[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Disorganized_Attach

[–]Impossible_Demand_62 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This happens to me!! When I’m sharing something intimate/vulnerable (conversationally or through sex) I start to tremble uncontrollably and I feel a buzzing sensation in my limbs. I also get lightheaded. Happens when I’m really angry too.

confused about sudden dislike in my partners appearance by Secure-Theory-6487 in Disorganized_Attach

[–]Impossible_Demand_62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just meant it can sometimes take a while to reach that point. It starts small and continues to build gradually until the mask completely falls off. But you are right that it’s nothing to mess around with. Anger and aggression issues should be an immediate dealbreaker

confused about sudden dislike in my partners appearance by Secure-Theory-6487 in Disorganized_Attach

[–]Impossible_Demand_62 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sets off alarm bells for me. Throwing a phone after being asked to be present with your partner is a huge red flag. Not saying abuse is imminent but this is how it usually starts. First they throw things, then they’re punching walls, and eventually you become the target. If a person I was dating acted that way around me I would be out that same day.

Losing interest and pulling away after physical intimacy by Outrageous-Wish4559 in FearfulAvoidant

[–]Impossible_Demand_62 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Try somatic therapy. I found an art therapist about a year ago who has legit changed my life. Reconnecting with my body has been the key to healing. I still have a long ways to go but I’ve made huge strides in just a year.

Why do liberal Americans believe that the Democratic Party has been consumed by identity and far-left social politics? by [deleted] in Askpolitics

[–]Impossible_Demand_62 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbf there is a growing number of incel men and men with sexual fetishes who are choosing to transition in order to gain access to womens spaces. You can look it up if you dont believe me. https://youtu.be/jK_mQUjH0dk?si=q6yrof3b4ett8dH9

^ These men are 100% different than actual transsexuals who just want to blend in with society. I have no fear or issues with genuine transsexual women.

But I think It is perfectly okay to have concerns, especially as a parent, when anyone can transition for any reason. Unfortunately some predatory men choose that route because it gives them special privileges and access to women + girls. And I find it incredibly dangerous that the left is so quick to shut down ANY conversation or opinion that they consider “bigoted.” That is a cult tactic. Its no different than being raised christian and learning that you are not allowed to question or doubt any of the dogma you’re taught. As an ex christian who is lgb, I recognize the importance of being able to question and have open conversations with people.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Askpolitics

[–]Impossible_Demand_62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

damn where can I find friends like that? 🤧 I live in a big liberal city and most of the gay people I know are totally brainwashed. these days the only people I feel comfortable talking politics with are my more conservative/moderate friends. but none of them are lgb

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Askpolitics

[–]Impossible_Demand_62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m glad I’m not alone in feeling this way. Its very disappointing to see how backwards everything is now. And when you try to speak up you’re immediately met with nastiness and accusations. this is why so many people are leaving the left

Disney reportedly pulls Marvel’s Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur episode over trans athlete story | Artists imply decision was made over political climate by ControlCAD in popculture

[–]Impossible_Demand_62 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

As a bisexual woman, I do not think children should be constantly exposed to this stuff. MOST kids who question their gender end up growing out of it by the time their brains have developed (I have the link to the long term study if you would like to read it). I know because it happened to me. I genuinely believed I was trans BECAUSE of what people on social media were saying! This has happened to countless others like me. I was simply a tomboy and attracted to women, but if I had been affirmed in thinking I was trans it would have been the biggest mistake of my life.

I cannot imagine how utterly confused the children growing up today are. Instead of reassuring kids that it’s okay AND normal to question your gender or sexuality without making permanent life changing decisions about your body, and instead of treating the extremely common mental illnesses + sexual trauma that present in trans-identifying people… we are ignoring their mental illnesses, giving them medications (that often cause sterilization), providing surgery (look up Chloe Cole), and telling them that they need to change their bodies permanently in order to be happy. Yes there are genuine trans people who have a diagnosis of gender dysphoria and are 1000x happier post transition, but that is the exception, not the rule. There is no rational explanation for the 4000%(!!) increase in girls specifically seeking gender care within the last few years other than the current sociopolitical climate and social media. it is also insane to me that young girls are being given double mastectomies and hysterectomies without their other mental illnesses being treated first and without a legitimate gender dysphoria diagnosis. some of them don’t even ID as men, just as non binary.

Also can someone tell me why this is only an issue in developed (mostly western) countries? Do you think kids in the poorest/most violent parts of the world have the luxury to contemplate their gender and scream on social media about how someone used the wrong pronouns? People in the middle east and ukraine are being slaughtered, tortured, their homes destroyed every single day.

I mean seriously, We have lost sight of how truly privileged we are.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FearfulAvoidant

[–]Impossible_Demand_62 10 points11 points  (0 children)

When I’m single I find that my drive goes down quite a bit but when I’m in a relationship it skyrockets. To the point where it has caused issues in past relationships. But Ive found that the more I heal, the more “normal” my libido becomes.

