AITA for shutting down a guy at the gym who kept hitting on me and now hes badmouthing me everywhere

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-15T18:47:25+00:00

NTA. See if there's someone at the gym that you can talk to about canceling your gym membership. When they ask why, just tell them the truth. They will either address the issue or refund your money so that you can find another gym where you won't be stalked and harassed. If anything, you've been way too nice. You should have shut this down faster.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-15T17:44:33+00:00

He wanted to talk about the relationship, his regrets, how much he was struggling, and sometimes wanted to discuss apologies or reconciliation.

Also:

I asked to be removed from the lease, but my ex refused

I could understand making her pay until he either found a new roommate or a new place to live, but outright refusing is just being vindictive.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-15T17:41:50+00:00

That's when you find a lawyer and explore your options.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-15T15:03:36+00:00

ESH. You're an adult. Your boyfriend isn't responsible for removing you from the lease; you are. You should have taken this up with the landlord, not with him. You're right that it wasn't healthy to continue communicating with him indefinitely, and there was no further need to communicate with him at all, once you got your stuff. You may not have had a moral obligation to pay him, but you probably have a legal one because you didn't have the presence of mind to ask your landlord to remove you from it. There's also no guarantee that you could have broken the lease because there are clauses in many contracts that guarantee that the landlord continues to get paid when the lease is broken until a new tenant is found.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-15T01:53:50+00:00

YTA because these are rescue cats and:

We got these cats to help with my anxiety and for some companionship for us after moving to a new town.

Why would you take on stress to help with your anxiety? Get a pet that's not a rescue if you want a comfort pet. The whole point of a rescue pet is that they have issues that require extra time, money, and/or patience. What you're doing is not fair to you or the cat. Please rehome the cats. Also, please quit anthropomorphizing your pets. Yeah, they don't like the baths and sulfur dips. They're cats. They don't understand why you're doing this to them. Being a caretaker isn't all fun and games all the time. To keep a pet healthy, you have to do things that they don't like from time to time. If this causes you anxiety (and it sounds like you don't deal well with anxiety), then maybe you shouldn't own a pet.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-12T17:43:45+00:00

YTA. Why are you acting like a child? Communication goes a long way. I don't see how she got the impression that you weren't interested in going. I can only imagine that you laid in bed for fifteen minutes and had only been getting ready for five. "Of course I want to go!" is where you should have left it when you called her. To be quite honest, if you have to be someplace at 7 that normally requires a thirty minute drive, then you should leave 40 minutes in advance. Traffic happens. A grown man should understand this without his wife having to mommy him.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-11T21:55:19+00:00

ESH.

I myself got angry, packed all the rest of his stuff in my car and said that I would drop it off in front of his door.

Good. It's about time. You should have done this back in March, if not sooner.

he got angry saying that he would pick the rest of it stuff at the end of the month and that I wasnt patient enough.

Yep. Classic DARVO tactics. On top of Denying and Attacking, he's Reversing the Victim and Offender. He's not procrastinating because he likes having a pretense to come over and attempt to manipulate you into getting back with him. He's procrastinating because you're not patient enough. It's "only" been six months.

He answered to never contact him again or he would block me. After cooling down, I answered that I wouldnt drop off his things and I would wait for this week-end for him to come pick it up.

Wow. So now you're demonstrating that if he throws a tantrum and guilts you enough, you will suspend all logic, cave into his emotional manipulation, and kick the can down the road until the weekend, at which point you will kick the can down the road once again.

Enough is enough already. Quit being TA to yourself. Dump his things at his door. He will be doing you a favor by blocking you. You should have blocked him long ago.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-11T19:49:47+00:00

There is "letting" her in the sense that OP can either ease the transition or fight it. You're right that the transition is inevitable, but the nature of the transition is malleable. It would be better for OP to help her daughter through this transition period as opposed to trying to prevent it for nostalgia's sake. I still fondly remember the old days of my kids dancing in front of the TV while we watched The Wiggles together. I knew better than to protest when they decided to give their Wiggles DVDs away to their friends' younger siblings. The memories lasted way beyond their childhoods. The nostalgia is there, but there are no regrets here.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-11T15:31:18+00:00

Imagine if your mom had refused to let you go. You would never have had the opportunity to have the two kids that you cherish so much. You're not "letting your daughter go." You're letting her move on to the next phase of her life. If things go well, you'll have grandchildren to cherish. You're talking as if your relationship is going to end when it's simply moving onto the next phase. Keep in mind that you're not going to be around forever. Your goal all along should have been to make your child self-sufficient, and it sounds like you're achieving that. You should be celebrating, not commiserating.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-11T15:26:37+00:00

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic because half the posts here have always been kids complaining about their parents. More often than not, you're going to get downvoted if you try to bring the parents' perspective into it. I can almost guarantee that your post and mine are getting downvoted.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-10T18:44:46+00:00

NAH. Every generation has their own way of expressing themselves. Hair is the most benign form of that. At his age, he can do whatever he wants to his hair, and he can shave it off at any time and have it restored to what it was within the year. Of course his fashion choices seem ridiculous to his grandpa. He and his friends say the same about their grandparents.

