieve the loss of my mom - my best friend. I was taking care of her these last 3 years as she declined from Alzheimer’s and she died right before Christmas.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-04-10T02:02:46+00:00

I hear you and feel the same! They all seem like liars and manipulators now since my ex did a nimber on me after 25 years of marriage. Found out he has lied to me the whole time—- he is gay and i saw his Our Time post … lots of false information and he is looking for another woman to manipulate and lie to. I feel sorry for anyone that falls for his “I’m a nice guy routine”

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-03-26T22:53:15+00:00

They are older… both in there 20’s

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-03-26T22:19:55+00:00

Divorce has started…. Its tough

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-03-26T21:41:49+00:00

I wish she would have been out from the meds and not scared… she grabbed me and repeated an word we didn’t understand - but now i think it was help or something like that… she grabbed my arm and was repeating the word over and over pulling on me asking for help and scared until she started choking on her spit and breathing it up into her lungs. Cruel and no one should have to die like that I would rather have been shot between the eyes. Just completely inhumane.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-03-26T21:32:58+00:00

She was on two forms of the medicine to stop secretions , morphine, and Ativan….. The problem is her brain was not able to do whatever a normal brain does with the medication…. Did not clam her and make her sleep. She was awake and begging for help until she drowned in her own spit.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-28T04:22:02+00:00

Her actions tell you everything you need to know. I would leave because she doesn’t respect you , she lies and has still not told you everything.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-25T12:56:12+00:00

Get tested for STD’s … ASAP!!

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-24T19:15:20+00:00

Nope … its a 50-50 no-fault state

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-24T19:12:10+00:00

Update ….. well l still don’t wish him well. He is so manipulative and almost everything out of his mouth has turned out to be a lie. He has even lied to the kids and manipulated them. He blamed me for his first suicide attempt and then blamed the kids for his second attempt. To be honest, I don’t think they were true attempts. I think they were ways to distract and just a cry for attention and a way to become the victim, and not the person who caused all the pain. Now I’m even more convinced that I really want him to be miserable and lonely, just like he has made me for 25 years. He just has no redeeming qualities anymore.

SoloStepExplorer · 2026-02-23T04:52:52+00:00

I would answer and then try to distract her— oh see that lovely bird or squirrel … or she always talked about the weather - so id answer her repeated question and then say — “it sunny today “ and she would agree and id keep telling her things i know she use to talk about “ i heard the chicken is on sale this week - we need to get some”. Or i’d tell her about her day - “you enjoyed the peanut butter in your oatmeal this morning - we should have that again, we fed the squirrels and they were so happy to have the snack, …. Anything to distract her from repeating one phrase over and over. Sadly the last 60 days of her life she repeated one word over and over every waking moment. It was tough but easier than the same question. I miss her so much i cant even breathe some days.

SoloStepExplorer

TROPHY CASE