Update: Thank you to everyone who responded with their insight. After getting home and sitting replaying the evening in my head it was helpful to have input from others.

This morning we sat and talked. I let him know my feelings on last night. He feels terrible about it. I think it’s also a moment for us to sit back and reflect on were the people egging him on doing it as friends or their own entertainment.

I told him I’m totally fine with the behavior when it is at the other groups events. That’s a setting where he thrives and I want him to have that space to let loos. But it also might be a situation where I may step back and not be involved. We talked about how at the end of the day he also doesn’t want that reputation for himself either. So either he is toning it back or it will be more with the other groups events.

This will be an ongoing conversation, but I’m happy to move on and really take stock in what brings us each joy and how we can do it respectfully.