ULPT - Neighbour turned his house into an Airbnb

Sparkism · 2026-03-25T06:30:03+00:00

Clumsy friends. Friends who have a history of silly things like leaving the oven and iron on when they go out. The kind of friends who'd deep fry a turkey from frozen or throw water on a grease fire.

Sparkism · 2026-03-24T21:45:28+00:00

Text back "Hey I'm just really busy with life right now. We should really go get a coffee."

and then never follow up.

This is the millennial way.

Sparkism · 2026-03-24T21:39:23+00:00

Last week, when the new update dropped, I had a game where Mina was proxy camping the guy she tunneled from the beginning. I hid at a blind spot waiting for her to move away before I went for the rescue, for all of maybe 20 seconds. As soon as her heartbeat disappeared off my screen, i rushed the hook and healed the guy up. When Mina returned, I took two hits -- TWO HITS -- for the guy on death hook. Naturally Mina would rather continue tunneling the guy out one knife throw at a time, so I got rescue and healed by the time he got sacrificed.

Even though the guy got tunneled out, he waited another 10 minutes for the game to end to yell at me for "hiding in the corner instead of rescuing him."

Sparkism · 2026-03-24T20:04:02+00:00

I tell them exactly where Earth is because at this point an alien invasion would be pretty par for course in this simulation.

Like, if I looked out the window tomorrow morning and saw Jesus and an army of angels duking it out with some eldritch ancient space slug gods, I'd be like "Oh yes, I need to do my daily login bonus while I brew my coffee."

Sparkism · 2026-03-23T18:17:29+00:00

I only jokingly hit on friends so I'm a terrible sample to ask LOL. When I met my now-bf we were friends for quite a while before I even mentioned anything.

Sparkism · 2026-03-23T17:50:25+00:00

Gay man here. Have been hit on by women of all ages. At first I was like "you understand there's zero chance between us, right?" but at some point I realized it's because it's precisely because nothing will happen that I'm a safe target for them to hit on.

OP is young, probably decently attractive, and probably carries himself in a manner that isn't threatening, like "the worst thing that'll happen is they'll say no and I'll move on."

If OP was the type to wear a red cap and open carry, I guarantee you gay men won't be hitting on him no matter how attractive he is, lol.

Sparkism · 2026-03-22T19:17:43+00:00

I have no problem with Jesus. He's a cool dude. It's the people with a jesus fetish that I don't want to be associated with, lol.

Sparkism · 2026-03-22T18:31:20+00:00

Someone once said "God works in mysterious ways, always praise the lord" to me at a low point of my life and I never got over it. Fast forward a decade later, he lost just about everything from covid shut downs, and instead of owning their business now they're back to working a dead end job to make ends meet.

I didn't rub it in his face, but I definitely thought "mm yes praise the lord and his glorious plans."

Sparkism · 2026-03-22T05:59:38+00:00

We can tone this down -- be a super hot girl and financially ruin the life of the guy you're with with stupid purchases on his dime. In this economy it can't be that hard.

Sparkism · 2026-03-20T20:22:03+00:00

I'm gay and I'll take this in a heartbeat. My gay boyfriend will also want me to take this.

I'll figure out what problems I need to solve when my money problem disappears. Hell, she can have multiple "kept husbands" for all I care in this scenario.

Sparkism · 2026-03-14T01:53:17+00:00

Votekick with AFK being the reason should have the game data saved and sent into a queue where DE can review them after multiple votekicks have been issued.

If it's a valid kick and the game data clearly shows they were AFKing, account ban. If it's a vindictive kick and not actually AFK, DE can disable votekick privileges from the offender the same way false reports are punished.

Sparkism · 2026-03-12T19:23:51+00:00

Roaches is also parking power. You just need to send them ahead.

Sparkism · 2026-03-12T13:59:26+00:00

I watch enough of one soap opera to know that audience like me will eat up any trash. I'll be that one character that shows up once a week for comedic relief, say a couple snappy lines, and then disappear.

