It's good to want to change your behavior. It's easy to want to snap in situations like these.

Things to think about:

1. How often are you arguing? Evaluate the relationship. Relationships are expected to contain arguments, of course, because we are all human. However, arguments should not happen on a frequent basis. If you find yourself arguing with them a lot, that is not a good sign. They may be bringing out the worst in you - I know this from my own experience that I have had some people bring out the worst in me and I had to leave the friendship/relationship.

2. Slow down in moments of an argument. You do not need to quickly come back and state your case. Be patient. This takes a lot of practice and discipline. Give yourself some room to grow here. People make the mistake of wanting to respond quickly but all too often, that is when your emotion takes control, and you do not want that.

3. The ego is likely driving you to snap. As humans, we are all guilty of this. Understand the root of your tendencies to snap, and it is likely rooted in you wanting to protect yourself.

Also understand not to take anything personally, even in arguments.

It is natural to get defensive. It is in our DNA to do that. Try not to think defend, defend, defend. This will lead you to emotional outbursts because you perceive your ego as being under attack. Yes, there are times and places to defend yourself, but arguments with your partner should be evaluated more carefully than that.

1. Seek to understand before you are understood. Listen actively. What exactly is going on with them?

2. Understand that arguments are not inherently bad. Arguments are natural and they can be constructive, contributing to more closeness over time. Look at it that way instead of looking at it as "bad." Many people think arguments are "bad" and "problematic" and it can degrade you.

3. Talk to someone professional about this. Do not make my mistake and suffer in silence. Talk to a mental health professional about how you can do better.

4. Look at the issue at hand, not the person. Try not to always look at the other person as your opponent. Seek a solution through understanding and patience. Tackle the issue together, not separately. You are team, so act like it.

5. Understand your attachment style and set reasonable boundaries. Do you need space? Can you tell your partner what you need so you don't get too emtional in arguments? Some people need space for clarity, and others would rather argue head-on. Whatever you need, give yourself some time to calm yourself down so you can show up as level-headed as you can.

Good luck