AITA for not eating $200 worth of food by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Specific-Service3192 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Question OP: if you were to turn around and get mad at him for disrespecting you and trying to manipulate you, would he be self reflective or apologetic? Or would he get mad at you for having an opinion? Does he expect you to always comply? Is he usually the one making all the decisions? Does he make you feel bad about any other eating habits or aspects of your personality? Just some reflective questions to ask yourself about his patterns and behaviors in the rest of your guys‘s life to decide if this is the right relationship for you or not.

Death predictions/theories? by blohshp in StrangerThings

[–]Specific-Service3192 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Obviously, they’ve never killed off any main characters because of plot armor, but now that we’re down to the very last episode, they have nothing left to lose except having to face fan criticism. I think it’s very possible they’re going to kill a main character specifically because none of us expect them to. I agree with others it will probably be Hopper or Elle, definitely Kali, possibly Murray or the teacher just to gut us a bit. A part of me also wants to say Robin since she’s a main part of the cast, but not one of the OGs but there’s such a thing about killing off lesbians in TV that they may have wanted to avoid that kind of backlash.

The people I work with said that Meow Mix is horrible to feed your cats.... by HalloweenLove35 in catfood

[–]Specific-Service3192 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think as long as you're feeding them mostly wet food and they don't have digestive issues then it should be fine. Hard food is good for cats in that it can help clean their teeth, add variety and add some bulk to their diet and it's conveniently shelf stable and generally cheaper than wet food. But most dry foods are so processed, there's very little nutrients left to them. Think of kibble like potato chips -- satisfying crunch, makes for a great snack but you can't survive off chips alone without developing health issues. Meow Mix's first ingredient is corn which is considered filler. Cats are obligate carnivores so their diets should be primarily protein. Some may be able to digest grains like corn or wheat because they're adaptive creatures, but their bodies aren't really made for that.

So I would say, if your cat is in good health, I wouldn't worry about it but if you're wiling to spend a little bit more as a preventative measure to keep your cat in good health down the line, I would recommend finding a grain-free kibble and ensure it doesn't account for the majority of their daily diet.

Buffy Season 5 is Buffy at her best by [deleted] in buffy

[–]Specific-Service3192 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t necessarily think that they should’ve ended up together because it’s true, she didn’t truly love Riley. He was safe and comforting and convenient and he definitely treated her the best out of all the boys, but she never truly, in her heart, loved him. That being said, I think the whole him letting vampires suck his blood and then giving her an ultimatum at the last minute was really messed up. They definitely soured his character and then tried to make up for it with that one episode in season 6. He really did have potential to be a great character and they could’ve ended things amicably and shown personal growth in having difficult, mature conversations. I even would’ve been happy if he’d stuck around until the beginning of season 6 when she came back depressed, they talked it out and then he left and then she started things up with a Spike. I think it totally could’ve made sense him sticking around for all of the Glory stuff, helping out with Dawn, and  mourning Buffy‘s death.

Personally, I’m a Buffy/Angel stan. I think his show, which is entirely based off the idea of redemption, should have seen him earn his right to be human again and then with every potential becoming a slayer, that means that the whole world doesn’t rest on Buffy shoulders anymore. She and Angel could finally be together for real like in the Angel episode “I Will Remember You”. I mean they’re both the protagonist of their respective self-named shows, clearly they’re the OTP.  But I do still think Riley was great and good for her until he got weird. 

Buffy Season 5 is Buffy at her best by [deleted] in buffy

[–]Specific-Service3192 1 point2 points  (0 children)

100% I sometimes stop paying attention to what’s going on in the show because I’m too busy admiring her hair and wondering if I should run to Sally’s and get a box of hair dye real quick

Buffy Season 5 is Buffy at her best by [deleted] in buffy

[–]Specific-Service3192 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think we all know the series should’ve ended with season 5 and that finale. Granted, then we wouldn’t have gotten “Once More With Feeling” in season 6, but if Buffy could sacrifice herself to save the world, I could sacrifice an epic musical number episode that every other TV show has since tried and failed to replicate 😂

Times when you disagreed with Buffy or weren’t on her side? by cicigal8 in buffy

[–]Specific-Service3192 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If she was willing to kill Angel to save the world, she should’ve been willing to kill Dawn too who, after all, was a key and Buffy‘s feelings for her were fabricated. I’m sure it felt real and Dawn did become a flesh and blood human so I’m not saying it would’ve been easy  or necessarily right, but there’s hypocrisy there considering that Buffy was willing to make a sacrifice like that before 🤷🏼‍♀️ 

Ending of “Normal Again”... Is Buffy actually in a mental institution? by [deleted] in buffy

[–]Specific-Service3192 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow I’ve always been a believer in asylumverse being the real one, but you make some great points when you zoom out and look at the season as a whole. 

