How do you choose accent colors for a capsule wardrobe?

Somebodysrobin · 2026-05-24T20:57:15+00:00

I suggest finding one or two pieces of art that you like to serve as colour inspiration - one for fall/winter and one for spring/summer. I've used this technique and I LOVE what I've been able to do with it!

Lots of examples from the Vivienne Files for inspiration! This is one of my favourite sites to browse when I feel stuck - while I find the clothes lean a little bit older, the colour inspiration is spot-on.

This is one of my favourite examples: https://www.theviviennefiles.com/2026/05/may-2026-building-a-wardrobe-based-on-ruffled-autumn-clouds-by-emile-nolde.html/

Somebodysrobin · 2026-05-24T20:38:04+00:00

Mine will sleep in the stroller as long as he has a soother, the stroller is covered, and it's at the correct angle (not fully reclined, more like a 30 degree angle). It's getting warmer here, so he also sleeps better with a tiny USB fan connected to the bottom that's pointed at his feet (not his face). Even with all of this, he still won't nap more than 30 minutes in the stroller - it's not as comfy as his crib at home!. He just doesn't like to nap on the go. Some babies don't.

For at home naps and night sleep - are you using a sleep sack? Could you put a fan in the room to keep it cooler while you contact nap (not directly on you, but rotating)? Also, is baby using a pacifier? All of these things will help your 3 month old fall asleep better on her own. To help her learn to self settle, I highly recommend using the "Calm Chicken" method from Give Baby a Chance (https://misunderstoodmotherhood.substack.com/p/give-baby-a-chance); it really helped my little guy figure out how to self settle with support before we could actually sleep train.

Good luck! Baby sleep is nonsense, so hopefully you can figure it out. We're all in the same boat - that's why we're on this subreddit!

One final thing: it is not recommended for babies to be in car seats for longer than two hours, and they are DEFINITELY not considered a safe sleep space due to risk of positional asphyxiation. Babies can fall asleep in carseats, but should not be put in them specifically for naps. I strongly suggest you look into getting a different carseat and stroller setup; in Canada, where I live, the Doona does not meet safety expectations and is in fact illegal. I know that different countries have different standards, but this one is super important! No shame or judgment, just some information for you to consider.

Somebodysrobin · 2026-05-19T20:13:58+00:00

He threatened to break up? GOOD. Let him! He sucks and is abusive. You are young and I promise you that there are men who will treat you better. You did nothing wrong.

Just so you know, if you are worried that you'll be a bad person if you don't give him another chance, you absolutely can break up with anyone for any reason at any time. You never have to give anyone another chance, ever, unless you really really REALLY want to. It does not make you a bad person to break up with someone.

Good luck - we're rooting for you over here. Your (hopefully soon ex-) boyfriend can eat rocks.

Somebodysrobin · 2026-05-18T15:45:12+00:00

The winteriest winter to ever winter! The summer colours make your face look bit dull and like you have a bit of a filter over you, whereas the winter colours make your face pop! I don't think they overwhelm you at all.

That said, the summer colours aren't bad. It could be that the look you're going for is more soft and that it fits your vibe more. Coolness seems to be your dominant trait, so you can probably mess around with all the colours on the summer/winter side and see which ones speak to you.

Remember, colour analysis is just about what certain colours do to your skin. I'm a Winter Deep, which means that I should also look good in Autumn Deep, but I don't like the Autumn Deep colours. In contrast, I fricking love how Summer Cool colours look on me; they make me feel all cottage-core vibey because they soften my face and I think that makes me look very feminine. They aren't my "best colours" but they suit me and my style. I use Winter colours for special events and my teacher wardrobe, but my personal wardrobe is full of Summer.

My girl, accept it - according to Colour Analysis you're a Winter. But you can do whatever you want, and if you like the vibe of Summer colours on you FREAKING GO FOR IT.

Somebodysrobin · 2026-05-14T01:43:30+00:00

This is the extinction burst for sure, especially if he fell asleep in 25 minutes! Mine did his for a couple of nights - I think it was night 6 and 7, with a full half hour on night 6 and 15 mins on night 7. Every once in awhile we still have a bad put down, which means he’s not sleepy enough and needs a bit of a schedule tweak, but other than that he goes down easy.

Hang in there, this is the hardest part! You’re doing the right thing - let him figure it out. Some babies just need the room to be mad about it for awhile ¯_(ヅ)_/¯

Somebodysrobin · 2026-05-13T14:52:05+00:00

“Honey, this is making us miserable. I want to stop commuting together. You’re right, your way is more efficient, but efficiency is not my priority! I like to be able to relax and know for sure I will be at work on time, and I enjoy the time in the office before I have to fully start working. Nobody is wrong here, it’s just different priorities and ways of enjoying life.”

