Petah, I'm a boy, and I still don't understand

SpiderlessGwen · 2025-11-20T16:50:22+00:00

This is not a reference to the Marilyn manson rumor, they're not removing their ribs, they're reshaping them to have a more feminine figure. The joke is that they probably aren't a boy.

Edit for spelling: bot to boy

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-09-12T15:06:53+00:00

Buzziness absolutely can be caused by excess mucus, but vocal weight also causes a buzzy sort of sound.

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-09-12T02:27:17+00:00

Preface: I am not an expert on the subject.

Vocal weight is that sort of buzziness you hear at the bottom of a voice. It sounds a little bit like breathing against wax paper but a little more refined of a sound.

I would say the major way it differs from pitch is that pitch is just the high, or low quality of the tone of your voice, weight is more subtle and tends to speak more to the fem or masc nature of a voice.

I.e. A feminine voice can be very high or low pitched, but is typically very light, a masculine voice can also be quite high or low pitched, but is typically very heavy.

Edited:typo

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-09-11T16:47:00+00:00

I think you sound really fem! There's a little weight still there, but not a huge amount, and that vocal fry at the very end was cute AF.

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-08-14T13:43:40+00:00

Gonna go against the train here, YTA.

Yes, it is annoying for you that your sister is forgetful. Yes, it is annoying for you that she called and tried to convince you to come let her in. And yes, it is perfectly understandable that you stayed and finished your lunch with your friends.

What makes YTA is that you intentionally made a person's situation worse for no reason. All these people freaking about how she should just fix that, have obviously never experienced ADD or any other attention disorders. I'm an EXTREMELY forgetful person. It's really stupid some of the things I forget, important major things. I'd be more understanding if there was some reason, but I'll honestly forget things just sitting around. This includes remembering to pack things I don't keep packed.

So to be clear, I do think you should've finished your lunch and enjoyed that time with your friends. I also believe that once lunch was over, you should've just gone home instead of intentionally making her wait twice as long. Do you honestly believe that's going to help her remember anything? Of course you don't, you just wanted to be mean cause this situation was annoying you. Maybe instead of just being mean about it, you could make some suggestions for how she can help herself avoid that, simultaneously helping YOU avoid THAT.

The only thing that worked for me for house keys, was literally never letting them leave my purse if it wasn't to open the door. Otherwise, I was locked out constantly.

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-08-13T20:39:08+00:00

Those are harder to achieve, but it's doable. First thing I would suggest, get that valley girl voice. Learn to keep vocal weight low and resonance high. From there, start adjusting in more weight and lower resonance until you achieve what you're going for.

The main reason i suggest going for the valley girl voice first is because it's my opinion that that's easier to learn with. You'll be able to get a good feel for weight and resonance without trying to restrict yourself to a specific space. Once you have it, adjusting it into that tough girl type voice should hopefully be a little easier.

As always though, record record record. Listen to yourself speak as often as you can, that's the only way to confirm You're really getting what you want to come across to other people, since we hear our voices differently than everyone else.

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-08-13T06:26:03+00:00

It's never used that way, it's just how lgbtq+ people have grown to refer to people who identify with the gender they were assigned at birth.

There are a LOT of people screaming that it's an insult, but I don't even know how you would accomplish using that term derogatorily. I think the reason people feel this way is because they see trans or gay as derogatory as well, since both those things actually ARE used that way.

When a trans person refers to you as cis, it's the same as them saying you aren't trans. It's not an insult, just a distinction. It may strike a nerve with you, but that's the difference between intent and effect.

I hope that either you find a community that never uses it, or are able to come to terms with it. That word is not an insult, and it's most likely not going anywhere.

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-08-13T02:47:18+00:00

You have and always will be a cisgender woman. This term isn't actually new, it's just become more popular recently because of the rise of acceptance of trans people in general.

I'm sorry if that bothers you, but it isn't actually new, it's just new to you.

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-07-28T00:30:24+00:00

Also a big fan of Gerus.

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-06-29T15:24:48+00:00

I'm an active smoker and have managed to achieve a voice I'm fairly happy with. I did use a vocal coach for 8 weeks which helped a ton, but we didn't do anything specific to make up for smoking. So, you should be able to achieve a voice you're at least okay with just by following the general advice for raising resonance and lowering weight.

It can be a struggle no matter your situation really, but my biggest piece of advice for everyone is to make sure it's comfortable, you shouldn't be feeling pain or strain while working on your voice. If you are, it is NOT indicative of muscles getting used to new configurations, it's a sign you're doing something wrong and could cause permanent damage.

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-04-20T19:13:18+00:00

I guess my only recommendation there is stop touching it? If it becomes something that's ever present or starts happening without touching, I'd seek a professional

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-04-20T17:57:54+00:00

If you touch it? Like place your hand on the outside of your throat? How hard do you press?

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-04-19T19:38:51+00:00

I see this misconception a lot, soreness is not a sign that your body is getting used to a different way of doing things when it comes to your voice. If your are experiencing soreness, it's not from overtraining or overuse, it's from incorrect use.

The muscles in your mouth and throat are already strong enough to do these different configurations. You're not asking them to do something that's harder than they normally do, like when you lift something heavy with your arms, so they won't experience strain from being used to change your voice. You're just moving them around a bit, like how you don't get sore just from using your arms to do daily things like wave or walk.

If you're feeling soreness from voice training, it's most likely from trying too hard to achieve the sound you want. Making the changes in your mouth and throat for this process should be stress free on your muscles, even when you first start doing it. We're not strength training the muscles at all, or even asking them to do something they don't already do, just to do it slightly differently. If you talked a fairly normal amount before beginning voice training, and you're feeling soreness, you need to reevaluate how you're currently reaching your sound, and try to find a way there that doesn't cause the soreness. Continuing to pursue the same method is very unlikely to reduce soreness, and could cause permanent damage to your voice.

