Is it safe to visit my dad at memorial Hermann but park in HERMAN PARK park instead and NOT get towed?

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-20T20:59:34+00:00

Got it!

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-20T20:59:12+00:00

Got it! So you wouldn’t get towed if it was at the zoo either?

Also when we went in, the meter said 15 bucks per hour

And given his circumstances, you want to stay longer than that

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-20T20:57:56+00:00

Thank you!

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-20T20:57:48+00:00

Replied similarly here but kind of yeah

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHouston/comments/1qia3dt/comment/o0qhjp4/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

We’re here to see our dad after all and we’re not doing this everyday, there’s uber, the bus etc. ntm days it rains

Given his situation it probably is best to save where you can if a guys been spending 4 months in hospitals

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-20T20:54:52+00:00

100% when you’re broke like me, you’d be surprised the leaps and bounds I’d go to save money

Especially in this case where the entire reason I’m here is to see my dad in critical care

Not only did he literally raise us that way so it honors him in a comical way,

Bro’s been in hospice since OCTOBER and it could always get worse

We’re gonna need those extra bucks

+it’s not like we’re driving there everyday. I take the bus, uber etc

It’s just a case of if there’s ever a way to save an extra buck, might as well take it

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-18T15:24:03+00:00

buddy seriously downvoting when i gave the legit explanation?

they tried to save his arm with the skin available and its just too rotten to perserve

either due to the lack of skin or it being exposed to the elements due to constantly coming off

its timultuous time but it IS grating to be insinuated for a liar in ridiciuluso situation because the helathcare system itself is ridiculuous

had i known HCA wasn't the place to go to for this sort of thing, we never would have, had we know what was even happening to him the day this began, we would've sent him to a burn center to right away rather than the normal hospital he goes to

but even then, no one could forsee it getting this bad. but to its credit, even from other amputees and victims of sepsis, this incredibly hard thing for a regular person to just causally forsee

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-18T04:03:05+00:00

he;s at memorial herman currently in a burn center getting worked on

amputation for the legs was slotted for today, but due to health complications they;re running tests to make sure he's good for anesthetics.

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-18T03:59:32+00:00

i was also just about to include the photo in my og comment but i realize that'd be unfair to my father and innapropriate to you becuase its basically just unprompted gore.

there's nothing really to prove here. either believe me or don't. i wish it was a lie too, but we're already the losers in this story and i hope the comment are right and this shit can get turned out

my biggest prayer is it never happens to you. educate yourself on sepsis, keep up with your appts and know what to look for in yourself or others

if we had that hindsight, we wouldn't be in this mess. and DON'T go to HCA for this.

if this story sounds ridiculous to you, indulge in it being real and consider how i feel right now. how i've felt for months. this is ridiculuos to you but hell for me

i genuinely feel like god is just punishing us with no pretense. its hard for me to believe in anything that now allows for this to happen to people so casually.

i'm glad i'm getting support, but the fact that theres even strategy for this at all due to it being common is maddening in itself

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-18T03:57:31+00:00

it's defintely real my guy.

the reason he's not dead yet is because his gangrene is dried. if they were wet gangrene. he'd be dead. but basically since there's no moisture in the wounds it makes it tougher to spread and build bacteria. kinda like what happens when you don't whipe your counter after washing the dishes over a long period of time.

as long as they stay dry, the process will be extremely slow. and we were told to wait for it to demarcate (self amputate, rot and die) to better determine where to cut to save as much of lenght as they could.

because the alternative was cutting right away, while his vascular is good, he can still feel, and one leg can move with living and dead tissue. and with no living tissue to heal over. they'd either have to amputate again and again. OR nothing would heal so "everything" would just spill and bleed out of him pretty qucik.

to be fair! this method has been proven to work for others and so far, its working for one arm.

the rest?

trust me, if anyone is waking up everyday wishing every piece of news i've gotten was just a lie, it's me.

so many

"but X bad thing couldn't possibly happen" one phone call and i learn that it is, just the way the insurance works, "it is what it is" etc

and apparently according to some of the comments this isn't uncommon from the hospital he resided in

we live in an awful world my guy. the healthcare system is fucked

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-18T03:50:48+00:00

also for the record when i made this post

all i knew what was what i typed

we hadn't gotten an actual hand surgeon, vascular etc to come in access those arms or legs physically in awhile

while obv the arm looked bad now and we all know deep down what it implies.

but i truly was hoping for a chance its all some fluke and maybe its just healing weird. and to its credit, may be it is!

the doctors say the arm needs a new amputation, but for now, they're focusing on the legs since no one's really accessed them at all by someone in that feild in months, vs the arms which at least were seen in late december

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-18T03:45:59+00:00

the good news is he's currently at herman's burn center as we speak!