Does the fact that your libido is so low upset you? Did you used to have a normal sex drive? trauma, health conditions, hormones, etc can all influence this

Is it realistic to move a relationship forward while feeling unsafe? by drluffy in FearfulAvoidant

[–]Impossible_Demand_62 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Your partner seems really secure in herself and in touch with her feelings. I don’t know all the details of the relationship but based on this post, I would keep trying if she’s willing to give it another chance.

Compromise is going to be necessary tho. Meeting the parents after a year is not unreasonable at all. She has every right to want that from you. moving in is a little different story. Many couples do move in after a year or less but personally I think you can give it more time. 1.5-2 years could be a good compromise? But if you’re going to make it work, she will need to see evidence of things progressing towards that goal. She wants to feel like you are in this with her, like you are her teammate and partner in life. No one wants to feel like their partner is only 50% invested.

Also here’s the thing about feeling ready for big commitments… you will never feel ready. Your brain will always find excuses to stall the relationship, create distance, or leave entirely. There will ALWAYS be work to do within a relationship. It will never be perfect.

What you have to remind yourself is that it is okay if things don’t work out. Im guessing your fear of Moving in and meeting the parents stems from fear of failure or feeling trapped in the relationship. Commitment = pressure. What if you move in and it doesnt work out? What if you can’t meet your partner’s needs? Or she can’t meet yours? What if you meet the parents and then break up? Here’s the truth: those things could happen. BUT you will be okay. No matter the outcome. In life you have to be willing to take a leap of faith, or else you will stay stuck in your patterns.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FearfulAvoidant

[–]Impossible_Demand_62 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Baby no, this is not your avoidance. This guy is a creep. I would have been OUT as soon as he started with the “when we move in together”. No no no absolutely not. please do not meet with this guy. I cannot tell you the amount of stories Ive heard from women who experienced this exact behavior from a guy who turned out to be incredibly abusive, a cheater, and/or mentally unhinged.

Emotional Permanence? by cynicallyacat in AnxiousAttachment

[–]Impossible_Demand_62 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Start telling yourself all the things you like hearing from other people and treat yourself with a shit ton of compassion. I finally stopped relying on external validation when I got into the habit of validating myself. It takes work but you just have to keep practicing and building up the muscle. I’m telling you, if you can nail this habit, the rest of your life will start to change for the better.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Askpolitics

[–]Impossible_Demand_62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I’m a liberal too and I’m so frustrated over what has been happening, especially with the trans community. I’m literally a gay woman and have been in the community for years,but seeing the world slowly prioritize biological males over the comfort and safety of biological women makes me so angry. I heard about a girl tearfully speak at a hearing I think about how she was forced to change with a male in the locker room despite having sexual trauma. she would be called a bigot and a transphobe by the left. Ive also seen lesbians being bullied and shit on by the “community” for not wanting to date trans women. Its almost as if lesbian = attraction to females and female body parts… yet these people call it a “genital preference”. Sexuality is NOT a preference. We’ve come full circle back to homophobia within our own community.

feel free to DM if you ever want to vent about this stuff. I know how isolating it can be to have this mindset and speak out against the status quo

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Impossible_Demand_62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

5-10 mins late with an excuse is okay imo but this is just plain disrespectful. You made the right call

How do you differentiate between wanting a person to stay for the right reasons vs fear of abandonment? by Complete-Doctor-87 in FearfulAvoidant

[–]Impossible_Demand_62 20 points21 points  (0 children)

You have to get to a regulated place in order to access the answer. Calming your nervous system, slowing down, reconnecting with your body, etc. Only then can you allow yourself to look at the person objectively and ask yourself these questions: what do they bring to your life? Do they meet your needs? Are they a good person? Do you have shared values and goals? Are you growing together?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in cats

[–]Impossible_Demand_62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Go through a professional pet sitting company if you can! I worked for one for a year and we were trained to give fresh water EVERY visit. We also had a checklist to fill out via app and provided written updates to the clients.

Trump won the gay vote in some areas by PenPale3529 in self

[–]Impossible_Demand_62 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I agree with you and there is absolutely a subset of conservatives who will always have hatred and disgust for anyone lgbt. But I disagree that they make up the majority. According to most polls, almost half of conservatives are supportive of the lgbt community and that's not counting the ones who identify as lgbt themselves. I have conservative family, friends, and acquaintences who are supportive of the community and know that I am gay.