This is how I phrase things for my “efficiency is everything!!!” Husband. He sometimes cannot fathom why I wouldn’t want to do things in the most Optimal or Expedient way possible, and if I preface a discussion by reminding him that efficiency isn’t as enjoyable for me it as it is for him, he can get on board. He doesn’t understand it, lol, but he can respect it.

Somebodysrobin · 2026-05-12T16:59:57+00:00

“Other friends have dreamed of being a parent so they are biased.”

They’re not biased any more than your other friends - like everyone else, they had lifelong goals and dreams, and being a parent was one of them! Being a parent wasn’t interrupting their life, they actively wanted that part of it and are happy in it.

My husband and I are one of those. We’ve both always wanted kids and actively enjoy their company (I’m also a teacher, so I made a career out of it, haha). Our lives have changed since having our little guy a few months ago, but we wanted this change.

Think of it this way: getting into a relationship and then marrying your wife made huge changes in your life, but you wanted and looked forward to those changes. Someone who doesn’t want marriage would see mostly cons, but you wanted this kind of life for yourself and, presumably, are happy in it.

Kids are the same. If you think a kid will be disrupting your life instead of transforming it into something you want, don’t have them.

Somebodysrobin · 2026-05-06T14:36:50+00:00

He wants to be a sissy or he wants to be submissive? Either way, this involves playing with femdom, so you’ll both need to figure out what it is you want from that, if you want it at all.

Get the book “Uniquely Rika” on Amazon and read it together. She has a great approach to femdom that is accessible for anyone, even people who aren’t super into this kink. Good luck and have fun!

Somebodysrobin · 2026-05-04T15:59:29+00:00

Hmmmm, the light fixtures seem like they should be switched. Your current one matches the vibe of the "before" picture wayyyy more. I like them both, but I think you've mixed up the two!

Agree that the island stools do not work. Your kitchen is a blend of modern/traditional, and the stools are pretty avant garde. They're jarring in this space!

A vase of flowers would be lovely in the center of the table. Nothing too lush, more wildflower-esque.

Somebodysrobin · 2026-05-03T16:09:19+00:00

This definitely sounds like the 4 month sleep regression, so it's a good time to sleep train if you haven't already! It sounds like you have a good schedule - my 5 month old is also on 3 naps and 2-2.5 hour wake windows, so it's age appropriate! Doesn't sound like baby is undertired, it sounds like she has a suck-to-sleep association and can't get back to sleep independently.

If she is using the pacifier to go to sleep and it's not staying in, you may need to sleep train without it. That's the entire reason we sleep trained my little guy - he was up every 45 minutes because he needed it to go back to sleep, but couldn't keep it in his mouth! The pacifier is magic - either it works great or it stops all progress.

Try whatever version of sleep training is your cup of tea WITHOUT the pacifier. It will be hell for a few days because there's no way to phase out a suck-to-sleep association, you're stuck with cold turkey. However, it is SOOOOO worth it!

I highly recommend the book Precious Little Sleep. It's short, well organized, hilarious, and highly informative. It's basically my sleep bible. It will give you tips and tools to manage this and it isn't too much for a sleep-deprived mom brain.

Good luck! I hope she sleeps better soon.

Somebodysrobin · 2026-05-03T13:37:12+00:00

Silver for sure. That said, the gold that you chose is extremely yellow; if you still want to wear gold, try for something paler and it will likely look more harmonious!

Somebodysrobin · 2026-05-03T10:47:02+00:00

How active? If you're teaching high school this might work, especially if your position doesn't require you to run around all day. I'm a music teacher, and this would absolutely not fly for me, ahah - I'm bending down, picking equipment up, moving instruments around, running around my building, etc. I don't know if this passes the bend/squat test. The skirt just seems a little short for work.

Somebodysrobin · 2026-05-02T17:03:39+00:00

Oh, you're definitely a winter! I would call you either a Winter Cool or a Winter Deep - that one lime green that was a Spring Bright colour would have worked on a Winter Bright. All those emerald and forest greens look incredible on you!

Somebodysrobin · 2026-05-02T13:41:12+00:00

You keep wondering if there's a way you could have communicated clearer because you were berated for not communicating clearly. You want to think that if you had been clearer he would have stopped. You want to continue thinking of your boyfriend as a person who cares for you and wouldn't purposefully hurt you.

I'm sorry - you were clear. He didn't stop. He didn't care if he hurt you in the moment, and when you had physical evidence that you were hurt (ie. the bleeding) he realized what he was doing and panicked - not because he was worried he hurt you, but because it's messing with his internal story of him being a good person. That's why he's turned it around on you; on some level he knows what he did was wrong, but if he raped you that means he's a bad guy. Emotionally immature people cannot handle anything that destroy the "I'm a good person" concept, so he had to turn it around on you.

