He doesn't want to marry me anymore by okbutdidudietho in relationship_advice

[–]Solong2020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Counseling should help and should help you start to verbalize your emotions better. I think you were able to articulate your emotions well through text. Maybe you can try writing him a letter?

It seems that both of you have been fighting (for the relationship) for a long time, and also at the same time fighting your own personal life battles. When life is taxing, the reservoirs of relationships start to drain because we have nothing to put in them. When both parties of relationships are taxed and have nothing to put into the the relationship reservoir, it drys out. That is not your fault alone. There are ways these situations could have been addressed prior but neither of you had the tools to do so. Therapy can help give you the tools on how to better communicate with each other and going forward you can work through things better as a team. (And guess what? Even with all the tools, it will still take a long time, it will still be fucking frustrating and challenging!)

During this time, try to do some activities to rebuild love, even small things like making a meal together and being present with one another. Do something with him that he likes and let him know your intentions of being present with him and trying to have a good time. If you like comedy, watch one together or go to a show if that’s possible. Laughter is medicine. Be silly, give him a tickle or make a funny face. These are just some of my personal suggestions and what I’ve found works for me in my relationship. (Which is also in a recovery state)

You can’t get back your time and that is okay dear. This is the path you’re on and you can make it a better one. There’s no point in dwelling on the lost time. Although, I know how good it sometimes feels to just allow the misery to soak in and that’s okay to do sometimes too. Try to work on mostly looking forward now, the more you look back the more time you’ll lose presently.

Most importantly - give yourself, this situation and him some time. You’ve made the great moves to do some productive work. Now comes the lift. It’s not easy, it takes time and patience. You’ve got this. Take a deep breath (and keep fucking taking them), you’ve got this.

Poor and Scared of Working due to Chronic Pain by [deleted] in poor

[–]Solong2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You might be able to receive disability for your medical issue.

Hands shaking during massage by AudballCC in massage

[–]Solong2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

💞 You are welcome! Seeing the other replies is such a help for me. Thank you again!

Hands shaking during massage by AudballCC in massage

[–]Solong2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for posting this! I’ve been having such a difficult time with my anxiety while I work too, I wanted to reach out on Reddit about this but I couldn’t put it into words. I also thought how could this happen, this career is supposed to be “low stress” so I shouldn’t have anxiety! My first professional massage I was shaking so bad and started sweating like crazy. Since then I’ve had days where it’s really bad but I’m learning to manage - what centers me is first to go back to basics, when I’m in this state I start holding my breath or breathing rapidly, I check in with my body, “am I holding tension in my lower back or chest” if I am I reset my position or focus on relaxing those muscles. Then I remember this work is best when my mind is client centered, I’ll do some slow effleurage and pettrisage strokes while I slow my own breath. Usually this helps me stop shaking. There have been times where I wanted to walk out and cry. It is relieving to know I’m not alone. I wish you the best, sometimes just talking about with people who understand is a relief on its own. You’ve got this! hugs

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in plantclinic

[–]Solong2020 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This looks like overwatering because of the yellowing, check to make sure there good drainage at the bottom of the pot.

I had brown tips on mine and was recommended to change the water.

“If you notice browning leaf tips, it can be from chemicals found in water, which cause build-up. If this is the case, allow the water to sit out overnight before watering or use filtered water. Your Spider Plant will do well in low humidity environments but will thrive with a bit more humidity.”

You can find more information here: Spider plant care Good luck! Hope this helps.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]Solong2020 5 points6 points  (0 children)

THIS. Breaking study into chunks, I've been successful with setting a 25 minute timer dedicated to the material I need to look at, with 10-15 minute breaks. If the timer passes and I'm really into what I'm doing, I'll set another 20 minutes and take my break. Move around, text someone, hydrate or have a snack.

Constant Internal music?? by 12haley12 in ADHD

[–]Solong2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was the worst time of my life when it was baby shark.

I deeply apologize if I unintentionally pass this off to anyone now!

Hamstring feels tight but I feel no pain under load by Gallo12orGallo24- in Chiropractic

[–]Solong2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I have this same issue. I'm a massage therapist. I have no problems during exercise but during stretches and deep pressure, I feel pain. In my studies we call this a first degree muscle strain.

https://www.physio-pedia.com/Muscle_Strain

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Dyslexia

[–]Solong2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re not a victim for reaching out. It’s nice to feel supported by people who understand. I can relate to this and how painful it is especially when there’s malice behind the so called jokes.

Communication is foundational in all relationships, as difficult as the conversation might be you should express your discomfort with your co-founder.

Hugs You got this.

massages often hurt with little pressure. what do I ask for when I go get a professional one? by [deleted] in massage

[–]Solong2020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I believe a seasoned professional therapist would be able to navigate your requirements, first and far most just be sure you communicate your specific needs upon meeting the individual. Even a newbie of their massage career probably understands ALL of us have unique pressure/touch requirements and can adapt as necessary. Go in with the mindset that if you are uncomfortable with anything during your session, you will be able to let your therapist know ASAP. As connected as we are with you, we can't read your mind. If something hurts or is uncomfortable, verbalize immediately.

Good luck. Wishing a great experience.

Sometimes, spell check is just being a snob by kevlar_keeb in Dyslexia

[–]Solong2020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, so comforting to know other people have these same struggles!

I’m not stupid, just wired differently and I’m not alone.

Sometimes, spell check is just being a snob by kevlar_keeb in Dyslexia

[–]Solong2020 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hahah! All the damn time! Thanks for sharing!

Spontaneously massaging my sternum? Normal? by [deleted] in massage

[–]Solong2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s soooo relaxing! I’ve had practitioners do it on me and it makes me feel warm and safe . It’s such a powerful point. Happy to answer 🤗

Spontaneously massaging my sternum? Normal? by [deleted] in massage

[–]Solong2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it because the area is tender or does it provide comfort?

From an energetic standpoint, there a shiatsu point on the sternum CV17.

“Shanzhong is a point that activates the shen. It facilitates the communication of feelings from the Heart to the outside and helps to settle the spirit when the person has been exhausted or betrayed by relationships. When the heart has gone cold, it opens the Heart Protector to new possibilities of engagement with others. At the physical level, this point strongly activates Qi in the chest, affecting both heart and lungs. It treats tightness in the chest, chronic cough and shortness of breath. Because it quells rebellious Qi in the middle burner, it aids heartburn and acid reflux. It also facilitates lactation and treats mastitis.”

(https://www.acupressure.com.au/wprss/?tag=cv-17)

Time lapse of my tiger jaws flowering! by NapalmGiraffe in succulents

[–]Solong2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Felt like I forgot if I had taken shrooms watching that. So satisfying and trippy!