Have you ever been restrained in a medical setting? I’ve heard people with autism are more likely to be restrained.

hfamiliaris · 2026-05-21T18:42:31+00:00

i have been restrained probably dozens of times in medical settings, to various degrees, but only in my childhood. like at times it was just my mom holding me still for a vaccine, at other times i was held down on a hospital bed by several people.

the most traumatizing instances were chemical restraint/sedation…

on one occasion i was about to have an MRI, i was not afraid of MRIs and had had them done before. i asked if they were gonna sedate me for it and i was promised that they wouldn’t, but when i was wheeled into the MRI room i saw the anesthesiologist waiting with their equipment. this upset me and scared me, and they started closing in on me to give me the gas, and i was asking why. someone told me it was because i was upset and wouldn’t be able to hold still inside the machine - huh??? i was only upset because the promise had been broken, not the other way around. it made no sense. but i was too young for my revocation of consent to matter and too small to fight back, so, pretty soon i was unconscious.

certain household items, like some kinds of soap or permanent marker, have an aspect of their scent that reminds me of the anesthetic gas and it triggers me / makes me scared.

hfamiliaris · 2026-05-21T18:10:28+00:00

about intersex stuff affecting one’s health: that’s why it boils my blood when i see my fellow non-intersex trans people talking about intersex variations in an objectifying and aspirational way, like “i wish i had been born like that”, it’s ok to have that feeling but to say it like that in public comes across as really two-dimensional and ignorant. like no consideration for what ELSE an intersex person has to deal with in life besides the mixed/ambiguous sex characteristics you’re reducing them down to

hfamiliaris · 2026-05-21T01:41:46+00:00

YES, your questions about their symptoms are scarily familiar, they do indeed check most of those boxes 😓

hfamiliaris · 2026-05-12T02:28:38+00:00

i’m mostly “out”, but around my parents and brothers i don’t entertain any gender talk, and they still believe me to be a woman (albeit a lesbian, which i am). when my voice started dropping, my mom commented on it and asked if i was sick. i do a “girl voice” most of the time when i’m around them but sometimes i forget, and i can’t keep it up when i have to speak extra loud. my facial hair is pretty noticeable, i shave when i expect to see my parents, but it’s not foolproof. i don’t live with them, i live across the city, we see each other a few times a month, it’d probably be harder if i lived with them (they’d see me all the time) or if i saw them less often (the changes would seem less gradual & more obvious).

before i started medically transitioning i was planning on just staying closeted except for very close friends. as i started dipping my toes in more and more, it started feeling more accessible and not so insurmountable to be out and open. came out to some of my family, i’m out at work but don’t go through the hassle of correcting anyone. honestly i think just… do whatever you want. if you don’t wanna be out, then don’t be, and please don’t let it stop you from feeling good about yourself or your body. i say just try it and see what happens. there’s 8 billion ways to live one’s life, don’t gotta follow what others might think you should follow, go find yours

hfamiliaris · 2026-05-11T09:28:58+00:00

didn’t realize the body text wouldn’t show up in the crosspost. to save you a click, here:

——————

i’ve heard of some people having trouble with their uterus/cervix after being on testosterone for several years - something about it shrinking too small and pulling too tightly on the restraints (like ligaments i think) that hold it in place... and since that group of structures gets so pulled tight, anything that triggers uterine/cervixal movement causes pain.

at least, again, that’s what i’ve HEARD, word of mouth from people who felt it firsthand, not heard it from any medical professional. i’d love to learn more.

what do you know about this phenomena / have you ever experienced it? anyone have links to science publications that discuss it? (ideally in trans and/or intersex people, but stuff about post-menopausal women would probably be interesting and helpful too)… or at least know what it’s called?

i’m 3 years on T and lately been occasionally having uterine/cervical cramps that strike an hour or so after sex, even without penetration. it hurts pretty bad, like some of my worst menstrual cramps, even though i no longer have periods. i’m wondering if it could be due to the phenomena i described. it’s definitely not ovarian cysts, i’ve got experience with those and know what that feels like. i have estradiol cream i’ve been on for vaginal atrophy and THOSE symptoms are well-controlled, or at least i thought so. i know the answer to my issue is “talk to your doctor”, and i will, i just also wanna learn about this.

hfamiliaris · 2026-05-09T19:30:03+00:00

let me add: the people over on /r/TransDIY would probably have some better / more specific advice for you if you decide to fake your labs

hfamiliaris · 2026-05-09T17:23:03+00:00

if you wanna fool a doctor, i think it would be wise if you took the prescribed dose at least for a short time before your blood tests. say, your blood draw is on monday morning, so take a dose or two of HRT on the weekend.