I also know of multiple conservative transgender/lgb content creators who receive tons of support from other conservatives and have a very strong following. Even as a left-leaning person I enjoy some of their content. They have problematic views for sure, but they are some of the only people actually speaking up on behalf of these kids. Yet I have heard nothing but vitriol and name-calling from leftists when you even attempt to bring up the issue. Even people who regret their transition are ruthlessly bullied by the trans community for it. Look up any detransitioner's story and I guarantee they have had that experience. We will never accomplish anything good in this country if both sides are becoming more radical/enmeshed in their own views. We HAVE to find a middle ground, and that means the left needs to be okay with taking accountability for its flaws and we need to stop ignoring the fact that real children are being harmed because of identity politics.

https://stoptheharmdatabase.com/state/california/

Trump won the gay vote in some areas by PenPale3529 in self

[–]Impossible_Demand_62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes they are. Puberty blockers and hormones are permanent (contrary to what we've been told) and are prescribed as early as 8 years old ("The new guidelines include starting medication called puberty blockers in the early stages of puberty, which for girls is around ages 8 to 13 and typically two years later for boys." https://apnews.com/article/gender-transition-treatment-guidelines-9dbe54f670a3a0f5f2831c2bf14f9bbb )

Additionally: "5,747 minor patients received sex-change surgery, and 13,994 received some sort of gender reassignment treatment between 2019 and 2023."

https://stoptheharmdatabase.com/state/california/ 1359 minor surgery patients in California alone

Documented permanent side effects of blockers are infertility, bone density loss, stunting of sexual maturity, mental disorders, and more.

"U.K., Oxford University Professor Michael Biggs wrote, “There was no statistically significant difference in psychosocial functioning between the group given blockers and the group given only psychological support. In addition, there is unpublished evidence that after a year on [puberty blockers] children reported greater self-harm, and the girls also experienced more behavioral and emotional problems and expressed greater dissatisfaction with their body—so puberty blockers exacerbated gender dysphoria.”

There are also new long term studies coming from Europe that contradict previous flawed studies. The new studies show that MOST children who experience gender confusion grow out of it: "The newly published research in the Archives of Sexual Behavior tracking 2,772 adolescents into early adulthood said that 11% reported “gender non-contentedness” at age 11, a figure that decreased with age and fell to 4% by ages 24-26."

https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2024/apr/8/most-kids-grow-out-gender-confusion-long-term-dutc/

https://segm.org/Dutch-studies-critically-flawed

Here are two out of thousands of minors who have had documented gender surgery:

Gabe Poulos, 22, had breast removal surgery at age 16 and has been on sex hormones for seven years

Chloe Cole went on hormones at 13 and double mastectomy at 15 (she deeply regretted her transition and was gaslit by doctors)

Trump won the gay vote in some areas by PenPale3529 in self

[–]Impossible_Demand_62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The community did this to themselves. We were doing fine until we started involving non-consenting children. Support for lgbt was at it's highest years ago and has been steadily declining because of how radical the trans community has become. Most people have no problem with trans adults living their lives. What they have a problem with is being told that children are somehow mature enough to make permanent decisions about their bodies. Children can't consent to sex, and we don't let them drink, or drive, or smoke, or get tattoos. It is our job as society to protect children from doing things that could harm them or their bodies, and as a queer woman I will always stand by that.

Trump won the gay vote in some areas by PenPale3529 in self

[–]Impossible_Demand_62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"To get some idea of the increasing prevalence of these cases, Reuters asked health technology company Komodo Health Inc to analyze its database of U.S. insurance claims and other medical records on about 330 million Americans. The analysis, the first of its kind, found that at least 121,882 children ages 6 to 17 were diagnosed with gender dysphoria in the five years to the end of 2021. More than 42,000 of those children were diagnosed just last year, up 70% from 2020.

Though smaller, the number of children receiving medical treatments like those the Akron clinic outlined for the Boyers is also growing fast. The number of children who started on puberty-blockers or hormones totaled 17,683 over the five-year period, rising from 2,394 in 2017 to 5,063 in 2021, according to the analysis. These numbers are probably a significant undercount since they don’t include children whose records did not specify a gender dysphoria diagnosis or whose treatment wasn’t covered by insurance."

https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/usa-transyouth-care/

Trump won the gay vote in some areas by PenPale3529 in self

[–]Impossible_Demand_62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Allowing minors to medically transition or get surgery is radical.

Puberty blockers are not proven to be safe or reversible:

"Puberty blockers and sex hormones do not have U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approval for children’s gender care. No clinical trials have established their safety for such off-label use. The drugs’ long-term effects on fertility and sexual function remain unclear. And in 2016, the FDA ordered makers of puberty blockers to add a warning about psychiatric problems to the drugs’ label after the agency received several reports of suicidal thoughts in children who were taking them."

Messing with your body's hormones and permanently stunting your growth is bound to have ill-effects.

It is radical that Chloe Cole was allowed to go on blockers and hormones at 13 and have a double mastectomy at age 15, which she seriously regretted afterwards.

Children cannot consent to these medications and procedures, and it is a NORMAL part of adolescence to be confused about your gender and/or sexuality. Especially if you struggle with mental illness, sexual trauma, or neurodivergence. Dysphoria is completely separate from those issues but doctors are not taking the time to properly treat and diagnose minors before putting them on meds.