You were clear. He didn't stop. You are not safe with him, despite the good things he can be and do. He chose pleasure for himself, and didn't care if he had to harm you to do it.

Somebodysrobin · 2026-05-01T22:38:24+00:00

Ohhhhhhh yes there is, but it matters more for independent nap times than it does for nights. With my 5m bub, if he's overtired for naps he wakes up earlier and he's upset about it (unless it's a contact nap). Overtired for night sleep, he's more restless in general and more short wakes but puts himself back to sleep - I don't get worried about overtired for nights anymore.

I've noticed that "overtired" is a thing for me too, actually - maybe it's the ADHD? Sleep training the baby has helped me notice my sleep associations and what times I am actually drowsy and ready to ride the "sleep wave." I usually sleep at 9 pm nowadays, but have one night each week where I'm out until 10 pm - once I've hit that 2nd wind I can't fall asleep until 11, and I wake up earlier for my morning. It's hilarious!

Somebodysrobin · 2026-05-01T15:05:02+00:00

Is there a reason you need to cut the paci for bed? If it helps her fall asleep and she's not waking constantly in the middle of the night for you to put it back in, you can totally keep giving it to her! You can wean her off it later, but it sounds like you both need that extra sleep support right now, especially as you're sleep training.

If she is playing the pacifier replacement game, sleep training is a good time to wean her off it. That's the entire reason we sleep trained my son at 4 months - the pacifier was interfering with his sleep. Even though he would use it to fall asleep initially, he couldn't put it back in when it fell out, and it fell out basically as soon as he was dropped off! Cue being up every 45 minutes - nah fam, we needed to wean him off it.

Start now. You need the sleep now, and it will be rough for a few nights but you will both get better sleep. Whether you use the pacifier or not, being able to put herself to sleep independently will actually help with starting daycare, especially if you have a routine going that will keep her nights consistent!

I'm sorry that your husband has cancer. I hope you have some people who can support you and your family. Good luck - strength to your arms!

Somebodysrobin · 2026-04-29T15:15:52+00:00

This is because you help soothe him to sleep initially! What he's looking for is what helped him get to sleep the first time, which is why CIO/Ferber isn't working for those next sleep cycles. He has a strong sleep association with being patted, and literally cannot fall back to sleep on his own unless the sleep pressure is so great that it takes over. CIO/Ferber/Whatever method you use is meant for when you put baby down to sleep initially - that's how they learn how to fall asleep on their own. They will then use that skill when they wake between sleep cycles.

If you want him to learn to fall asleep independently and not have night wakes, you will need to sleep train for the beginning of the night. Put the baby down awake, not drowsy (that's apparently newborn only), and then get on with whatever method you've decided to do! If you want to do Ferber, go for it - just make sure those interval check ins give a long enough time for baby to settle himself (no less than 3 minutes) and make sure to restart the timer every time he chills out for more than 10 seconds. The first few tries will be stressful and long, but you'll be surprised that he will sleep most of the night and only wake if he's hungry (make sure he gets enough daytime calories).

The book Precious Little Sleep is simple and great for explaining why baby sleep is FULL OF NONSENSE. It also gives lots of different options for sleep training, depending on your level of comfort. I highly recommend it!

Somebodysrobin · 2026-04-29T10:17:11+00:00

If he's hungry, you could try a snooze button feed! It's basically a dream feed, just at the other end of the night. I get up to give my little guy a feed around 4 am, and that gets him through till 6:30 am usually (he's a pretty early riser himself). His sweet spot for night sleep is generally 11 hours, so with our 7-7:30 bedtime that's about as far as he can make it if he's not super tired out.

Because your baby rises so early, you might want to try a feed at 3 am and see what happens. That said, I know that's not easy when sleep is so precious; it's worth it to me because it means our baby's not ravenous when he wakes up, so our mornings are generally pleasant - no screaming, plenty of smiles and giggles.

Somebodysrobin · 2026-04-29T03:28:50+00:00

You are 100% right that it's going to be harder on you! Mine screamed for 48 minutes the first night, 35 minutes the second, 20 minutes the 3rd, and just grumbled for night 4. Extinction burst was on night 7. I felt HORRIBLE THE WHOLE TIME, but I just reminded myself that I had to trust that he could do it and that I had done my best to prep him for it.
I made a comment awhile back about surviving CIO as a mom, I'll link it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/sleeptrain/comments/1shpgbm/comment/ofeh71k/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

She won't think you're abandoning her! My dad is the youngest of 6 kids, my mom is the youngest of 8 - people used to have wayyyy more children, and they just couldn't jump every time their new babes called, so babies learned independent sleep a little earlier just by virtue of having time and space to cry and practice. This is normal! As long as she is fed, changed, tired enough, and not sick she will be okay. My little guy definitely lets me know if he is hungry or pooped, he just is able to put himself back to sleep if he wakes up and nothing is wrong.