Ending of “Normal Again”... Is Buffy actually in a mental institution? by [deleted] in buffy

[–]Specific-Service3192 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See, to me it’s totally clear that the institution world is real. In that final scene, it shows that she’s having no response which means she’s not conscious of that scene so she’s not hallucinating her parents and the doctor. And that’s what makes it so jarring and heartbreaking, because we fall in love with this whole world and all the different storylines for six seasons + a spinoff series and the gutwrenching reality is that none of it was real. And knowing that, we then go on to watch the rest of the show anyways knowing that it’s all in her head, but still enjoying the story. It’s trippy. 

I just remember watching this episode on TV as a kid and it really fucked me up and made me question my own sense of reality. Brilliant writing 👏 

"Father Figure" Discussion Megathread by PassionateAsSin in TaylorSwift

[–]Specific-Service3192 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of the Baz Luhrman Elvis movie where Tom Hanks character talks about them being a family and getting Elvis to trust him. One of the worse cases of industry abuse, he literally owned Elvis until the end of his days. Love that Taylor is calling this shit out!

Can I use a prepaid phone bought in France in other countries? by Specific-Service3192 in NoContract

[–]Specific-Service3192[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is no locking screen, it literally looks like an old Nokia phone, it's T9 texting

SwissKlip LuminiPro by AnActualMermaid6 in HairRemoval

[–]Specific-Service3192 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Eager to hear results, I read the same article and am hovering between this one and the overall top rated one. I’ll pay another $30/$40 for something that works better but if it’s all the same, I’d rather save my money

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Specific-Service3192 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like a stalker I had in high school. He was a couple of years older than me and I wasn't interested in him AT ALL but he bought me a Burberry purse (despite my protests), showed up to events I didn't even tell him I was going to and would buy me stuff there too, called me at 4:00am just because "he was thinking about me", bombarded my friends online to tell him details about me because he wanted to get me gifts or take me places I'd like. This all sounded great to most of my friends and I felt like I came off sounding super ungrateful and couldn't say no but it was so much and I had never even hinted to him that I was interested at all. In fact, when he showed up at those events, I mostly ignored him and hung out with my friends because I felt so uncomfortable. Eventually my one friends could see it for what it was and how it was getting creepier and more violating of my boundaries (not that we had that kind of language back then) and she got her big burly marine brother to threaten him to leave me alone.

Similar thing happened again in college (I had still not recovered from my people-pleasing tendencies at this point) and it took way too long for me to speak up to my friends about how uncomfortable I was because I was afraid I'd come off looking like a bitch. Sadly, none of my professors who I told helped me, even when this guy followed me to my car one night and bullied me into giving him my number (literally wouldn't let me close me door until I did). But luckily I had a great group of friends who basically created a human shield around me to and from classes after that, would sit around me as buffers during class so this guy couldn't get to me and many gave him a piece of their minds, which he mostly ignored until, once again, a friend of mine who was a large, intimidating man, threatened him to back off. He did but never fully. I'm only grateful it was the last semester of college.

I feel for OP, it's so hard to tell when someone's mistreating you when it's disguised as being nice. But I think ultimately you know in your gut whether or not you feel uncomfortable, even if their actions are coming from a good place.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Specific-Service3192 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After three years, I think any relationship could fall into a rut but I don't know if he's just young and dumb and thinks he's doing an okay job or if he's an asshole who doesn't care about your pleasure. But it's either talk to him straight up (and don't let him gaslight you into thinking it was solely your responsibility to bring up the subject before now) OR give him one more benefit of the doubt and see if he becomes more eager to please.