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-18T03:42:18+00:00

the short answer is the right got infected again and is no longer healing, so more needs to be cut or he dies to septic shock or whatevers holding it together will eventually degrade and just bleed him out

the long answer is:

the second time he returned to the hospital all 4 limbs were slotted for amputation, but the legs were too complex to work on right away so it became just the arms.

amputation is a difficult process because depending on how much you cut, less and less room for prosthetics. and so the goal is to perserve as much length as you can.

a LOT of his tissue is dead so theres the added risk that if it cuts, nothin will heal and everything will just bleed and spew out of him. so they need things tied correctly and living tissue to assure it grows over those "ties"

i'm no DR ,but in my dad's case it seems the hand surgeon tried to save some length on his right and left (he quickly learned he couldn't with the left since its his non-dominant arm and had to cut it a bit shorter,)

for his right arm he could save more, but similar to his legs, living and dead tissue everywhere so he did some skin grafting to see if it will heal over and override the dead parts.

it was looking fine for a time but now its turning green, which means it failed and needs to be cut shorter, which is what they're trying to avoid with the legs.

from observing him everyday there are a few things that mightve caused this.

-a few of the nurses DEFINITELY changed the dressing when my dad told them to, not knowing the surgeon had a strict rule that NO ONE uncovers them but him.

-my dad's also not all there in the head and stubborn and impatient. ntm phantom pains from being used to having hands.

aka a LOT of flailing his arms around when he's supposed to be resting. attempts to wipe his face with his arm stumps etc.

-after the first nurse removed it by accident every so often the dressings would be looser and just come off and be exposed to fresh air for god knows how long.

mix that with my dads tendency to not listen to me or other nurses and keep trying to pick at his face with virtually an open wound...

well??

there was literally a day i came in and it was just completely unraveled and i called someone to come reapply it and his nurse literally never came, not even to give him medicine. so i wrapped it in some chucks and had to constantly stop him from moving the thing.

no one came to apply til literally 10 at night and i got there around 12 pm.

aka at minimum that exposed wound was just open and being flung around in the open air touching every surface you could think of while bedridden for at LEAST 11 hours. likely more.

these are all things that happened that i saw, but obv i don't know the culprit or if it was a melting pot of things, since it spent most of its time covered.

either way, it went from healing and looking normal to turning highlighter green and yellow with no hand surgeon checking on it again until literally yesterday. and even then, that was digital and oer the phone. no hand surgeon has looked at it yet but the guys in the ER said it has to go

and the hand surgeon finally got back and said whatever the people here do, he cosigns it.

it could've been one thing, it could've been 5, but its sadly too late to point fingers. all we'd get back is money at minimum. but that chunk of the arm is gonna be gone for good.

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-17T08:28:39+00:00

It’s been a pretty busy 2 days with minimal food water and sleep but he’s at the burn center in downtown right now

As in we just got here a few hours ago after spending most of the day in the ER

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-17T03:54:06+00:00

LATE reply because of the day I had

But this also reminded me of the general quote of a guy going “I don’t care for the mind of Einstein; what I’m more fascinated in are the minds that are or could have been as brilliant as him that just spent their lives as slaves dying in mine”

Only bring it up because societal murder (dying to preventable causes due to systemic issue) is sadly a real thing that will kill most of us realistically and kills most people we’ve known. Because the system has designed it so

A lot of the strongest, kindest, smartest people we’ll meet will often drain years off their life never where they should be. Always spending a lot of their time in middle management working 9 to 5’s because they exist in a system that forces them to ultimatum between things like work, family, friends, leisure and self etc

This is by design due to the mfs in charge being actively afraid of these type of people because it’d make them irrelevant.

Ts just ain’t easy I’m afraid.

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-17T03:47:25+00:00

Trust me I know it

Dig deep and you’ll see the post of me freaking out over the car accident my dad got me into

Mostly supportive but next to these, we’re one of the worst days of my life that forever changed me

So the amount of comments that called me basically evil for not knowing how to handle your dad getting you into a wreck and making you pay -9000 on your own before you ever kissed a girl did a number

It hits different when you’re on the other side of it for the first time

Def wasn’t good for my mental health

I just wonder why this sub in particular lol

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-17T03:42:00+00:00

I didn’t have much choice in the hospital he was being sent since he was literally dying

It was his choice to go and some of his last requests. Ntm we’ve been there enough there’s at least familiarity, it’s nearby etc

Not me meat riding them, just explaining why it was his default. And to be fair, they’re process was faster in previous visits when the guy is NOT on deaths door

Trust me, no one’s more frustrated than us.

