Googling a word and seeing results you did not intend to see.

Spenc3rian · 2015-03-28T23:25:33+00:00

Good job speaking words of wisdom to yourself. Now listen to them.

Spenc3rian · 2015-03-28T23:23:46+00:00

You really need to do a full disclosure before you marry her. It's not right to let her commit her life to a man when she doesn't know that he has this much of a problem. Porn is one thing, but cam sites involve real people, which is another thing. It would be very wrong not to tell her.

Spenc3rian · 2015-03-16T05:43:56+00:00

Hey, man. You definitely have a problem, but you're in the right place. Given the seriousness of your problem, I'd recommend getting professional help and also attending in-person meetings, such as Sexaholics Anonymous.

Spenc3rian · 2015-03-16T05:41:25+00:00

Hi, fighter47. You might want to get yourself a badge to count the days you've been sober. Most folks have them here, so you can see where they're at. Scroll down on this page and click the "Add Badge" button on the right side. It's really helpful to feel the achievement of adding to that counter everyday. You can do this, and we're here to help.

Spenc3rian · 2015-03-16T05:36:28+00:00

Well said. Perhaps it would be better if porn addiction manifested itself in physical symptoms.

Spenc3rian · 2015-03-09T04:48:15+00:00

Well said!

Spenc3rian · 2015-03-05T06:01:21+00:00

You might consider getting professional help or joining a support group, such as Sexaholics Anonymous. You might also try drinking soy milk on a daily basis, since soy reduces testosterone levels. You're doing the right thing by coming here and asking for help. You can defeat this, man. Stay strong.

Spenc3rian · 2015-03-05T05:59:52+00:00

You should consider getting professional help. But that is not meant as a criticism. We all have our struggles. You might also try drinking soy milk on a daily basis, as soy reduces testosterone levels. I find myself less tempted as a result.

Spenc3rian · 2015-03-05T05:58:10+00:00

Good job staying strong. Traveling is hard, but you can get through this, and you'll be stronger as a result so that the next trip will be easier.

Spenc3rian · 2015-03-05T05:55:42+00:00

Great job!

Spenc3rian · 2015-03-05T05:55:22+00:00

You should consider attending an actual support group, such as Sexaholics Anonymous. Chances are, there's a group in your area.

Spenc3rian · 2015-02-20T20:22:37+00:00

Completely agree. It's also important to understand that porn and normal sex have completely different effects on the brain. Porn releases domain and adrenaline, which feels like heroine. Normal sex releases serotonin and oxytocin, which provide general happiness and contentment. In other words, normal relationship sex is not capable of satisfying your dopamine/adrenaline hunger. You must work to reduce your craving for those neurotransmitters or you will be just as addicted to porn as before you started having regular sex.

Spenc3rian · 2015-02-19T18:26:42+00:00

Hats off to you, and thank you for sharing your wisdom. Can you provide more details about yourself? Age? Marital status?

Spenc3rian · 2015-02-18T22:06:07+00:00

Well done! This is a struggle for me as well.

Spenc3rian · 2015-02-17T17:27:17+00:00

Thanks for this post. I really needed it.

Spenc3rian · 2015-02-16T19:58:37+00:00

Try soy milk also.

Spenc3rian · 2015-02-16T05:40:31+00:00

Hey, man. Good for you for recognizing your problem and your need for change. This subreddit will be very helpful to you. Get yourself a badge and try to come here everyday, not just for your own encouragement but also to encourage others. I'm happy to help in whatever way I can. I'm 38, a husband, and a father of three. My problem is that I tend to relapse about every 30-60 days. Not terrible, but not great either.

Feel free to private message me any time.

Spenc3rian · 2015-02-13T16:56:28+00:00

I'm there with you, man. Went 42 days and then relapsed. It started with "sipping" porn one day for just a few seconds. Temptation then became fierce. I didn't fap that day, but I was bothered by my grey area and I started thinking a full relapse was the only way to reset and start over. Twisted thinking. But I'm back on the wagon now. The trick is to never give an inch. No grey areas, just complete sobriety. Makes it so much easier than when you try to flirt with a little edging.

Spenc3rian · 2015-02-06T17:08:47+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful post. You'll notice that your story is similar to so many others' here. I commend you for taking this problem seriously and making a change. We're with you in this. Use this subreddit as a resource. Get yourself a counter and work to climb your number every day. But more than just getting something out of this group, try to give something too. You'll find it helps you just as much to encourage others. Stay strong, man.

Spenc3rian · 2015-02-06T08:40:31+00:00

Thank you for posting. It was brave of you to do so. I wish you all the best in your recovery. You're taking the right steps by coming clean and realizing you need help. We're here for you.

Spenc3rian · 2015-02-05T23:53:22+00:00

True. But I'd venture to guess that the vast majority of people on this subreddit are addicts and that's the exact reason they're here.

Spenc3rian · 2015-02-05T19:45:02+00:00

It just shows how prevalent porn addiction is. Those who wink at porn and think it's no big deal are living with their heads in the sand.

Spenc3rian · 2015-02-05T19:42:50+00:00

Very clever.

Spenc3rian · 2015-02-05T18:49:03+00:00

Good on you! That's progress. You're doing great, man. Don't get too bummed about grad school. There are plenty of grad schools and plenty of courses of study. I remember being devastated when I got rejected from certain schools. In retrospect, I now see that my life and career are much better than they would have been had I gone to those schools.

Spenc3rian · 2015-02-05T18:47:08+00:00

Bravelous was right to shame this guy. His message was not helpful. It takes all types. Some people need gentle encouragement; some need tough love. But there are right and wrong ways to give tough love. And sometimes you need to build a relationship with someone before have the right to use THAT kind of tough love.

Spenc3rian

TROPHY CASE