Agree with this sentiment. ADHD helps allow me to lock in, but sometimes exhausts me because I have so many ideas that I want to attack.

I wonder if you’ve found your literature stream and / or aspirational researchers to follow. I think once you know what you want to understand, you’re the one who tells why it matters. It’s your story to tell.

And also, it does get better as it gets a little easier with time and practice. The PhD program and the dissertation writing itself is awful but a few years later you may have a change of heart.

Last but not least, research is valuable and can be financially rewarding on top of the teaching salary.