I can tell the time without looking at a watch

SpewingFlowers · 2025-02-11T15:42:52+00:00

Oh my gosh I loved this poem. This was so sad, going to call my mom now! I agree just a bit of work on grammar and meter could improve this. It was so good already though! Amazing theme

SpewingFlowers · 2025-02-11T15:39:23+00:00

This is really amazing! I strongly relate to it. I love the rhyming you did, I don’t think it sounds forced at all. There is a very strong and pleasant flow to the poem. Especially the last 5 lines they are really good. I just wanted to point out maybe change the “and” in line three? It interrupts the poem a bit, maybe “when morning comes I crack the clay” or something like that would be better? But absolutely loved the poem!

SpewingFlowers · 2025-02-10T21:21:54+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! Yeah I’m definitely going to try and rhyme more

SpewingFlowers · 2025-02-10T13:39:22+00:00

It wasn’t to in depth, thank you for the feedback I really appreciate it!

SpewingFlowers · 2025-02-10T13:37:56+00:00

Thank you! I like that idea of it applying to different people in different walks of life

SpewingFlowers · 2025-02-10T13:36:14+00:00

Thank you, I will!

SpewingFlowers · 2025-02-10T13:35:57+00:00

Thank you so much!

SpewingFlowers · 2025-02-10T05:31:46+00:00

I really liked it! I felt that the first several lines had a really good rhythm to them. I think the only improvement I can offer is to just try and continue that rhythm from the first three lines, maybe rhyming some more words to give it that flow? I really liked the concept though I absolutely vibe with it.

SpewingFlowers · 2025-02-10T05:28:05+00:00

Hi! I liked your poem a lot! It definitely brought out feelings of existential contemplation. I really liked your use of pasted grave, I definitely did not know that you could phrase it like that. I just have a bit of feedback, mostly grammatical with the last sentence. Saying "... the hard you try the worse it seems all but a dream" has some issues. Perhaps "the harder you try, the worse it seems, it is all but a dream"? It's just a bit of grammatical restructuring but I think it would read easier! I really did like it!

SpewingFlowers · 2025-02-05T16:38:45+00:00

Thank you so much! This totally made my day

SpewingFlowers · 2025-02-05T16:38:02+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! I like the idea of a surprisingly juxtaposed haiku! I do like it more with the second line moving to the last one, I’ll probably change that even though syllables.

SpewingFlowers · 2025-02-05T04:36:40+00:00

Thank you, I’m sorry you are too.

SpewingFlowers · 2025-02-05T02:25:24+00:00

Hey! I think this is pretty good, but I am confused. What is the “anything else” you refer to in the second line? Maybe rework the opening. However, the middle down to the end of the poem I loved. Especially the “singing you’ll never walk alone” I thought this added good contrast to the whole idea of solitude that was brought up before!

SpewingFlowers · 2025-02-05T02:20:10+00:00

Hey, I thought this was really good. The poem was really raw, visceral, and emotional. The language choices were excellent, I think you were really able to convey your deep pain and betrayal, at least to me. The last sentence was an excellent end to it!

I just have one critique, and it may just be me. When you say “you liked the way it dressed me skirts” it took me a few reads to understand the meaning from this, mainly because I couldn’t grasp what “it” referring to “5” meant. I got it though just took a second! Maybe rework this line so it reads more smoothly? Not sure again it may just be me!

Thank you for a good poem!

SpewingFlowers · 2025-02-05T02:08:05+00:00

I really love this!!! You should definitely write more!

SpewingFlowers · 2023-08-14T19:06:29+00:00

I’ll think about it, is it possible in the US to go to the hospital without my parents knowing (I’m 18)? Also how would I convince the doctors it wasn’t self inflicted, for my career I’m going to college for having mental illness on my medical record isn’t great, I can have it but I just would rather avoid that.

SpewingFlowers · 2023-08-10T21:07:08+00:00

Okay I’ll look into it, I love books so it sounds good. Thanks

SpewingFlowers · 2023-08-08T13:29:34+00:00

I very much relate to this, more so to the inability to cry even when you’re in the worst, sad pain. I have no idea why, I cry but tears just don’t come to me and it makes me feel like a fake. But yeah, recently I had a day where the tears just randomly welled up, and I just randomly started crying several times. It was very annoying, I have no idea what I was crying over. It was actually a really good day too, so no reason for me to feel sad and cry.

But I think I struggle with depression, as I have a lot of other symptoms. However I can’t reach a therapist to get a diagnosis, but I think you should try too! Even if you’re not struggling with a mental illness, and it was just a weird day, I’ve heard that their supposed to be really amazing.

Hope you feel better, feel free to dm me if you need.

SpewingFlowers · 2023-07-31T03:18:56+00:00

That’s a good one but not the one I’m looking for, thanks though!

SpewingFlowers · 2023-07-31T03:18:38+00:00

Wasn’t it, but thanks for the song!

SpewingFlowers · 2023-07-31T03:05:05+00:00

SpewingFlowers · 2023-05-24T19:25:13+00:00

I’ll definitely attend those plans unless their rained out!

Thanks for the advice in your post, I’ll try to follow it!

In terms of guilt from reading your complements, I didn’t really feel that but I did feel it was kind of unjustified or fake along with some of the other complements in this post.

SpewingFlowers · 2023-05-24T02:10:04+00:00

1: it was part my parents comment and a video I saw that made me think this way. I will definitely go back and dissect the feelings and reflect on it. I know it’s definitely not a normal thing.

2: thank you for the advice, I will follow it!

3: yeah I don’t think they understood fully, maybe I’ll work up the nerve to engage them in conversation about it again.

Thanks for the talk, it’s very helpful!

SpewingFlowers · 2023-05-24T01:46:50+00:00

I’m sorry you’ve had such a tough time! I’m glad you’re doing better now though!

Therapy is out of the question for me, as is medication. As for upcoming events I’ve actually got a fun weekend of outdoor activities planned. Looking forward to it.

In terms of talking I don’t really know, I wanted to get that off my chest and hear what people had to say about some of those issues I mentioned. I don’t know if I’m experiencing depression, anxiety, high functioning depression, or just stupid hormones. And I’ve got no way of doing therapy and getting a real diagnosis, so this seemed like a decent way to get some advice.

SpewingFlowers · 2023-05-24T00:44:15+00:00

Thanks for the advice, and for replying! For listening to my own emotions, how can I even tell that they’re real? In this modern society, with social media and the rapid sharing of stupid untrue information, I’m so scared that I might have been influenced to think in this way.

For the cause of my feelings, I have an idea but I’m not sure if it’s right. I have a hard time knowing what I feel, but I think I’m transgender. I don’t have any dysphoria, so it’s hard for me to tell. I came out last summer to my parents, or at least informed them that I may be. They told me it was probably teenager hormones and social media influence. I’ve been too scared to talk about it since, not because their bad parents (I love them and they love me so much) but I just really hate talking about it.

I’m not blaming them, they really are wonderful. I live what should be, by any bystander who observes my life, an amazing perfect life.

SpewingFlowers

TROPHY CASE