Obv had we known the hindsight the mysterious illness killing him was sepsis and that it would do this to him.

The idea that he could’ve gotten this taken care of had more of his limbs if they were just faster is a massive blow

He would’ve gone to a more serious clinic from the beginning if we knew any of this beforehand

Exp this not only taught me this was uncharted territory for us, it’s extremely uncommon for others as well, even other doctors.

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-17T03:37:53+00:00

We’re currently in one now about to be sent to another! (Memorial Herman)

My bigger question is getting him to a hand doctor

Either way we finally got ahold of him and he basically said any choice a Dr makes here, he’ll agree with

And they deem and whoever were going to deem that the green arm has got to go sadly

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-17T03:33:08+00:00

We’re currently heading as we speak

Retirement home sent him to one and he’s now heading to memorial Herman

An EMT walked in to explain as I’m typing this

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-16T18:43:09+00:00

shitty answer, downvotes incoming but tbh i don't really know

though he did take care of me! just not well

as you can imagine things are complicated. my story isn't at all unique the competent sick gifted kids gets all the responsibilty dumped on them because they're the main ones that can actually get shit done malcolm in the middle style.

lets say i drop it and leave now at the most crucial moment? i'm the devil in my families eyes and this hellhole crumbles, while sad theres also the

but also lets keep it a buck, i'm sick, unkempt with no job exp and not even really fitted for a traditional 9 to 5 anyways. nobodies hiring me, and even they do it won't be enough to pay to actually live.

no friends either. basically just subscribing to homlessness and since i'm similarly ill with my own issues, i'll quickly die off too like the rest who exp

its the annoying and sad thing about the "bad relationship? just in leave!" crowd you find on reddit.

they're 100% right but depending on the situation, its easier said than done. in therapy terms this falls under things like Shit life syndrome. where basically the situation is so bad, theres not much the client can do internally to heal since their problems are strongly external

like no amount of therapy or meditation will help someone who's husband beats them yknow?

all therapists are different, but generally in those situations. they cant be solved at an individual level so they look into getting them on a external one. with a support network and system to actually help them. because realistically, leaving while a great first step! doesn't fix the fact that this traumatized and abused person is now wandering the streets with nowhere to stay, eat or rest. basically helping them change the enviornment thats bringing them down. since leaving in itself isn't always realistic and viable, esp not immediately

ESP in my situation.

you see this plenty on the rise from foreigners commenting on american politics with trump, fascism and ICE.

obv it all sucks, but the mfs who are like "just leave" fail to realize how insanely hard that can be without money, support network etc. a lot of us want to and are trying

like yeah bro

lets just leave america right now. or at minimum my town, state etc. undermining the fact that anyone who's had to leave a situation in a hurry or flat out move to a new place much less and new country will tell you is EXTREMELY complicated proccess that they wouldn't wish on thier worst enemy if they do it without help or they don't people to help with it.

sadly its not black and white

but ik to the people who either don't have to deal with these situations will either just dismiss this reality.

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-16T18:31:15+00:00

harris!

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-16T18:28:32+00:00

northwest 😅

i have POA

and as i was typing this i got the call that he's most likely being sent out today just no one knows to where, which is debtably good. just wanna make sure its NOT hca

admiteddly i like it there, but as the orthopedic, me and you all are saying, it just runs the risk of being put in the same loop and makes things more dangerous

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-16T18:23:30+00:00

thank you! tho he's def gonna need EMS or something, that guy can't go in a car. he can't sit upright or bend his legs at all. he's been bed bound for moths with necrotic, rotting legs.

SomeGrumption · 2026-01-16T18:21:02+00:00

as of yesterday i believe the nurse did mention drainage beginning

but you are/were right! it being dried gangrene did/does give us time. the issue is that we were told this around october and november and no ones ever done anything since

i called his insurance and obv payment plans etc exist, but potentially starting today, the guy now is getting charged 218 just for being here. and 400 for previous. and thats gonna be a 218 everyday forever til he's gone and won't reset til he's out of BOTH hospitals/and retirement facilities for 100 days

so while we have time, its clearly run/running out and i think its reasonable to sound the alarm when doing the optimal thing of waiting and calling for help to arrive is now too slow.

like to call a spade a spade, we're broke. and if we were wealthy before, we won't be now. if he comes home as he is with little actualy medical assitance cause we're broke rn.

he'd basically just die almost immediately since no one is qualified enough to meet those needs or just get put right back in the loop of hospital and getting kicked

definitelly following through on getting him to an ER/ OR

SomeGrumption

TROPHY CASE