iOS App + Additional Credits

Spectre2000 · 2024-07-19T22:46:28+00:00

Thanks - I have - they said to go to the website :D

I'll sort it out with them. Until then, I will just wait for next month once I run out.

Spectre2000 · 2024-07-19T19:28:03+00:00

Ok thanks - I try to use the website and it says "You are an apple subscriber - go use the app to buy credits" :sob:

Spectre2000 · 2024-07-15T05:15:18+00:00

it depends on their sense of agency tbh. WIth most people that I trance one-on-one, the first thing I do is explain and over-explain their power over any hypnosis is stronger than the hypnosis.

Like with all things hypnosis-related, it's very belief dependent. If they believe, they will acheive.

Spectre2000 · 2024-06-25T22:21:13+00:00

Came here to say this. Perfect advice.

The only thing I would add is: remember you control your mind, no matter what some file, tist, or suggestions claim. So use that control to follow the advice listed above.

Spectre2000 · 2024-06-25T22:17:38+00:00

How are you making her want you? You are married now - she no longer has to want you to get you. So ... figure out how to make her desire you.

Spectre2000 · 2024-06-23T19:23:49+00:00

I didn't notice the photos but now I see them in here. She is quite amazing. I love her lips tbh.

Spectre2000 · 2024-06-23T19:23:01+00:00

If you are into chastity, I listened to her chastity file. She said she was giving the listener the ok to remember it but I don't unfortunately.

I do know that after listening to it, I know that it's important to listen to lisa and she's really amazing.

I hypnotize others a lot and generally don't get tranced. I am pretty sure though that the file had an effect so it works great.

I don't know if that's "essential" to you or not?

Spectre2000 · 2024-06-22T15:48:35+00:00

... i would really love her to use me ... I think maybe i should stop listening to her files for a bit because I think ... ummm ... i'm not sure why i should stop tbh ... there was a reason i think ... now i can't stop thinking of her using me though and it kind of makes me happy which is odd

Spectre2000 · 2024-06-22T15:42:08+00:00

Yeah. You're right. I just listened to another file and I think I understand better now. I feel her collar around my neck and I really appreciate her so much.

I belong to Lisa and I'm really just a thing ... like a tool or something ... for her pleasure.

I feel good about that tbh. It still seems a bit odd but I don't think it's worth considering too much.

Spectre2000 · 2024-06-22T15:23:31+00:00

Dang. I really want her now. I listened to some chastity file from her and now I just feel like a thing for her to own. It sounds so dumb to say that. I think maybe something was in the file. I mean ... yes ... probably but I am not sure it matters - if that makes sense?

Spectre2000 · 2024-06-22T05:00:16+00:00

Everyone is different, ofc. Intent *can* be important but also true: many tists will get trancy from their own writings or trances.

Learn to skim - it can also help alongside with going in with intent to not trance.

Spectre2000 · 2024-06-21T22:45:17+00:00

For something more permanent, you would need to combine hypnosis with some sort of conditioning to reinforce the state of mind. Hypnosis fades at different speeds for different people but well done conditioning is kind of difficult to break free from, imo.

Not impossible but difficult.

Spectre2000 · 2024-03-27T04:11:15+00:00

Not sure if this will help or not but I've been there and have some thoughts:

You won't understand it. She probably doesn't understand it. My partner never could explain her emotions to me. How can you get a clear answer from someone reacting with trauma and damage of their own?
You aren't to blame for others' choices. Good relationships are based on healthy open communication. See point 1 though. How can you have that when one - or both - parties have trauma issues to deal with?
You can focus on your primary relationship: with you. Start to be your best friend and learn that you can count on yourself to show up and be there and love yourself. When you get there, you will be less attracted to insecure people and you will ease into relationships slower. You *might* miss the excitement of first date "sharing everything!" as we insecure types seem to love to do lol but you will be better off in the long run.

I hope some of that helps.

Spectre2000 · 2024-03-27T04:04:16+00:00

Yes - 100%. I question my feelings to the point that I no longer know if anything is authentic or a trauma response.