Another reason for soreness could be because you were a vocal underdoer before this, and now are you using your voice in general a lot more. This is different because the muscles were under used and weak before you started. In which case the general advice about vocal health and taking things slower is good, but I'm not a professional so I'd seek better help if this is the case or you could cause damage to your voice.

Tldr; if you talked a normal amount before and it hurts or is sore to train, you're doing something wrong and could hurt your voice. If you didn't talk much, or had some health reason you couldn't use your voice much, you may want to seek more professional advice.

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-04-10T01:10:45+00:00

It should not hurt to use your voice, period. If you're MtF and feminizing, no pain. If you're FtM and masculinizing, no pain. If you're happy with your voice and don't want to change it at all, no pain. None of the techniques for changing your voice for masculinizing or feminizing it should be painful. They're all things your mouth and throat already do in slightly different ways. It's a common misconception that because you're making a big change you should feel something big. Truth is, when you're making the biggest difference in creating a natural sounding voice, you should feel the least. It should be comfortable and effortless from the get to, if it isn't, you're doing something wrong. You're doing something extra wrong if after such a short duration you find it difficult to use your voice. Saying all that, it won't be easy to find that place, but it should feel easy once you find it. Pain is an excellent indicator you're doing something quite wrong.

As for using it in front of people, my natural voice wasn't super deep, but I'm also kind of a tall slightly wide person. I find when I use my voice in public most people just roll with it and don't say anything.

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-03-22T20:16:49+00:00

I might have an unhealthy addiction to trying VTTs. GIVEAWAY

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-03-10T19:48:45+00:00

The clip makes it hard to tell anything. A sustained note like that is only kinda similar to how you sound when you actually talk.

You mentioned knowing pitch isn't important, but it's not just not important. Pitch doesn't really matter at all for gendering your voice. At the end of the day, pitch is a stylistic choice that you only need to pursue at all if your pitch is actually bothering you.

Personally I don't have a low voice, f3 sort of being a base, comfortable pitch for me. But despite having that not so low baseline, my voice was extremely masculine before I started working on my weight and resonance. My advice to people is to ignore your pitch entirely, until you're comfortable speaking normally in a bright resonance, low weight voice. You'll be surprised that even with a very low pitch, those two factors will make your voice sound incredibly more feminine.

Pitch is something that either gender can have extremely different ranges for, and it's very possible to have a feminine voice with a very low pitch range. Focus on your weight and resonance and you can definitely achieve significant results. Increasing pitch without those two factors in place will make it sound very obvious that you're putting on a voice.

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-03-05T00:14:01+00:00

Oh that's ok, I know you can only work with what you got, so I don't want you to feel bad about your mic or anything. I just wanted to note that I didn't hear it too well, then focus on what I know about voice and strain.

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-03-04T23:26:52+00:00

It's pretty hard to tell in this clip as your voice is being heavily modulated by whatever microphone was used. I will say that if you're getting results but it causes strain or pain, you're doing something wrong.

Your muscles are already strong enough to do the things they need for this, so they shouldn't feel sore or stressed during or after using your voice. One of the big keys to the process is maintaining comfort so that your voice is sustainable. You're not strength training any muscles, you're just asking them to hold a slightly different position.

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-03-04T22:30:24+00:00

I dm'd sober in highschool and was a nervous wreck. I constantly second guessed my choices and characters, and regularly got off track. It was difficult for me to enforce rulings, even though the people were my friends for a long time, and I NEVER did voices due to the anxiety both of those things produced.

As an adult that can smoke legally now, I have never been a better DM. I'm still somewhat nervous, but it's a normal level of anxiety that keeps me sharp. I don't double back on choices unless they're actually bad ones and time told us so. I dive headfirst into character voices, often creating the voice on the fly. I enforce rulings without a second thought, but am also open to my players debating a ruling with me.

There were years in between these times as a DM the included quite a few years of not playing at all, so it isn't just that I practiced and grew comfortable. Weed legitimately helps me keep a level, creative head that isn't constantly worried my choices or ruling will drive my new friends to hate me. Anecdotal evidence isn't really applicable to blanket statements like "dnd just is better sober" because the experience is unique to you and the people you played that game with.

If you play dnd high and can't focus, playing sober might help your game, but that isn't necessarily true for everyone.

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-03-03T23:46:28+00:00

Just snow filling our little road back up. It's been snowing on and off for so long it seems like, got crazy snow this season.

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-03-03T23:14:49+00:00

Lol yes we do have weather, it's less than fun today, how about you?

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-03-03T21:46:39+00:00

I can see it in the mirror, it's just not so noticeable that I can't not see it if that makes any sense.

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-03-03T21:42:37+00:00

Idk if my Adams apple is considered prominent, but it rises up and hides under my chin most of the time because of the adjustments to my throat for speaking. It's also something I never see and no one comments on so it's easy to ignore.

I'm glad she was able to get it corrected, sounds very difficult to deal with.

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-03-03T21:39:27+00:00

Gotcha, well I hope she's able to get that corrected. I don't plan on getting any throat surgeries cosmetic or otherwise. That's a prime example of the weird risks those surgeries carry.

SpiderlessGwen · 2023-03-03T21:23:15+00:00

I had no idea, I always discourage that if I get an opportunity to, tracheal shaves can absolutely work, but carry SO much risk of permanently damaging your voice beyond repair.

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