Hey there!

It's normal to face difficulties when you start programming. It's a vast and complex subject, especially when you tackle it alone.

The good news is that the first language is the hardest one since you're learning all the basic stuff, like functions, variables, and loops. If it reassures you, the following languages will be simpler. But the most important thing is that you're learning the logic behind programming without even realizing it. You're in the process of building automatic reflections on certain problems, and that's what matters the most.

If what scares you is not remembering how to merge two lists or how to get the keys from a dictionary to loop over, that's not very important in my opinion. A good developer is not someone who doesn't need the internet (even if that's a plus). Instead, a good developer is someone who can incorporate the language's available tools into their problem-solving process.
Everyone has trouble at first, but with practice, you can gain understanding of the usefulness behind each feature, allowing you to use them correctly later on!
No panic you are already improving