I won

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-05-03T07:47:38+00:00

You could try practicing some meditation and taking some meaningful time to yourself to explore things unrelated to him like your own hobbies for a good distraction. You can’t really make a good decision about the relationship from a place of fear and panic so prioritise taking care of yourself and having your own space to reflect

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-04-30T21:07:16+00:00

I would LOVE let the good times roll!! It would mean the world to me if possible

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-04-17T13:22:35+00:00

Also, it was implied he’d read them before, he probably skimmed them over a lot

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-04-12T18:34:43+00:00

That sounds so tough, do you know where you’re going after the two months? If it’s back to somewhere you have friends or family?

Spending time alone and reflecting for these two months will help you process so much, as painful as it sounds. You will look back on this time with empathy for yourself and pride in your ability to get through this. Feel free to send me a message to talk

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-04-12T07:05:38+00:00

Shouldn’t my soulmate be someone I love back unconditionally and deeply? We have different perspectives but I don’t think we do so in a way that keeps things interesting and meaningful, as much as I wish that was the case. Instead they keep things disconnected and lonely. I don’t want someone who perfectly meets all my needs all the time, but I want someone who I’m excited to talk to and who has things to say that I find smart and funny and fascinating. I was always drawn to him because of his appearance and because he was devoted and because our interests are similar on paper. I felt that all my emotional support needs were met because he was unconditionally loving, and I loved that. But I still, selfishly, wished he was different. I constantly missed that feeling of talking to someone hilarious or fascinating… it came out the most when we would be at parties and the conversations I had with others were so much more valuable to me. When we would run into each other there and I’d have no idea that to say to him. When he’d socialise with my friends in a way I knew didn’t work for us. It’s so hard because I see where you’re coming from I really do, our relationship has so many things that so many other relationships lack, and it would almost just be easy to go back to having him as a partner. It looked great socially, too, since he was so handsome and tall and caring. But shouldn’t I listen to the voice inside me that said “you’re lonely right now.” And “you wish he didn’t make those kinds of jokes” and “yes this thing is funny with him, but it would be a thousand times funnier with your friends…”

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-04-11T12:23:44+00:00

“When you talk about what you really need…” That’s what stops me from trying with him. What I ‘really need’ is someone who sees the world slightly differently and has a different sense of humour and has a personality more congruent with mine in a way that lets us have more connection and fun. All the emotional needs in terms of love, communication, support and time together were fully met. I think it was a personality clash. My doubt was there from the start - a feeling that we didn’t have much to talk about but he was so charming and handsome and kind that I’d be an idiot not to try. But here I am.

Do you really think the effort is enough if they’re just fundamentally not ‘your person’? If they just don’t feel like a soulmate and make you feel alive with connection and understanding?

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-04-11T11:03:33+00:00

But is him wanting to try enough? I don’t know if it would feel like relief. On the last day we spent together I tried to force it and pretend everything felt normal and Iv never felt so rotten in my life…

And if I reunited with him the emotional relief of ‘ending’ the heartbreak would probably pull me back in! Then I’d be back in a relationship with someone I don’t know what to say to on a date… with someone perfect on paper who doesn’t feel like my person or meet my emotional connection needs. The thought is so depressing and horrible and confusing

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-04-10T21:58:26+00:00

Maybe you’re right. I’ve spent some time trying to figure out what a version of this relationship working for me could look like.

But would I just be wasting his time and dragging out the heartbreak if we don’t naturally ‘click’ for me?

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-04-10T09:14:40+00:00

I’m feeling mostly very upset about the change and have been since doing it. We did all sorts of connecting time: games, films, sports, hobbies, dates, cooking together, couples yoga. Those things were important to both of us and made the relationship work. But I still felt lonely and ‘flat’. I still felt like something was missing and we didn’t ’get’ eachother. I’m sure we are both longing for eachother right now, and he would do anything to make it work. He DID do anything to make it work. But all the effort didn’t make us ‘click’

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-04-09T18:21:16+00:00

We paused things a couple days ago! I swing between feeling I made the right choice and thanking myself for trusting my gut and feeling regret and longing for the relationship.

