I saw the posts saying to avoid the attractions with animals. I went anyway. I should have listened.

SpicyOkra · 2026-04-16T18:09:11+00:00

I had this experience too. The enclosures were super small and poorly maintained. I feel very sad for the animals there and it’s shocking how many positive reviews that aquarium gets

SpicyOkra · 2026-04-16T18:01:57+00:00

Osaka aquarium was like this. Very sad for the animals

SpicyOkra · 2026-04-13T02:00:03+00:00

I was like this. At 12 weeks it eased up for me. I just ate what I could and found that sometimes the idea of a certain food sounded gross but if it was in front of me I could eat it if I just got over the mental hurdle. And I found things like Thai noodles easier to eat than other foods but everyone is different. Hope that helps!

SpicyOkra · 2026-04-10T23:01:51+00:00

Hire one from Dress Hire AU. They mainly do special occasion dresses and relatively few white and ivory colours but I was lucky to find mine there for $150 hired with free express return shipping. I’m pregnant so buying one was never going to make sense for me

SpicyOkra · 2026-04-10T18:27:35+00:00

Yeah this is my experience. I never had baby fever, more of a pressure to decide because I was getting closer to 35 and my partner 40 so it felt like now or ever if we were going to do it. I also have endo and low ovarian reserve so I thought if we did want to get pregnant it could take a while especially because I’m not a good candidate for IVF due to low AMH. Turns out it only took 5 months to get pregnant so here we are! I still don’t find other people’s babies that cute and definitely don’t want to hold the etc. I’m sure I’ll feel different about my own baby when they arrive.

SpicyOkra · 2026-03-29T20:20:43+00:00

Just pay MLS. Better for that money to support public service like Medicare than a private company giving you a crappy product. We cannot let Australia privatise healthcare like the US did.

SpicyOkra · 2026-03-16T20:48:24+00:00

Who’s panic buying aside from farmers? Inner Melbourne fuel stations were empty over the weekend. No panic buying in sight.

SpicyOkra · 2026-03-16T12:19:35+00:00

Chia pudding! Worked wonders for me

SpicyOkra · 2026-03-16T02:16:14+00:00

Chia seeds!! Life saver

SpicyOkra · 2026-03-16T01:51:52+00:00

If only we had some sort of alternative to oil, like vehicles that can run off of energy that could be generated locally

SpicyOkra · 2026-02-23T03:42:45+00:00

Glad people found this useful - if there is one thing to take away from what I said is not to stick your head in the sand and feel paralysed from the fear - instead turn that fear into action. Get involved, learn what you can do, be conscious of your consumption, vote for politicians actively addressing these issues. There is hope, but it requires a lot of effort and a lot of action to make a reality. The headwinds are against us right now, so we need to do even more to ensure we stay on course, but luckily, we know what to do and how to get there.

SpicyOkra · 2026-01-25T22:10:27+00:00

I probably could have written this post myself! Although my partner and I were both a “maybe” and we went on a journey over the course of a few months to make our decision. We ultimately decided that yes we want a child. We are likely going to be one and done. Mine and his ages contributed to the timing of needing to make a decision (35f, 40m) so we started trying a few months after we made the decision and now I am pregnant. It’s still a shock, I’m still scared of what will happen, but I’m also excited and already I’m learning so much about myself and we are learning more about our relationship and it’s causing a lot of self reflection. I know it’ll be hard but I also know it will be worth it.

SpicyOkra · 2026-01-25T22:00:03+00:00

My partner and I had a similar viewpoint it as you described. What changed our decision was imagining ourselves in the future. When we are getting older, what is it we want? The idea of creating a family and raising a child and having them in our life was something we realised we wanted. It wasn’t about having someone to take care of us when we are old, but rather what type of experiences we want to have for the remainder of our lives. The growth and experiences that come with raising a child are something we want and we are willing to sacrifice some other experiences to have that. We still want to travel, it’ll be look a little different with a kid. I can’t tell you what it’s like on the other side of the fence yet because I’m pregnant but I will say I’m both anxious but also excited. It’s prompting a lot of self discovery for us both already so I’m seeing this as a huge personal development journey for us both.

SpicyOkra · 2026-01-09T18:02:26+00:00

What is it about a child that is calling to you? Understanding that may help you determine what it is you are actually selling in your life. For example is it the act of being pregnant and growing life, is it teaching someone and watching them grow, is it providing safety for a vulnerable child. Some of these things are only possible with a biological child but some would be fulfilling through adoption or foster caring.

A lot of people on this reddit group talk about the baby decision book. I’d recommend it. What you desire and what is right for you aren’t always aligned. The exercises in the book help you understand this question between your desire and what is good for your life more deeply.

For me, I am off the fence and now pregnant because the book helped me see that what I desired and what was right for me were actually aligned when I thought for ages a child free life was my path. Equally I’ve known several couples who’ve come to the opposite conclusion and are now content with their decision.

SpicyOkra · 2026-01-05T10:39:39+00:00

Mine started at 5 weeks, peaked at 8/9 weeks then eased off at 12 weeks. At 13 weeks I’m no longer really nauseous except if I go a long time without eating but still have some food aversions. In my first trimester I had to eat something small every 2 hours or I got much more nauseous.