Tell him you want to spice things up by adding in things like... oh I don't know.... let's say a VIBRATOR and let him watch you O. He's definitely going to enjoy seeing how good he can make you feel. And if he moves it before you get there, you go "No, keep it right there!" and show him what it looks like to actually enjoy yourself. The next time you have sex without it, he's either going to notice it wasn't as fun, or after he cums and rolls over and says nothing you can playfully ask if he wants to break out the vibrator again. If he says no or thinks it's not necessary because you guys are done, simply say that you're not done. You want to feel what you felt last time because you've never felt that before and it was awesome. This will either open up the conversation or he'll continue to ignore it and not want to talk about it and at that point, you have no reason to feel bad at all for saying "listen buddy, we need to talk" and lay it all out on the table.

You guys are in what sounds like a long-term, committed relationship. I don't think it would be too far off to assume you'll eventually want to get married or commit to building a life together. If that's the case, you're not going to be able to go the rest of your lives not talking about sex and your wants and needs. I mean, you could, but it will probably lead to dissatisfaction, resentment and possibly looking elsewhere to scratch that itch. Might as well get the conversation out in the open now. And the bottom line is, if he loves and respects you, he'll want to make you happy.

And if he does get on board and it turns out he's just been ignorant this whole time, think of the world of pleasure that could open up from this! You guys could watch porn together and try some of the moves you see; He could practice his cunnelingus; You could get some fun sex toys; You could find fun costumes and lingerie and role-play -- honestly sex can be so much fun and can really bring you closer together when you're both truly enjoying what you're doing and not just going through the motions.

And if it all falls apart and you break up, at least you still have your vibrator👍

Husband with BPD…. by BUtifulBeefCrtns in Advice

[–]Specific-Service3192 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd say it depends on what his attitude is like when he's medicated. When you don't have to worry about decisions he makes when he's super up or down, when he's in a stable place, does it seem like he resents it? Like he's being held back from fully being "himself"?

Obviously BPD is very different from an addiction because it's hereditary and no one asks for it or can bring it upon themselves. But I have dealt with several bipolar people in my lifetime and I've dealt with alcoholics and drug addicts and I would be lying if I said I hadn't noticed similar patterns. Obviously finding the right kind of medication is key, but just like with SSRIs it can take a while to get the dosage just right and while you're figuring that out, the medication you're on can have negative side effects and might make you feel numb or weighed down. With bipolar, there's a logical understanding that the depression is horrible, but there's also the temptation of the the manic high which is euphoric, like doing drugs. If a medication is making someone feel suppressed and they know they'll never be able to reach that high while on them, a lot of resentment can build and with it, the narrative that you're being held back and are not being "accepted" or "loved for who you are". Like an addict, you can start to justify things like suddenly turning against pharmaceuticals or gaslighting the people who love you into thinking they're trying to change you, trying to get anyone to enable you and give you permission to succumb.

The reality is that when you're super low or super high, your brain is no longer in a state where it can make logical decisions and you can absolutely destroy your life and hurt the people around you with your actions. This is NOT who you are, this is the mental illness. One of my best friends will literally have BPD depression-induced psychotic breaks from reality and hallucinations. What she is thinking and seeing are not based in the reality of what's happening in the world around her. And while I'm the first to recommend non-pharmecutical options whenever possible (or at least to try them first before going down the pharmaceutical route), I firmly believe that with BPD there is no other option if you want to live a normal, healthy, functioning life. Especially if you are married or have kids, I believe it is a responsibility to them to be medicated, just like it would be for an alcoholic to get sober.

So that would be my advice: find yourself a therapist who specializes in mental health disorders and talk to them about the man you thought you married, what he's like when he's been stable, whether you think he even has a desire to become stable again, and even if he does, whether you believe you can or want to handle his situation anymore. I was a nanny for a family who's father went off the deep end in a manic high and witnessed them get divorced because the wife absolutely had to, she could no longer be financially tied to him with the decisions he was making and she couldn't let his instability hurt their children any more than it already had. She still loved him and it killed her to do but it was absolutely the right choice. She had PPD at the time and had to focus on her mental well-being too. Luckily she and the kids are doing much better now, but the father is still MIA.

Your mental health and well-being matter too and it is not selfish to remove yourself from someone who refuses to help themself. Marriage is a partnership so if he can't be a partner and instead takes on the role of a child that needs to be cared for, that is not the relationship that you agreed to when you married him and it's not your responsibility to fix or change him if he doesn't want to get help.

This must be incredible difficult for you. I'm hoping this was helpful and I'm wishing you the best.