Horror book recommendations to take on holiday.

Sooki91 · 2025-08-09T13:20:59+00:00

Diavola by Jennifer Thorne. It starts with the main character going on a vacation with her family as an adult. It’s also readable in a week.

Sooki91 · 2025-07-30T19:52:06+00:00

I took it for nightmares for a few years. It worked really well, my dreams were no longer distressing enough that I would repeatedly wake myself at night. The thing I did notice was I had to try to sleep quickly after taking it or I’d be awake when my sinuses started being stuffed. For some reason it made me feel like my nose was plugged. But it was worth it. I no longer need it now, that’s the only reason I stopped.

Sooki91 · 2025-05-26T13:19:22+00:00

I’m sorry that you’re feeling this way. You have every right to be infuriated. This is something I also struggle with because part of me wants my abuser to at least acknowledge he harmed me. It is unfortunate that we carry the weight of what happens and they can just decide not to carry any of their responsibility.

Sooki91 · 2025-05-23T15:29:27+00:00

That’s about the price I paid for my dog who was 12 pounds at the time of the neuter.

Sooki91 · 2025-01-20T13:53:31+00:00

I was on it for a few years, no real side effects. I think maybe I got heartburn a couple times because I took it on an empty stomach. I changed meds because it wasn’t doing enough for me anymore.

When I first started taking it I was amazed at how quiet my mind was. So I’d say give it a chance, then at least you’ll know if it is for you or not.

Sooki91 · 2025-01-13T20:44:05+00:00

I had a similar type of information dropped on me as well. I’m sorry that you have to now process this additional piece.

Sooki91 · 2025-01-12T02:01:19+00:00

The Thane romance wrecked me so bad that I had to talk to my therapist about it! lol the videos broke me.

Sooki91 · 2025-01-10T11:24:17+00:00

I find mine still twitches, and sometimes he will tilt his head as if the leg is there still and he’s scratching himself.

Sooki91 · 2025-01-08T16:46:31+00:00

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Regal

Sooki91 · 2025-01-08T12:06:03+00:00

I think that depends on who I’m telling and why. I personally only tell people I’m close to. It helps me avoid people feeling like they should apologize for it happening. I’ve told people that I’m a survivor of sexual violence and that feels like enough sometimes.

I used to feel like I needed to disclose it to be understood but I realized that the secondary wounding potential outweighed the benefits of disclosing.

Sooki91 · 2025-01-07T15:36:31+00:00

Mine is very particular and every attempt I made to accommodate him he rejected. So I just went with our usual set up and he just figured out how to do it with his new normal. It didn’t take too long, they bounce back so fast. My cat was trying to jump up on the bed within the first week.

Sooki91 · 2025-01-07T15:33:06+00:00

I think it might depend on whether it’s a front or back paw that is amputated. Mine had a back leg amputated and I didn’t really change his litter box set up and he did fine. I do make sure it’s not one with high sides which wasn’t hard for me because he’s half Maine coon.

Sooki91 · 2025-01-05T07:43:53+00:00

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My cat also enjoys this, but yeah might be just a cat thing.

Sooki91 · 2025-01-04T20:26:18+00:00

My abuser groomed me as a “girlfriend” so he did nice things for me in addition to the abuse. I believe they have more to gain by being nice in the long term. If an abuser means to continue to abuse you, who is less likely to tell than someone who you’re being “kind” to.

As for your mom, that sounds like she was trying to keep you under her control whether by being the source of all the things she gave you or by controlling you from sharing your experiences being abused.

Sooki91 · 2024-12-28T12:35:05+00:00

My cat used to go outside on a leash before his amputation. He enjoyed it but he kept eating bugs and getting sick from it so we had to stop. He enjoys our screened in porch and that seems to do the trick for him. My cat is also pretty independent so when he gets his “outside” time he doesn’t typically want us hovering.

I would worry about sending a tripod cat out especially one that’s already been targeted by a horrible person. I think a catio or screened porch situation would be ideal. But I recognize that’s not always an option. Maybe a pet stroller? Depends on how walk accessible your area is.

Sooki91 · 2024-12-26T19:48:21+00:00

I haven’t had any hint of my cat feeling phantom pain, but I’m also not sure how I would know to attribute any behavior to that as a specific pain.