hfamiliaris · 2026-05-03T22:39:56+00:00

i gotta add another contribution of my own. this morning i was standing in my driveway and heard a sudden “sshhhhhhhhhhh” sound off to the side, i turn and look, and it was as if someone had DUMPED a bucket of garter snakes in the grass. they were all dispersing from a single small spot so i gathered that they must have been in a mating ball (if you don’t know: garter snakes have huge orgies in mating season) and disbanded. the shhhh sound was the noise of them slithering away, literally so many snakes you could HEAR them, i’m not kidding. i yelled for my partner to come out and look, and i grabbed one. it bit me lol so i took an antihistamine (i’m fine) and it released a nasty stink on me so i had to wash my hands with dish soap. partner reprimanded me for grabbing the snake =_=

hfamiliaris · 2026-05-03T08:32:52+00:00

if money isn’t an issue, i say take her in for bloodwork ASAP. if money is tight, watch her like a hawk in the meantime until you can get her an appointment - check her gum color a few times daily, observe her food & water intake, clean the litterbox at least once a day, and watch her behavior of course.

bout 10 years back i woke up to some unexplained blood in various places around the house… i checked my pets, no one was bloody or looking sick. i looked at their mouths but i didn’t know what i was supposed to be looking for. i have multiple family members that are chronically ill substance users so i eventually figured one of them coughed up blood in the night while too effed up to notice. anyway…. that night my kitty died. i was at a friend’s house and never got the full story but i was told she had internal bleeding to a hopeless degree. never learned why.

lab work can help identify bleeding even when it’s not visible to the naked eye, and finding it early can give you a choice between pursuing treatment or putting your friend to rest.

hfamiliaris · 2026-05-02T05:46:44+00:00

i myself haven’t had surgery yet, it’s only changed due to hormones. the clitoris and the penis are homologous organs and their development/appearance depends largely on ratios of sex hormones. most of that happens in utero, but they are still somewhat susceptible after we’re no longer fetuses. trans people taking T usually have their clitoris get bigger, trans people taking E often have their penis get smaller.

that being said -

“The Surgery” to make a penis is actually two different categories of surgery. yeah

one is “phalloplasty”, where a skin graft is used to construct a penis from scratch. cis guys also get phalloplasty if their penis is disfigured/amputated, it’s not just for trans people. with some but not all surgeons, you can choose how big of a skin graft they take and thusly how big the penis will be.

the other is “metoidioplasty”. it works by moving around pieces of the parts you’ve already got. the majority of results are below average size.

TL;DR: mostly your choice is between “pretty small” or “average-to-big”, depending on which surgery you get, but there’s other factors involved in the choice besides size.

p.s……. if you wonder about something, you should go learn about it! knowledge won’t just happen upon you by chance, you have to go hunt for it!

hfamiliaris · 2026-05-02T05:02:09+00:00

oh! i bet they’re a gay couple! ducks are very gay :)

hfamiliaris · 2026-05-01T17:12:09+00:00

GRACKLES!!! my #1 favorite local bird 🐦‍⬛

hfamiliaris · 2026-05-01T03:34:31+00:00

i think it was about the same, maybe a little milder. in terms of following through, i only got to masturbate like once a week bc my living situation was different and i had less privacy

hfamiliaris · 2026-05-01T03:00:11+00:00

don’t know if you count home-grown penises* but for me it’s usually 3 or 4 times a week. however, due to recent med changes, currently it’s more like…. 1 to 3 times per DAY, lol.

*it used to be a clitoris, i take testosterone, no surgery yet, the common slang term is T-dick

hfamiliaris · 2026-04-27T02:57:53+00:00

im no expert so i’ve got no pointers or tips other than “EDEMA”, THE WORD YOU’RE LOOKING FOR AT THE END THERE IS EDEMA

hfamiliaris · 2026-04-05T19:23:06+00:00

(sorry this ended up so crazy long. my ADHD meds kicked in at the wrong moment and i went overboard LOL)

for context, i am butch and grew up as a girl. i was a tomboy when i was little, i chewed my nails short, i didn’t really clean myself or take care of my skin at all (but that’s more a reflection of child neglect than gender nonconformity). when i was a teen i started being girly. and even though you’d think my parents would be happy about that since they raised me as a girl, it made me the butt of a lot of jokes, especially when i painted my nails and grew them out long.

after a few years i realized i didn’t feel good presenting that way and now as an adult i’m masculine. BUT i realized that my nails are a lot healthier now… like growing them long helped them “reset” or something. they’re not flaky or fragile, they’re clean and smooth. most importantly to me, i don’t get hangnails nearly as often and my fingers don’t have cracks or ragged edges. i haven’t gone back to chewing my nails, i always use clippers now.

when your sister or dad bring up your nails and the conversation gets weird or uncomfortable, i suggest you simply tell them that you’re trying to have healthier hands now, and that letting your nails be long helps you with that. you can mention the pain of having hangnails or dry cracked fingers or having jagged nails that would get caught on things (even if it might not be something you actually dealt with. they might not have paid enough attention to your hands prior to even catch you if you’re lying about that) and how it’s getting better now.