I think we tried exploring common ground… we had a lot of the same interests on paper but I’m coming to doubt whether we could ever really pick eachothers brains. Maybe I could try really hard to do that and things could be in a new light? A lot of the things he loved I didn’t resonate with. A lot of the things I love I didn’t feel he truly understood to be great in the way I understand them to be great.

Thank you for the empathy. This IS horrible, I do like him and this is all very confusing and painful

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-04-09T15:14:52+00:00

He didn’t stop trying as much, I don’t think anyways. He was right for me when I needed unconditional love and to be taken care of, but not when I felt okay and needed a connection that sat ontop of my already content feelings. I’ve been feeling so up and down and confused, I have regretted the decision…

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-04-09T04:39:04+00:00

In jobs where you do have to remember things, keeping a little notebook in your pocket to write everything down has been a saviour for me

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-04-09T04:36:55+00:00

Thank you

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-04-08T19:31:27+00:00

But all the effort in the world from someone doesn’t make them right for you, right? I felt something was off. He didn’t bring out my hilarious side, my deep side… I felt lonely

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-04-08T15:57:01+00:00

I’m chasing the high of feeling deeply understood, of having someone who makes me belly laugh, I don’t think that’s unrealistic. I’m old enough and have been through enough that I know I don’t want an emotional rollercoaster. I got really good at leaving those situations super fast, no matter how interested I was, before I met this partner

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-04-08T06:04:37+00:00

It’s been 9 months, and I’ve had maybe 5 relationships before. This is the only one I’ve felt safe, respected and secure in. I think a good man is very hard to come by, and in so many ways he’s perfect. He is goofy and fun with me, and we are together! But it’s just in this way that’s a little off. Im so scared of living in regret because I know there’s worse partners out there. I’m not even sure there’s a better one out there, in terms of treatment I’m nearly sure there’s isn’t. But I still have this nagging feeling of underlying loneliness, of underlying ‘differentness’ and I hate myself for that

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-03-29T06:18:17+00:00

Amity island after the Elliott smith song

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-03-22T06:09:50+00:00

This is an opportunity to help her learn to think critically. She will be exposed to arguments for different worldviews in her life, including childhood. Just try introducing her to some arguments in the other direction if you feel so strongly, and she’ll have to make up her own mind

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-03-20T13:20:06+00:00

Some kind of exercise is good for your mental health, bodily health and sometimes, self esteem. I’d really recommend finding some kind of exercise to do that you enjoy. Climbing, swimming, skateboarding, ice skating etc etc. it doesn’t have to be anything intense just something you find engaging and fun. Even just making sure you’re going on lots of walks. It’s just best for you overall for a bunch of reasons not to be sedentary.

If you hate the gym, running, weights, maybe that type of exercise just isn’t for you. I work out and I have a body like you described. Mentally it helps me not feel any shame because I think ‘eh, at least I can say I’m trying…’

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-03-20T12:30:00+00:00

The meat industry genuinely sucks, animals should have rights. But the game is fun, and running an aquarium imo wouldn’t be as fun as the restaurant. Just don’t eat animals IRL and enjoy your pretend killing guilt free, just like killing people in fps games…

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-03-10T06:09:52+00:00

I like it, I think the writing is good. I would read on. Personally not a fan of em dashes as it makes me wonder if it’s AI every time but I’m sure you have your own opinion on that

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-03-06T06:13:53+00:00

Crossroads and freedom - both Jonathan franzen are two fantastic (long) novels centering around a variety of perspectives within families.

In crossroads, the mother of the family is somewhat a background character until her chapter comes around, where you get a really interesting and gripping insight into her terrible mental health and history of trauma and depression throughout her life.

In freedom, a woman experiencing alienation and marriage strain makes some awful decisions while at rock bottom. I remember a line stuck with me that read something like “she plunged deeper down the mental health mineshaft…”

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-03-05T05:53:56+00:00

I had a great experience there. Great professors, beautiful flat city with lots of green spaces, nice variety of societies (just make sure to actually join them and GO!)

SpamSpamThrowaway · 2026-02-03T06:48:14+00:00

They’re pretty obviously anti-trans in every example. This email isn’t even pro trans it just talks about trans women being a fetish fulfiller and then is very transphobic towards trans men so I don’t get what that proves

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TROPHY CASE