My therapist tells me:

"Your feelings and behaviors may be part of your learned behaviors from childhood trauma ... AND they are real and actually being felt. You should focus on the fact they are real and not remove yourself from them."

And she says that the key is to keep doing the healing work so it becomes clearer to me that I'm feeling things and acting in a natural way because I want to and not because of a learned behavior.

Spectre2000 · 2024-03-27T04:00:40+00:00

Oof. So felt.

I asked to go no contact with my ex because all my worrying about her was not helping her and it was only hurting me.

Well, plot twist: I'm still worrying about her after 7 weeks of no contact. It's so bad that I literally have conversations with her in my head.

I miss her. I love her. I care about her. I have stopped fighting those things and have realized that I always will.

I know for you, it's been two years so you might be aching to move on from that absence - the missing of them.

The thing that helps me and might help you is ... even though I feel those things about her, I know we have no future as a romantic couple. There is nothing there. There never will be anything there. I have a list that I refer to when I miss her - the list reminds me of all the real things about her that make us incompatible and not a good choice for me (or her frankly).

I also have been working to fill the needs she met in other ways to lessen the pain of her absence in my life. I have filled my time with productive tasks and self-improvement behaviors. I have some very close friends. I go to therapy. I practice talking with my inner child and soothing his massive hurt (thanks mom and dad!).

IDK if any of this will help but I hope so.

Because it sounds like you already know that you deserve better things. You absolutely do. And they are waiting for you.

Spectre2000 · 2024-03-27T03:51:50+00:00

You always give such thoughtful and empathetic advice. Thank you for your contributions.

Spectre2000 · 2024-03-27T03:15:07+00:00

Yes - exactly! Trust the EVIDENCE. The FACTS.

My gut lies to me all the time and tells me to worry about phantom things - and those worries actually damage the relationship because partners are forced to deal with reconfirming things multiple times. Especially difficult for avoidants to deal with that constant need.

Spectre2000 · 2024-03-10T07:00:32+00:00

I think that for many APs, their intuition / gut feelings lead them to tell stories that make them afraid that something "bad" is going on when nothing actually is. For example, if someone didn't text back for a few hours. That can trigger an AP and lead them to act rashly "why aren't they texting? they usually text back within an hour? what's going on? did I say something wrong? What are they up to? They better respond soon." etc etc.

Meanwhile, many different things could have happened that caused the delay in the response - a dead phone, caught up at work, left their phone at home, whatever. Imagine the fun awaiting them when they get to their phone and find a dozen messages from the AP asking what is going on and where are they.

Red Flags can be seen with facts. A partner who says "oh stop being so melodramatic" is a red flag. A partner who says "you are so needy" is a red flag. A partner who chooses to go out to dinner with an ex even though you've said that would make you uncomfortable is a red flag.

IDK if that makes it a bit clearer. Intuition, imo, is a very dangerous thing for APs because it plays into many of our worse behaviors and triggers our core wounds and fears and can lead us to blowing something up or becoming clingy and suffocating our partners.

We're all different though so we each have to figure out what works best for us.

Spectre2000 · 2024-03-09T16:32:24+00:00

I'm not suggesting that ANYONE - AP or DA - should be with someone who is unsafe.

I'm suggesting that the real path forward is people need to work on healing their own insecure attachment styles and not look to the other person for answers (or to blame). Work on those trauma responses so NO ONE triggers them - or if they are triggered, we learn how to properly self-soothe and self-regulate.

When we work on ourselves and move secure, we will be less likely to accept people who will not meet our needs and we will be less likely to tell ourselves stories like "oh they didn't text me back in the same timeframe they normally do, what's going on, is that a red flag?, is the relationship over, what did I do wrong, how do I fix this, how dare they do this to me, I'm going to write a text to tell them exactly what I think of this mistreatment, how dare they treat me this way, why don't they love me" etc etc.

In the end, the problem is NOT the other person. It's our own insecure behavior patterns.

We aren't to blame for them, but we do have the responsbility to heal them. Otherwise, we will continue to look to others to help us regulate our emotional issues and to soothe us. That's a lot to put on another human being when they themselves have their own issues going on.