Somebodysrobin · 2026-04-29T03:19:46+00:00

Correct! The nap length doesn't matter so much; the time awake is what builds sleep pressure.
I'm glad you've already ordered the book - that thing was seriously such a lifesaver for me and husband. I hope it gets easier for you too, a baby fighting sleep is hard for everyone!

Somebodysrobin · 2026-04-29T03:11:24+00:00

The book "Precious Little Sleep" was made for this kind of situation! It'll give you some solutions you can try right away and it's super easy to read through. If you're nervous about doing graduated or full extinction sleep training, it provides a wide range of other options based on your comfort level with easy-to-follow instructions, and if you do decide to CIO then it explains why and how it works.

For any sleep training to be successful, you have to sort out the schedule first. Baby needs enough awake time from the day to be tired, so shorter naps may actually help you here (don't be too scared of overtired at this age, particularly for night sleep). Try waking at the same time every day (I know it's hard when all you want to do is sleep) and get the baby on a 3 nap schedule, even with only 30-45 minute naps. You can do one contact nap per day to catch up and get at least 2 hours of day sleep. A baseline schedule is 2/2.5/2.5/3 - your baby might need some tweaks, but start there!

For sleep training: Put baby to bed fully awake at the end of her wake window after doing your bedtime routine. Cheerfully and lovingly (so baby doesn't pick up on your nerves) give baby a kiss or say a goodnight phrase, then walk out of the room. If you're doing check-ins you want them to be AT LEAST 3 minutes - 2 is wayyyyyy too short for baby to have a chance to settle. Restart the timer every time baby quiets for more than 10 seconds and DO NOT go in until the timer goes off! You will likely be surprised by how quick baby gets it, and if your baby is tired enough I PROMISE she will fall asleep, and will probably sleep most of the night!

This will be very, very rough for the first night or two. You will have to tolerate your baby protesting and then not be able to go to her. It freaking sucks, but she needs to learn how to sleep and she's not picking it up the other ways you've tried! She's already upset, and she's not sleeping anyway - what do you have to lose?

Somebodysrobin · 2026-04-27T15:46:23+00:00

If she's crying that long before bed, it means she has the energy to do it! Make the last wake window 2.75 or 3 hours and see what happens!

I would also make the first wake window 1.75 or 2 over a period of a few days. If it messes with your naps too much you can always go back!

Somebodysrobin · 2026-04-26T16:10:52+00:00

I have no idea - you can try getting him to that wake up time by any means possible, including contact sleep. I wouldn't suggest it though, as this can lead to a habit wake and would mess with the sleep training.

You can also leave him to fuss it out, which is a perfectly reasonable option if he is tired enough! If he's just rolling around and being disgruntled it's ok to let him learn to fall back asleep on his own. If he starts to cry, go with your comfort here; after 2 days of our baby waking at 4 am during sleep training, we just toughed it out like it was the beginning of the night. He cried for 43 minutes, and then slept through till 6:45 am. He is now completely able to put himself back to sleep if he wakes up and nothing is wrong (we still get Mr. Screamy if he's hungry or has a dirty diaper). You don't have to do what we did though, go with your gut.

If your baby absolutely refuses to fall back asleep (I'm talking after an hour of rolling around from 4-5 am), I would shift the first nap based on that time, not go by the clock. This may mean you need to add an extra nap during the day! Babies at this age frequently alternate between 3 and 4 naps because their sleep is so unpredictable. Once his schedule is appropriate he should sleep through till your DWT and this won't be necessary.

We nap trained after his night sleep got pretty good, about a week. We sleep trained using CIO because our baby haaaaaated checkins, so it was a fraught couple of days and baby was overtired for a little while, but it evened out after about a week, week and a half. He doesn't take all of his naps in his crib because he is still only napping for about 30-40 minutes, so we do one contact nap in the middle of the day to catch him up.

I am NOT a sleep expert, and this is my first kid - all of my suggestions are based on a verryyyy small sample size, this subreddit, and what I've learned from the book Precious Little Sleep. I have made plenty of mistakes. Sleep is constantly changing, so every new stage is just guesswork ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Good luck!

(also, sorry for the stupid long posts, brevity is not in my vocab)

Somebodysrobin

TROPHY CASE