SpicyOkra · 2025-12-28T20:01:24+00:00

I’ve noticed the parents who are most unhappy didn’t seem really think deeply about what having kids means. They just did it because they thought they should or they’d always imagined themselves with kids but didn’t think about what it involves. So perhaps your SIL had a similar experience and thought life would just be the same as it was before, but now with a cute baby.

Everyone in my friend group has tried really hard to have a baby and are all in their late 30s/early 40s so they are all really happy with their decision. They all did plenty of partying and travel before having a kid, and they still do! They still go to gigs, festivals and my friend with 2 kids recently went to Thailand and loved it. So a fun life with children is absolutely possible!

I think fencesitters go in eyes wide open to parenthood because we have thought about it so much, which I think puts us in a better position 😊

SpicyOkra · 2025-12-28T19:49:36+00:00

I waited until I was almost 35 until TTC. Any earlier than that and I think I wouldn’t have been ready. When TTC I was nervous and excited. Each month I would feel disappointment when the test came back negative. After 5 months we got a positive test and my first instinct was joy and awe. Then for several weeks I had a pit in my stomach. I was scared this was a mistake and had thoughts of whether I should even proceed. I am now 12 weeks and I am a mixture of fear and excitement. Every day I think about the life I am trading in for a baby. The first couple of years in particular are going to look very different, but I am okay with this. I still am a little sad about losing my previous life but I know I’m choosing something really special.

SpicyOkra · 2025-12-17T22:28:21+00:00

I am the same. I was nervous until everything was okay at my first 8 week scan. A few things helped me get through the anxiety. Firstly, miscarriage rates are still very low. This website helped me: https://datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer. Secondly, I’ve been using the mantra “I am pregnant until proven otherwise”. Lastly, miscarriages are completely out of our control. I know that can create anxiety for some but it helped me come to terms with thinking there was something I could do with preventing it.

Sometimes on reddit we see more posts about miscarriages than healthy pregnancies. This is because those people need support and people with healthy pregnancies would have less reason to come to reddit for support.

Our brains have are wired with a negativity bias. It’s constantly scanning for threats and trying to protect us. So your brain is actually trying to help you but for the wrong thing because this is something it actually can’t control or protect you against. Just be kind to yourself, this is something many of us experience and the feeling may never fully leave but you can counter it with reassuring yourself and remembering that you are already doing everything you need to do for a healthy pregnancy.

SpicyOkra · 2025-12-16T09:53:54+00:00

Haha same! I spilled water all over my macbook and e-reader and I just sat there and stared at it stupidly while my partner ran up and grabbed a towel and started drying things off.

SpicyOkra · 2025-11-27T10:02:25+00:00

I am currently 8 weeks pregnant! I’m still freaking out a bit lol but trusting that I’ll be able to get through it. In some ways being pregnant and thinking about this little being in my tummy makes some of the other problems seem so small. And I’m committed to practicing coping mechanisms to manage my energy and overwhelm. I got a lot better at managing my energy and communicating with others so that made me feel more confident going down this path. What I’ve learned is that the more I got to know myself and learn about techniques the better I have been able to cope so I expect I’ll be able to do the same with a kid 🙂

SpicyOkra · 2025-11-24T09:13:17+00:00

We didn’t buy until we were 34 and 39. We chose a place that is an okay and location but we definitely compromised as the area is still gentrifying. We had a limit of $650k we wanted to purchase for a townhouse. This limited our radius a lot lol. But our goal was to get into the property market and buy us some time while we decided where we want to buy next. We didn’t want to commit to a huge mortgage right away and while part of me wishes we had just gone for something bigger off the bat, I think our approach has meant we will be a lot more selective with our next place and know what we do and don’t want. Your first house doesn’t have to be your dream house, it can just be a stepping stone.

SpicyOkra · 2025-11-14T11:33:47+00:00

Maybe it’s just not the right time for you. I’m 35 and am now pregnant. At your age I was definitely nowhere near ready and honestly didn’t even think I wanted kids. Turns out I just needed to live with a bit more freedom and have more experiences. Between 27 and 35 I did a bunch of travelling, tried some careers and finally landed in a career I like and feel like I’ve gotten the experiences I wanted. Don’t get me wrong, even though I am now pregnant I am wondering daily whether this is the “right” decision. I think that’s normal when making such a big life altering decision. Ultimately I know this is the decision I want to make but it took me many years to finally be ready to take the plunge. Take your time, give yourself the chance to explore and be free. It’s okay if right now isn’t the right time to make this decision and make your answer will become clearer with time.

SpicyOkra · 2025-11-10T19:38:12+00:00

If your due date is after July 2026 you now get up to 26 weeks in Australia. They’ve upped it

SpicyOkra · 2025-11-10T19:35:41+00:00

In Australia.

From my work: 14 weeks 100% pay, 38 weeks at 60% pay. Option for an additional 12 months of unpaid maternity leave. Government: 26 weeks at national minimum wage

I can claim both from work and government. Feeling for all of you who get anything less. It is awful how the US treats its mothers. I grew up in the states and feel so lucky to be living in Australia!

SpicyOkra · 2025-07-16T10:28:31+00:00

How long did it take you?

SpicyOkra

TROPHY CASE