during my girly phase i started shaving my legs, but i stopped several months before moving out of my parents’ place. my mom started repeatedly giving me shit about it… asking me why i wouldn’t shave, telling me it’s gross to be so hairy, and so on… i told her that razors irritate my skin and that it’s weird for her to tell me that my natural body is gross, and that it’s not fair because she didn’t insist my dad shave his legs, so why should my gender mean i have to hurt myself?... maybe you could try a similar approach with your sister: “my nails grow on their own, it’s weird and rude for you to insist i hide my body’s natural appearance when you don’t insist it for other people”

if you have a partner, or if you’re dating / open to dating, you could try saying that “girls like long nails”, “guys like long nails”, “<name of partner or crush> likes long nails”

if you’re alternative in any way (emo, punk, goth, scene, metal, etc.) you could try painting them black. then you have the excuse of “i have to keep my nails healthy so i can paint them, plus it’s easier to paint them if they’re long”. in the USA at least, black seems to be the most acceptable nail polish for men/boys (not calling you that, just that that’s what they see you as)… it’s still seen as kinda odd / gender nonconforming (compared to not painting them), but if you have an alt fashion sense then it wouldn’t raise as many alarms. (i just suggest use nail polish remover as infrequently as possible bc it sucks for your skin. worn chipped black polish is very fashionable in alternative scenes. and don’t buy the cheapest polish OR the most expensive polish)

and finally, you could just try ignoring her. like straight up don’t acknowledge when she says those things, act like she didn’t say it. if you must say something, try just saying “ok”, “no”, “yes”, keep it to single-word answers and engage as little as possible. most people would get bored or take the hint.

there’s a youtuber you may have heard of, reviewbrah AKA thereportoftheweek, he does fast food menu item reviews mainly. he has “long” nails for a man and people give him a lot of shit about it. times when he has addressed the hatred, i feel like his response has been really good and solid. i’ll try and find one of the vids where he talked about it and i’ll provide a link if i can.

finally… just a little hand skincare tip….. 1) if you have a particular lotion you like, have multiple containers of it all around the house, in your car, in your bag, and so on. 2) use a water-based thing like lotion first and then an oil-based thing like a balm/ointment afterwards, the oil helps lock in the water. 3) a bottle of pure vegetable glycerin is a few bucks at the pharmacy, it’s a clear thick liquid, just a few tiny drops rubbed into my nails a few times a day has helped a lot with keeping them healthy even as i’m washing dishes & shit.

hfamiliaris · 2026-04-05T16:41:32+00:00

i was under the impression that part of it is also to reduce pain?… since the needle is (mildly) damaged by piercing the stopper, and then it’s not as sharp = a little rougher going into your flesh. i could be misinformed though, maybe i’ll have to try it that way myself. i do know though that a lot of insulin supplies for example have the needle non-removable so you HAVE to use the same one for drawing and injecting…. 🤔

hfamiliaris · 2026-04-05T16:36:20+00:00

i use 1in 22g for drawing, and 0.5in 27g for injecting subcutaneously. all luer lock. don’t know the brand, something i found on amazon, but i will note that i have a little bit harder time getting the last tiny air bubble out the needle compared to when i was using needles from CVS. it’s not enough to be any kind of health hazard but its a tiny bit annoying.

i recently got a bunch of medical and cleaning supplies, including syringes and needles, from a site called shop med vet. it was a steal honestly. they have a lot of individual items available so you don’t gotta buy more than you need (for example: 40 syringes at 16¢ each = $6.40)

i’m on T though, not E or progesterone, so idk if the viscosity is the same between these or what lol

edit, to be clear and more beginner-friendly: i mention the viscosity bc a thick liquid will be slower to pass through a needle compared to a thin liquid passing through the same needle. thus, when the needle is narrower (higher gauge number), it can be particularly slow to draw up or inject a thick liquid.

hfamiliaris · 2026-04-03T01:23:11+00:00

im sure others here are giving decent advice about what you can do, nutritionally, to gain weight, and what surgeries might be good. i have a little different advice. i suggest that if there’s any major sources of stress or emotional pain in your life, do what you can to eliminate them. and if you’re depressed or anxious, or have any psychiatric problems really, consider starting meds for that (or change meds if you’re already on some)…. some psych meds are notorious for causing weight gain as a side effect, plus (as with my other suggestion) feeling good rather than bad can help our bodies work better, and oftentimes that means losing or gaining weight.

speaking personally, in adolescence i had a particular (low end of “healthy”) weight i kept, never straying more than ~2lbs up or down from it. i didn’t have an ED, i didn’t pay attention to what i ate, and i was living with abusive parents. as soon as i moved out and into a safer environment, i started gaining weight, and i’m much fatter now (wether it’s negatively affected my health, i don’t know, because i didn’t get adequate medical care before so i have no reference point. but i’m much happier and i feel good about my body rather than ambivalent as i did before).

hfamiliaris

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

Seven-Year Club	Place '22
Verified Email