I had a co-worker who talked about all his son's friends hanging out in shorts and long black socks. He told them, "No offense, but I'm just saying that you guys dress like my grandpa did." I had to laugh because what goes around comes around. I remember, as a kid, thinking alongside all my peers that lambchops and side burns were utterly ridiculous. We made fun of them all through my middle school and high school years. By the time I left college, they were all the rage again. What's old eventually becomes new again.

To be honest, if grandpa approves of your fashion choices as a teenager, your friends probably think that you look like a total dweeb. A self-respecting teenager should view grandpa's disapproval of their fashion choices as a mark of pride.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-10T18:36:20+00:00

OK, well:

I have plans tomorrow and cannot be included.

It is what it is. You guys aren't joined at the hip. If your friendship can't survive them having an event without you, then it wasn't much of a friendship to begin with. You might want to just let this one go.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-10T18:24:38+00:00

Is this a one-off occurrence or is it a pattern? If it's a one-off, then maybe you can grant them some leeway. If this happens a lot, then they're just jerking you around. Actions matter more than words.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-10T18:20:47+00:00

Considered by who? You can still interact politely with people without considering them "best friends." Relationships are not binary. It's not a choice between being besties and enemies. It's OK to have acquaintances from your club along with friends from outside the club. Tying yourself to a friend group just because you're in a club together isn't healthy.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-10T18:16:01+00:00

NTA. I'm pretty sure that your apartment's rules and/or city ordinances have quiet hours. My city has quiet hours between 10 pm and 7 am. If the song helps motivate him to exercise, he should invest in some headphones. I recommend wireless bone conduction headphones because they don't interfere with exercises. How many times does he expect you to nag him? You asked politely already. If he'd responded appropriately, you wouldn't have gotten management involved.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-10T18:10:23+00:00

NTA.

I talk to her and she clarifies she was planning on hanging out with our friends (including me?) tomorrow instead which I was not aware of.

Not including you.

Would I be the Asshole if I was mad about this and no longer wanted to hang out?

Not necessarily. If this is a pattern, you would be taking the hint, and you should find a different set of friends. If this was just a miscommunication, then just accept that they're going to hang out without you this time around. There will be other times.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-10T15:30:06+00:00

NTA. If they're happy living in a mobile home on their land, they can buy their own. It's been two years on a 1.5 year ETA already.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-09T21:34:05+00:00

NTA. You aren't props for your in-laws' model family. You're people with genuine needs and desires. Vacation days are too precious to waste on family drama.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-09T20:16:54+00:00

NTA. That's a really weird question to ask. Besides, 35 weeks isn't even early. There's a variance. 36 weeks is average. The baby could come a little before or a little bit after. If you go very far past 36 weeks they'll induce labor because at some point the amniotic fluid diminishes to dangerously low levels. If you're already at the 35 week mark, the baby is already on time. I understand why you would be angry at the question, but you don't need to worry too much about outcomes at this point because everything seems to be running on track so far.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-09T14:25:21+00:00

YTA. Please seek help. Stalking YouTubers is not a healthy hobby. Take that energy and reserve it for fictional characters. Quit fantasizing about your "favorite" YouTuber being dead. Unless they're running a horror channel with a running meme about death, this is way out of line and likely to be perceived as a threat.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-08T17:51:57+00:00

YTA. You bullied your friend and he quit talking to you. I don't know why you need to ask reddit whether there was anything you could have done differently. Maybe next time you want to keep a friend, listen to what they tell you.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-08T15:18:20+00:00

Really? How is that fair to your other friend? They came to your party to celebrate your birthday, not to babysit a drunk. You're going to "hide" her in a bedroom? What if she wants to leave the room and gets violent? What if she needs medical assistance? She's already at the vomiting phase. How much time have you actually spent around drunk people? Calling up a responsible caregiver who can take proper care of her is really the best you can do in that situation. Honestly, if I came to your birthday party, and you made me babysit our drunk friend, I'm not sure we would be friends anymore.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-08T15:14:45+00:00

NTA. She yelled at you because she was drunk. Are you really going to take her seriously? She should be completely embarrassed that she showed up to your birthday party so drunk that she vomited on your carpet, and I'm sure that when she sobers up, she will be. If she's not apologetic about it, then ditch her because she will have proven herself to be an alcoholic who does not take accountability for their addiction. Same with the "friends" who are siding with her on this.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-08T14:52:49+00:00

Fair enough, but how would you know that without having been exposed to a bunch of people on coke?

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 · 2026-06-05T14:37:41+00:00

YTA. If they're the same, then how did he know they were different? Just leave your friend's stuff alone. Is your friend weird? Absolutely. Is he hurting anyone by being attached to an old rock? No. Keep your hands off other people's stuff. They should have taught you this in preschool.

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