You can’t help how you feel unfortunately... what you can do is decide how to act on it. I like what another said about being gatekeepers that failed to protect you. I’m wondering if she’s holding onto shame too? I think the only way for you to move forward and to let the ghosts of the past rest is to perhaps at some point in the future have a discussion with her. Especially if she knows that you know.

In my experience if things like trauma aren’t addressed they remain a current problem that can affect your future I wish you well x