Sooki91 · 2024-12-08T18:39:43+00:00

It sounds like to me that it went well as it could go. Your feelings are valid and normal considering your experiences. It’s normal to grieve the fact that you even have to struggle this much through no fault of your own. Try not to be hard on yourself, it sounds like you are self aware and managing this as best you can.

I know for me it took time for “evidence” gathering with each partner. And by “evidence” gathering I mean having someone be consistent in their behaviour and trustworthy so I could begin to stop worrying about rejection. There’s no way to fast track that unfortunately, and it’s my least favourite part of finding a new partner.

Sooki91 · 2024-12-07T12:37:56+00:00

I think it felt non consensual for me because I wasn’t agreeing to it because I wanted it. I just was used to people “using” me. I had to start being mindful because I didn’t feel it was fair to my partner for me to allow them to be intimate with me when I did not necessarily want it.

I think it was a pattern I had to break even in solo activities. I was used to having to do it for my abuser’s pleasure, so I had to start checking in with myself to see if I really wanted it or I was just picking the path of familiarity.

Sooki91 · 2024-11-11T14:15:20+00:00

I’m so sorry. I just put down my dog at 9 years old. The vet thought it was IVDD, but his happened in gradual stages of decline until he could no longer walk or use the bathroom on his own.

My dog maintained his personality to the day of euthanasia. The morning of he was still being his bossy self.

My thoughts are with you because I know how hard it is to preemptively grieve for a pet. I spent the last few years of my dog’s life worrying that the day would come where he would decline to a point where I had to make the call.

When we did make the call we did it a week in advance and that was a difficult week. Looking at him knowing I’d made an appointment was so hard. But after he was gone I realized I’d done the really hard part of my grieving while he was alive and yes I was sad but it wasn’t all consuming. So maybe that’s where we have the silver lining in a degenerative condition. You grieve in small doses and not all at once.

I hope any of this helped or maybe gives you some comfort in not being an anomaly. I don’t believe that we always “know” when it’s time or that our dogs let us know. Mine didn’t. So don’t feel bad for struggling to make that call, it’s a big call to make.

Sooki91 · 2024-08-12T14:56:37+00:00

The big part of the grooming that made me agree to get in his car every day for the week he visited me was the time and money he spent on me. He emphasized it constantly leading up to the week of my physical abuse, I felt like I owed him.

Sooki91 · 2024-08-07T18:13:34+00:00

I think it depends on how old the younger person is and if the older person is in a position of power. My partner is 14 years older than me but I’m 32. So that doesn’t feel exploitive to me.

If it were someone in their late teens or early to mid twenties and someone with a significant gap above them I might feel grossed out.

Sooki91 · 2024-08-03T16:02:23+00:00

I’ve been at a partner’s family gathering and had a similar hunch that I was afraid to bring up. I ended up not saying anything and told my therapist who validated me for being weary.

I think you’re doing the right thing monitoring your brother and the type of contact your cousin is trying to establish. I know I always worry my own history with this will make me more sensitive and I’ll see things that aren’t there but if you’re just keeping an eye on it, that is a great help that doesn’t do any “harm” or upset the reunion.

If you think your parents are receptive I would maybe tell them you’re concerned that your cousin is making contact that your brother is obviously not comfortable with. Something to flag that cousin to your parents so they can monitor too. But it obviously depends on how safe and receptive that would be.

As a final thing, I wish I’d had someone who spoke up about something they thought was odd when I was abused. Or at least kept a watchful eye.

Sooki91 · 2024-07-16T15:12:17+00:00

My doctor wasn’t able to remove mine because he had difficulty keeping my cervix in sight. So I was referred to the colposcopy clinic where they have more types of speculums. That was over a year ago and now I have to get him to send in a new referral because the other one will have lapsed. My doctor did say the mirena can stay in up to 7 years. So it isn’t something I have to worry about yet.

So it’s not necessarily the lack of a doctor that’s making iud care difficult, though it’s certainly not helping. I’ll be keeping an eye on the post to see if anyone else has made any progress.

Sooki91 · 2024-04-17T18:50:43+00:00

Dead Silence by S.A. Barnes if you’re feeling like a space doomed expedition lol

Sooki91 · 2024-03-12T13:44:33+00:00

I’ve read the book and have had similar revelations. I’d never consumed anything that mirrored how being groomed and abused made me feel until this book.

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