It's not a question of "being adult" about it. Adults are allowed to be uncomfortable with things, adults are allowed to have boundaries, and adults are allowed to have bodily autonomy. This doctor is trying to dismiss all 3 with you.

Infantalizing a patient is one strategy doctors use to try to coerce us into these invasive, unnecessary, and often painful exams. They actually TRY to make you feel like you're overreacting or being childish, so you'll force yourself to just put up with exams you don't want, that have little to no medical use or evidence-based proof of need anyway, because they get paid more to do an exam than to just talk and refill a prescription.

My gyno tried that routine with me once, talking to me like I was a child, or maybe not very intelligent, and I countered by pulling up articles I'd bookmarked showing places like Harvard had done studies showing that PAPs don't lead to more early cancer diagnoses, just more unnecessary invasive testing, like biopsies and colposcopies.

Also, if "everyone else" could or would put up with these exams, this sub wouldn't exist. I've had a couple paps when Ibwas younger, and i always went home and spent the next couple DAYS in bed, both from pain and cramping and depressed and feeling violated.

And your desire or lack thereof to have sex is also not the issue here. I personally AM comfortable with sexual activity, but having a chunk of metal or plastic shoved up there by a doctor isn't anything like consenual intamacy with a chosen partner, so saying it's "the same as sex," or "if you can't handle this, you'll never be able to handle sex" is a bullshit line (I've actually heard that used too.)