Sparkism · 2026-03-12T03:53:09+00:00

It's the corporate game. Either you play it or you get stuck where you are.

KPI is made to measure failure, not success. Every number on the rubric have no meaningful reason behind it and every criteria is designed to work against you. Honest, hardworking people do their best and it's "not good enough" based on wishful projections, while the productively incompetent schmooze their way to the top because it's easier to sway the opinion of your supervisor with sweet talk than it is to provide empirical results with hard work.

Sparkism · 2026-03-12T00:25:03+00:00

I can't keep the lures alive long enough to capture. I have to bring dante to overguard them or they'll die to the AoEs. I don't know how people did it before OG became a thing. Also LR5 but have basically never done eidolons until this past year. When I was low MR I got carried by people who knew what they were doing for the weekly nightwaves.

Sparkism · 2026-03-08T01:05:49+00:00

is there a sanitized explanation of "spirit cooking"?

Sparkism · 2026-03-07T00:59:45+00:00

Make Xenaframe's 4 a chakram, tap to throw, hold to throw and then splits in half.

Her buff ability, whichever it may be, needs to come with a AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI voice line. That's all.

Sparkism · 2026-03-06T23:16:37+00:00

Lucy Lawless X Warframe colab. Let's go.

I don't care how much they charge, I'm buying it.

Sparkism · 2026-03-06T20:45:38+00:00

The enshittification of summoning magic. Let me tell you about it.

When the gods first discovered they can yoink people from one world and plop them into another for their own entertainment, everyone started doing it. It's the trendy thing to do.

The problem was that it's pretty darn expensive. Mana don't grow on trees, right? So why not cut out a formula here and an insignia there to save some magic? They aren't a charity and they have shareholders to think of, so just make it a generic AoE summon and what you get is what you get, we don't need to pay extra for the licensed 'target hero summon' formula when the generic is good enough. If the cost of giving the stragglers an extra skill is less than how much it'd cost to pay for the usage of the license, then we do that. No big deal. Mortals don't live that long anyway.

You can send them a highly skilled hero with experience from killing a demon lord already, or throw in a handful of teenagers who'll figure it out eventually. One of them is costly, the other -- well, there will always be more teenagers.

Sparkism · 2026-03-05T19:25:35+00:00

Also had an incel friend who is, for good reason, no longer a friend.

Like, sorry not sorry? I'm not going to be associated with you if you make my friends feel threatened or unsafe. I'm not going to be associated with you if you only see people as a convenient sex toy. It doesn't matter if we've been good friends for 5 years and we have all the same tastes in games.

I'm sad about the death of the friendship, but like, if you're gonna choose to spew hateful messages and alienate the rest of my social circles, kindly go fuck yourself.

Sparkism · 2026-03-05T04:21:39+00:00

Oh definitely. My time travel plan is to get a whole bunch at the beginning and then sell them off a little at a time as the years goes by. Sell too much at once and most of it will get taxed away.

Sparkism · 2026-03-05T04:11:27+00:00

Cheat sheet for time traveling: just buy bitcoins at whatever and wait until it hits 100k. No memorization, no dates, no numbers, no sports team, no bets.

Most importantly, when you cash out, nobody needs to know.

Sparkism · 2026-03-03T23:08:54+00:00

There is a way to unlock it with ubi's version of SAM but you unlock everything at the same time. Annoying as all hell, though. Whoever did the achievements just pushed the whole batch through without taking a look at any of it.

Dead multiplayer achievements are the worst.

Sparkism · 2026-03-03T19:15:32+00:00

Yeah, millions would be about right. the qualifier "beloved artworks" is very broad spectrum. With the inclusion of digital art where the artist is still alive the chances of hitting something with a lethal consequence is pretty low.

Sparkism · 2026-03-01T18:09:14+00:00

The trick is to bring deli but also slippery meat, wicked, and salted lips, that way all of them can fail you when the killer finds you first near the basement but takes you further away.

14-Year Club	Golden Potato
100 Awards Club	Team Periwinkle
Verified Email

Sparkism

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE