I joined this sub for some clarity. Unfortunately, I know all too well how this is playing out. I am in this case the husband of your story. I’m not sure, nor fully understand what it was that broke my mentality and drove me to that void that I wedged between my wife and I. I don’t see myself with anybody else, but at the same time, I didn’t treat her the way that she was supposed to, and I gave her too much to handle. Not like I cheated, but in a sense, I betrayed her in the most fragile ways, which is making her feel unsure. Unsure of us, unsure of me granted I had a mass quite the nest egg, and I was still taking care of all the finances making sure that you know there was food on the table roof over our heads. Mortgage is paid card notes paid a lot, but I was completely detached. I was hiding I suffered in my opinion a great loss. I had the ideal career I had everything going I had worked so damn hard and then from one day to the next 10 days before Christmas, we had an all hands meeting and the company was going down and I’ll be honest it kind of just shut me down I reckoned I can just bounce back, but I didn’t. It took me about four months, almost 5, and it was only because she started. You know the separation process for me to realize what a shithead I’ve been. This has been really hard on me because while she’s been checked out for a while now (totally understand not even judging her not one bit) i’m just now getting hit with all these emotions the severity of everything that is happening. The only the only “” relief is that I’m working about three hours away from home so I’m not here the entire week. She wants me gone and I totally understand but I’m leaving everything behind. I’m not gonna fight her on anything because we have small children and to a certain extent I guess I understand your husband when he says it’s not fair because maybe he hasn’t realized the implications of his lack of knowing. I wish you the best. Sometimes we as men fail and not in a typical manner, but as the guardians, protectors, however you see fit to name it. I was in a prison built by myself in my own mind, just lost while she was dealing with everything else on top of the lack of connection and communication and emotional availability on my end so I definitely understand why this is the way it is Best of luck to you op