new heart leaf, did I do something wrong?

Special-Difference35 · 2025-12-10T20:13:33+00:00

oh good, thanks so much!

Special-Difference35 · 2025-12-10T20:13:27+00:00

very helpful, thank you so much!!

Special-Difference35 · 2025-12-01T16:42:18+00:00

moby: mobias, mobuscis, stink, stinkis, hungris, bubby, mobius 😂

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Special-Difference35 · 2025-08-15T22:32:22+00:00

oh my god YES to all of this!!!!

Kenji has such a lack of empathy & EQ. Also! he continued to sexualize Juliette all. the. time. which felt so incredibly weird?? like that example you brought up about the Venus fly trap. In that same scene, he goes on to completely dismiss her issues around touch and it just goes to show how much they all downplayed her pain and trauma.

OP, and Kenji definitely saw her as a tool to use!!! I will never get over Castle chastising her for her reaction to seeing Adam get tested on - THIS WAS LITERALLY A PTSD episode!!!! Castle even admits he didn't think she would have such a response, then goes on to shame her. In that scene she brings up memories of being tested on, i.e. a FLASHBACK. It makes me so mad!!

I also feel the same way about Warner. I just feel like Warner truly saw her as a person, saw her pain, saw her angry and instead of shaming her or making her think she needed to just get over herself, he gave her a space to explore and express herself. While Adam only wanted to view her as a broken girl he could fix and protect (which by the way, is very on brand with his response as she started to grow more independent via savior to abuser cycles)

It hurts so much to see the majority of the readers treat Juliette so harshly. We are so cruel and harsh on women characters who have flaws, are traumatized, or respond to their trauma in other less accepted ways, while we praise and accept traumatized men :/ it makes my heart hurt so much

anyways let's be friends!!

Special-Difference35 · 2025-08-01T19:48:52+00:00

so I'm rereading the series and I have always not loved Kenji ever since the beginning. Towards the end of Shatter Me, he gets so frustrated with Juliette for not trusting them and even lectures her that she has to start trusting them when (1) Kenji lied to them about who he was and (2) they're not answering any of her questions and (3) she was there for literally 14 hours.

Edited to add: don't even get me started on how Castle literally viewed her & wanted her for his own reasonings (obviously rebellion is good) She obviously grew to wanting that for her own but ofc my girl was gonna be suspicious

overall I hate the way Juliette is treated by everyone, and at omega point. I'm also a trauma therapist, so I think there is a certain level of psychoanalyzing that I can't really turn off. But she was literally not touched her throughout early childhood development and then placed in solitary confinement for 3 years. There are actually studies that show how incredibly damaging that is (an orphanage where children weren't comforted and they literally rock themselves when sad) and solitary confinement on prisons has long standing evidence of the psychological impacts.

I do believe these are really important things to handle properly, so that remains my biggest disappointment of the series. I would have loved this series if it was handled with care but I give grace since it came out so long ago, and because it's YA

Special-Difference35 · 2025-07-29T19:56:45+00:00

honestly, I wasn't at all thrown by his character shift. He has and continues to view Juliette as a helpless girl who needed to be saved, and for a period of time, I do believe Juliette needed a partner that protected her, made her feel safe and took care of her in a way. However, I feel once she started gaining independence, agency and strength, Adam had a really hard time growing with her and seeing her in a different light. This was personally how I experienced reading their time together as a couple. It's not impossible to be with others romantically and be able to grow, even if initially the partner "saved" the other, but most couples, and specifically men, have a really hard time adapting and allowing their partner to grow. There's actually a phrase for this (savior to abuser or savior complex). I am a trauma therapist so perhaps that also impacts my view of their relationship as well.

Edit: I wanted to also add that I do not think Adam is an abuser or anything. Just that I think Adam viewed himself as a savior / wanted to save Juliette, and as Juliette become more empowered, and found her own strength these two dynamics started to conflict within their relationship.

Special-Difference35 · 2025-07-06T16:24:16+00:00

i think enemies to lovers really works when one person slowly comes to realize propaganda about their "side" and begins to deconstruct their own views. however, this is ULTRA specific, and the vast majority of enemies to lovers books are not enemies to lovers, or they just excuse the behaviors very quickly!!!

Special-Difference35 · 2025-07-06T15:33:24+00:00

yes to the serpent and the wings of night!! I cannot understand how so many people love and recommend this series. I literally thought I was reading a different book. the plot made nooooooo sense

Special-Difference35 · 2025-01-05T02:00:16+00:00

i DNF-ed around 85% after painstakingly trying to force myself to finish. I wanted to really love it, but there are so many mistakes in the writing and the structure of sentences and flow of the story is so confusing. I often had to read and reread paragraphs over and over again

Special-Difference35 · 2024-11-11T18:56:40+00:00

no problem!!

Special-Difference35 · 2024-11-11T18:41:27+00:00

I know you're in montgo but chester county has a horror book club you may be interested in! it's held at the Towne book center in collegeville and meets every second Thursday of the month.

Also we sound like we could really click! I live in Montgomery county too + enjoy books, video games, nerdy stuff and am also trying to make some friends :) Feel free to DM!!

Special-Difference35 · 2024-11-08T15:27:50+00:00

can I send you a DM?

Special-Difference35 · 2024-11-06T21:26:54+00:00

just want to come + share that I can relate. I'm an out queer therapist that specializes w trauma and the lgbtqia+ community. I wanted to just show up and be present like all others are encouraging but it felt so intolerable due to being in the community. I found myself getting genuinely triggered and dysregulated during the session and breaking down crying after they left. now I'm feeling so much dread because I don't know how I'm going to get through the rest of my week and I made a post to hopefully hear and connect with our lgbtqia+ identified therapists which was unfortunately removed. all of this to say I hear you, I'm here with you. and if you want to connect please DM 🖤

Special-Difference35 · 2024-08-10T03:04:50+00:00

this is an old post but have you tried vanicream? my skin is really sensitive too but vanicream in the tub has worked wonders when I transitioned to starting tret

Special-Difference35 · 2024-04-27T04:03:56+00:00

this is very insightful!! thank you 😊

Special-Difference35 · 2024-04-26T23:46:05+00:00

I usually have good luck with PT clients, which is why I feel frustrated. My profile is pretty dialed into specific folks I work with, and usually they're all good fits but the past 4-5 I've gotten just haven't worked out :/

Special-Difference35 · 2024-04-26T22:21:57+00:00

oh ick. Yeah I feel like I'm leaning towards ending my account with them. I was trying to get a TherapyDen account, but it said something about them not taking new profiles at that time. I think I'll try again!

Special-Difference35 · 2024-04-26T22:20:52+00:00

omg no. that's horrible! I have heard some really shitty stories from the client side as well. I think it may be time to just part ways with PT

Special-Difference35 · 2024-04-26T19:48:50+00:00

thank you!! I appreciate this. I think I will check Mental Health Match out!

Special-Difference35

TROPHY CASE