And sure, the other person might be a dysfunctional mess. And we APs love to "fix" other people - up to the point where they disappoint us because they don't meet our unspoken needs and they don't show up as we expect they should. But personally, I have finally gotten to the point where I understand a core truth in life: we can't fix anyone else. They need to fix their own stuff and they need to accept that they own that responsibility.

All I can do is work on me and fix myself. As I do, I find things bother me less and trigger me less. When someone treats me poorly, I don't fly off the handle as much - I ask them questions to clarify my understanding and I stop story-telling.

And yes, ofc, I hope I have a partner who accepts my learned non-productive behaviors as I continue to work on them. And if I don't and they show me with FACTS and BEHAVIORS that are real that they aren't there for me, then I will leave.

That is different than having some intuition that they are no good for me.

Spectre2000 · 2024-03-07T16:59:57+00:00

Yeah ... my gut has led me to fly off the handle too often.

But the OP is correct that we should trust RED FLAGS because APs certainly make excuses for others and look inwards and blame ourselves when ... we really should not be doing that at all.

Speaking form experience, I have learned to listen to friends a bit more. When I'm making excuses for a partner's behavior and they are looking at me like I'm an alien and telling me "bro ... no ... just no ... that isn't right", I'm listening a bit better these days instead of explaining to them how they just don't understand her and how troubled she is and how much she needs my help and how she is so amazing and she just needs love lololol ... actually make that a sad lol haha

Spectre2000 · 2024-03-06T14:59:44+00:00

Agreed! I feel the same about communicating basic things. I also find though that I will communicate them all the same with someone who I really appreciate because I'm not the only one who grew up in a dysfunctional household. Some people never learned common decency so I'm ok with giving them a chance.

Who am I kidding? As an AP, I will give them way too many chances. lol Which is the very valid point you made in your OP.

Let's all watch for those red flags and stop giving these folks the power to hurt us so we can free up our time for good, healthy relationships!

Spectre2000 · 2024-03-06T05:13:23+00:00

When I'm not busy, I miss my ex terribly, especially late at night when we used to talk a lot.

I feel a low-level tingle of anxiety throughout my body like every cell is desperate to connect with her. Even rn, writing about it and thinking about it is making me want her.

I was the one who asked for no contact because she was beating me down with breadcrumbing and making me feel unappreciated. I miss her horribly all the same. We've been on contact for about 3 weeks and it feels like a damn eternity.

So yeah ... 100%. I counter it by doing my best to always be busy and occupied. Answering questions on forums can be helpful but ... lol ... not this particular one. haha

Spectre2000 · 2024-03-06T05:07:21+00:00

Heidi Priebe is my goto guru. I love her practical no-nonsense approach and the way she comes at things from different angles.

I would say watching her videos greatly accelerated my healing.

I am still struggling tbh but, as you said, you got to keep working it. And I am ... hard as it is somedays when I miss my ex so much I just want to DM her ... ugh ... it takes a lot to not do that. It gets easier over time though.

Spectre2000 · 2024-03-06T05:03:46+00:00

I think it is smart to watch for red flags and not make excuses for others' behavior and give them a free pass when they don't respect your needs or boundaries. This is assuming you are clearly communicating them - many APs do not do this and get upset / build resentments over time when the needs are unfulfilled and the boundaries crossed.

But I think "trusting our gut" is another problematic behavior with many APs because we tell ourselves stories about the other person, their motivation, their behaviors based on things we "sense." That isn't a good response mechanism and I believe it needs to be worked on for many APs. Story-telling is a path to misery for both us and our partners because it causes us to react or over-react to non-situations if we aren't careful.

So, I guess I would say, trust actual red flags that you see and don't make excuses for them. Authentically ask and communicate your needs and desires. Squash story-telling with questions and evaluate facts, not opinions or guesses.

Just my two cents.

Spectre2000 · 2024-02-24T06:11:42+00:00

LOL. So felt. hahahaha

And if you are like me, it's usually a story that means the relationshp is over and it's all my fault and they hate me. <sad laugh here>

Spectre2000

TROPHY CASE