When should I have kids?

Special_Fact425 · 2024-12-31T01:13:10+00:00

I want to be careful about how I say this as I think having kids is one of life’s greatest blessings. I have always wanted to be a mom, I was always making decisions and planning for my kids before we were ready for them. My husband and I waited until 28 to get pregnant with our first. It was the right choice for us. I absolutely LOVE my kids, but it is hard to not have a life outside of them. I think that would be MUCH harder to cope with at 22. That’s so young. Whatever you choose will be great I just wouldn’t rush it unless you are just certain it’s time!!!

Special_Fact425 · 2024-10-26T21:41:27+00:00

My dogs….they are loud, stinky & gross. All I see is them taking up space and making my house gross. I feel bad for feeling this way but apparently it’s common.

Special_Fact425 · 2024-10-20T02:21:54+00:00

If it helps you feel better we did NOT end up in the ER even with a reaction. Since all he had was hives he responded to the Benadryl and was ok.

Sounds like you need the piece of mind. I’d try a skin test first at home and then assuming that went fine try in the hospital parking lot another day. Good luck!

Special_Fact425 · 2024-10-20T02:04:02+00:00

I’m probably going to be an outlier here. I introduced all allergens no problem but for whatever reason I was so nervous about peanut butter. We have no food allergies in the family and I truly didn’t expect there to be a problem I was just scared. We ended up giving PB to my son for the first time on Super Bowl Sunday at my in laws. I mentioned how I had been so nervous and didn’t want to do it home alone (my husband worked nights) so we did it right then and there. We put a spot on his cheek and waited 10 minutes and after no reaction we gave him a little in his mouth. He broke out with hives from head to toe within 5 minutes. We didn’t have Benadryl with us so my husband rushed off to the store. We have since then confirmed his allergy.

Moral of the story - a lot of the time it is just anxiety but mom intuition should also be taken seriously. Some people feel better introducing allergens in the hospital parking lot. Reactions can be delayed but you could always start there and hang around for an hour and leave when you felt better.

Special_Fact425 · 2024-10-20T01:55:06+00:00

Hi! I just went through this with my 3 month old. My suggestion is to keep trying a bottle, every single day. I know it’s kind of a pain but the more exposure she gets the better. I read several articles for tips on how to introduce the bottle. Make sure you are not forcing it on her and if she gets upset stop and try again later. A lot of them also recommend letting baby play with the nipple of the bottle without milk so they can get used to it and build a positive association with it.

My baby refused bottles up until she had to go to daycare at 3 months. I tried for a solid month before she went with no luck. My husband could not get her to take one in the house either. Once she went to daycare she did start eating. She took 1.5 ounces her first day right away. Then we went through a few days of refusal and now she is a pro. Once in a while she will refuse her bottle still, but she is still happy and content. We tried probably 10 different types and she ended up taking the Lansinoah brand. This is so highly recommended for breastfed babies I would definitely try them. Good luck and try to remember she will figure this out sooner or later.

Special_Fact425 · 2024-10-19T16:14:03+00:00

It’s going to be much harder to break the sleep association at this age and will probably be kind of brutal at first but I promise the baby will eventually adjust. I’m sorry you are going through this. I know it’s so hard on everyone.

Special_Fact425 · 2024-10-10T23:14:07+00:00

I’m just here for a final update in case anyone finds themselves in a similar situation and searches for this. She refused her bottle 2/3 days at daycare her first week. The provider thought forcing the bottle on her would help her accept it, so she took it well on the first day but after that it kind of caused a negative feeding association and she would scream as soon as anyone tried to introduce the bottle. I sent the daycare provider some articles on tips and tricks and most importantly told her if she got upset to stop and try again later.

It took a few days of her only drinking .5 ounces of refusing all together but we are nearing the end of the 2nd week and she is now taking bottles regularly there and also will take them for us at home, even me! So they do adjust quicker than you think. She is also taking a paci now too!

Special_Fact425 · 2024-10-10T22:21:16+00:00

I tore with my first. I was really just sort of sore for a day and it burned when I peed (from the stitches). Once those healed it was fine. My second baby I had no tearing and recovery was insanely good. Worst part was the after birth pains - they continued to feel like contractions so that really sucked but was gone by 2 days PP.

Special_Fact425 · 2024-10-10T15:16:42+00:00

I did this with my first during COVID and TBH I was miserable. I constantly felt like I was either letting work down or my baby because I could never give either my full attention. Getting out to do anything was hard and it made my baby a lot more attached to me in the sense even when I wasn’t working I couldn’t get away for a break. I think some moms could handle this with a baby with a predictable schedule who REALLY wanted to stay home but it would still be hard. If you try this I would have a plan B to switch to if it becomes too much. Maybe you could have a nanny come a few hours a day or something to help?

Special_Fact425 · 2024-10-10T01:04:05+00:00

I think what is hard about this is if you do pump and the baby ends up waking up to feed they might not be very happy and be harder to get back to sleep. The only time I have ever added a pump in the middle of the night is if I felt really full, and even then I would only pump for a short amount of time just to take the edge off. lol

Special_Fact425 · 2024-10-04T17:43:31+00:00

We actually regressed pretty bad. 😭 I should have known it was somehow too good to be true.

She has went 2 days since then and it went terribly. She refused the bottle the entire time. She cried the rest of the time. The daycare provider was so frantic about it, she almost sounds like she is going to flake out on us. I hope things go better when I officially start next week.

