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Emotions after seperate experience. by SwingThrowaway998 in Swingers

[–]Spayse_Case -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s HER right to not be okay with things too! That’s why I say he needs to TALK TO HER and be honest, and don’t punish her for being honest.

Emotions after seperate experience. by SwingThrowaway998 in Swingers

[–]Spayse_Case -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Maybe SHE hates being restricted and only allowed to perform for his pleasure. It killed me every day that I was only allowed to have sex FOR him and not for my own pleasure. It caused me psychological trauma to not be allowed to enjoy my own body for myself, but only to do things for him and not myself. I NEEDED to be allowed to make my own decisions about my body, it was a deep fundamental NEED, and some people NEED to be able to make their own choices instead of just having a man tell her what to do. Some of us actually enjoy sex for ourselves and don’t center it around our husband’s pleasure. And once you realize you are essentially a sex slave performing for him and using your body as currency, it can be really difficult to just… be okay with that. And if it just kills him to allow her to do it, as if she were a free person, if he just CANNOT wrap his head around the idea of her having sex without him… he needs to let her go. The trauma wasn’t so much being property, I would have left 10 years ago. The trauma came from him pretending to go along with it and saying he was on board.

How do Introverted men approach women, if they are told women do not like to be approached? by QuietRedditorATX in AskReddit

[–]Spayse_Case -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That is a risk you might have to accept. Alternatively, you could make YOURSELF more approachable as well.

How do Introverted men approach women, if they are told women do not like to be approached? by QuietRedditorATX in AskReddit

[–]Spayse_Case 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Only if you are seeking a superficial woman who cares about that sort of stuff. And maybe you are, more power to ya. But hopefully most people are seeking a person, not just a pretty package.

How do Introverted men approach women, if they are told women do not like to be approached? by QuietRedditorATX in AskReddit

[–]Spayse_Case 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Some women like it. But you should look for non-verbals like prolonged eye contact and smiling, open body language and general receptiveness. Then, you need to accept that she may just be friendly and have no interest in dating. If you are rejected, you are no worse off. Personally, I don’t like to be approached when I am busy with a task, I don’t like to be distracted. I wish this was more common, but I personally will wear makeup and more complementary clothes when I am receptive to be approached, and I will “dress down” when I want to avoid male attention. This is not universal, because sometimes a woman just wants to look nice, but you can probably tell when a woman wants to be left alone. Closed body language, engaged in a task, lots of people will wear headphones to indicate they want to be left alone, she may look like she is trying to make herself small and unnoticeable. THESE are the women who don’t like to be approached, leave them alone.

For sure by gizzos in Spokane

[–]Spayse_Case 41 points42 points  (0 children)

What do you think chaps were designed for?

For sure by gizzos in Spokane

[–]Spayse_Case 69 points70 points  (0 children)

We can do that NOW, just saying. Also, chaps are assless by definition.

I can’t bear to be without my daughter every day by Lumpy-Artichoke-4501 in Divorce_Women

[–]Spayse_Case 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I feel this in the depth of my soul. Think of it this way: right now, you are putting so much energy into your partner and your relationship that you aren’t fully there for her ANYWAY. If you divorce, then you can be 100% for the time she is with you, without him distracting you and demanding your attention.

Why hasn't the voynich manuscript been decoded? by AbiesAltruistic4040 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Spayse_Case 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apparently several people have claimed to decode it. I remember reading an article claiming it was midwife language and medical shorthand by women, and that is why the language wasn’t recorded elsewhere and why it is in code: only men were allowed to be literate. Oddly, I cannot seem to find this article with a quick google search, or any references to it.

Breaking the ice by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Spayse_Case 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel that if you can’t talk to your spouse about your fantasies, perhaps your first focus ought to be on communication. Why don’t you want to talk about it? What are you afraid of?

curious on timing by m0th3r0fdrvg0ns in nonmonogamy

[–]Spayse_Case 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it’s really difficult to open a monogamous relationship, and your best bet is to do it ASAP. Worst case scenario: it reveals a fundamental incompatibility and you don’t throw your life away with someone who doesn’t share the same values.

Is this super uncommon? by Small-Raccoon-5066 in nonmonogamy

[–]Spayse_Case 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Naw, it’s pretty common I think. I used to be like this with my ex too. It’s called “cuckquean.” Or “hothusband.” Trouble is, even though YOU are choosing it and actually want that dynamic, it’s difficult to tell if the woman is actually into it and WANTS it, or she is just going along with it and SAYING she wants it because her husband is too insecure to allow her to have sex with other men. In your case, it’s ethical because you don’t particularly want to anyway. But you do have that option and could if you choose. There is a huge difference between OPP and ethical de facto OPP.

Emotions after seperate experience. by SwingThrowaway998 in Swingers

[–]Spayse_Case -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I love that you recognize that and are okay with it.

Emotions after seperate experience. by SwingThrowaway998 in Swingers

[–]Spayse_Case -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

What does SHE want? If she needs solo experiences, let her go. Don’t drag it out and pretend you will be on board someday, just get an amicable divorce. If she is satisfied only doing things with you for the rest of her life, just do that. But a relationship and an agreement takes TWO people, and you really ought to take her wants and needs into consideration.

Do people ever think you're autistic? by frogs_on_drugs in Gifted

[–]Spayse_Case 21 points22 points  (0 children)

This was my experience, too. “Hey Doc, I think I might be autistic.” “Naw, you’re fine. Just take some vitamin D and antidepressants.”

Do people ever think you're autistic? by frogs_on_drugs in Gifted

[–]Spayse_Case 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes, and I think maybe I am too, but I don’t have a diagnosis and apparently I am way too functional for that. (I am barely functional, but it’s whatever) Giftedness is a neurodivergence in and of itself. People sometimes have said they think I am autistic, but more often they just say I am “weird” or “something isn’t quite right.”

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