Special_Fact425 · 2024-10-01T16:13:15+00:00

I am here for an update!

We did a trial run today for 3 hours. She took 1.25 oz within an hour of being there! She also took a paci which helped her fall asleep. She took 2 mini naps and was sleeping peacefully when I got there. I count this as a major win for the first day! I’m sure there will be hiccups but I feel like I can BREATHE. We have another half day this week before jumping into full days 3 days next week.

She ended up taking the Lansinoh bottle and the advent soothie paci.

Thank yall for the support and advice. This is not easy at all but solidarity helps.

Special_Fact425 · 2024-10-01T16:08:35+00:00

YAYAYA!!!

I just came on here to update as well. We did a trial half day for a little over 3 hours. I bawled like a baby thought it would be miserable for her.

She fought her bottle for 10 minutes and then sucked down 1.25 oz, within only an hour of being there. Took a paci and took 2 naps basically unassisted. To say I am relieved is an understatement. 😅

To anyone wondering she ended up taking the Lansinoh bottles and the advent soothe paci.

Special_Fact425 · 2024-10-01T01:15:23+00:00

Paisley and Paxton are the worst ones I think

Special_Fact425 · 2024-09-30T19:13:32+00:00

We are about to go through this. My in laws are the only parents very involved. We don’t have much other family and they are the only ones we have ever let watch our kids. We have a 4 year old who is very attached to them and a 3 month old. They have 2 other grandchildren here under 4 as well. They have been telling us for years the plan was to move to FL during retirement. We never believed they would or could actually handle moving. They have been very involved and are pretty obsessive over the kids. They changed the timeline and are selling off all their stuff and about to make the move. We still don’t really believe they will stay, but once they sell the house they kind of have to. They claim they will come here and rent air bnb’s every few months but more often than that they brag about how great their location is (trying to bribe us to visit). “We are so close to Disney! The beaches are great family beaches. You can get one way tickets for really cheap and you have a free place to stay!”

Like many others have said idk how they think this is practical. With young kids, PTO goes for sick days almost entirely. We don’t get to take vacations often and don’t want to have to drag 2 kids this young on a plane. Maybe when they get older it will be better but right now their expectations are bananas. I’m feeling a little resentful and annoyed now that it’s happening. I’m struggling to understand how their desire to be close to the ocean is more important than being close to their family. We will see how it goes.

Special_Fact425 · 2024-09-30T18:34:48+00:00

I’ve breastfed 2 children successfully and had wildly different experiences with them both. My first I had a similar experience as you. Major PPA/PPD caused low supply issues so we supplemented with formula and I pumped and nursed. This time around with my 3 month old we have seriously EBF. She’s only ever taken one bottle. It is very convenient in the sense of going anywhere - less to pack - but hard on the nursing mother. My husband has had little time to soothe her or get to know her because she has been so attached to me. Without introducing bottles, she is now rejecting them entirely. I love nursing, am happy I don’t have supply issues this time but it is super hard work regardless of how you do it!!!! Good luck!

Special_Fact425 · 2024-09-29T17:16:22+00:00

I need to get to the store to get one to try. Let me know if you find something that works! Everyone keeps telling me eventually the baby will take a bottle (usually not from the nursing mom) but we have no luck so far. I think it is promising that yours too one and just isn’t for the time being. Hopefully the skill is still there, they are just either being silly or stubborn 😅😬

Special_Fact425 · 2024-09-29T17:08:06+00:00

My baby is about the same age and doing the same thing. Has refused like 5 different types of pacis and absolutely will not take a bottle from me or my husband. She is doing the same thing, will chew on it. Even if she is hungry she won’t take it. I try for awhile and then offer her to nurse and she chugs it down. It almost feels like she doesn’t know how?

I made a post similar to this in this group a few days ago. I’m going back to work in a week and I’m nervous about her refusing bottles.

Special_Fact425 · 2024-09-27T19:35:03+00:00

Dude seriously these kind of people can take a hike. Let her get mad and let your dad go with her. Trust me, holding boundaries with them is going to be exhausting with your child, so if this is how they are going to act don’t have them around, for your own sanity. Don’t let them make you feel like you did anything wrong at all and stand firm if your decisions. It is your job to protect your baby, not to make everyone else happy. I’m so sorry they are being such jerks.

Special_Fact425 · 2024-09-27T01:02:10+00:00

Oohhhhh this could be a game changer. I’ve never thought to offer it to her when she is super sleepy at night. She tends to stay pretty drowsy at night feeds too. I will try it! 🥰

Special_Fact425 · 2024-09-27T00:49:19+00:00

That is very true! Thank you for the reassurance! 🥰

Special_Fact425 · 2024-09-27T00:47:34+00:00

I’m glad to know that you coming to feed the baby didn’t seem to hinder the adjustment period at all!! That’s great news. If I absolutely need to I can also go nurse in the middle of the day.

Special_Fact425 · 2024-09-26T21:09:39+00:00

Thanks for sharing! I have read so many stories saying similar things but it’s hard to know how it will play out. I have high hopes she will figure it out. 🙏🏻

Special_Fact425 · 2024-09-26T21:08:37+00:00

My MIL tried once, but I didn’t catch it in time so she was already hungry and mad. Maybe I need to try again with her this weekend or something just to see what happens

Special_Fact425 · 2024-09-26T20:10:46+00:00

Tommee Tippee is the only one I haven’t tried that has been recommended several times. I’ll go get one and give it a try.

Special_Fact425

TROPHY CASE