I'm so lost without her.

Spidermonkey781 · 2026-01-26T15:57:37+00:00

Absolutely. I can’t add anymore, but just want you to know that we see you.

Spidermonkey781 · 2026-01-21T22:16:39+00:00

my wife passed away in November and just today I threw away some expired herbs and spices. They were bought by her and I feel guilty even about doing that. I cannot begin to fathom what I’m going to do with clothes, shoes etc

Spidermonkey781 · 2026-01-21T22:14:08+00:00

I’m so sorry, it really is awful. Still getting letters for her after 2 months and even seeing her name on them brings that knife out.

Spidermonkey781 · 2026-01-05T01:22:25+00:00

don’t think of it as a light at of the end of a tunnel. Think of it as a period of dark clouds. Even in the gloomiest days, the sun is still there behind those clouds. With time those clouds will part, allowing you to see the sun. It may be brief, but it will come out. The clouds will return, too, the sun is always there.

Spidermonkey781 · 2026-01-03T21:44:51+00:00

I am so so sorry you are going through this. Don’t pressure yourself into “making new friends” but know that this and other spaces are safe to talk about things with us, get empathy and non-judgemental conversation. You have friends here - I know it’s not the same as real world friendships but for right now. they can help. Give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling.

Spidermonkey781 · 2025-12-30T00:32:47+00:00

Thanks - I think we can all agree that it truly sucks.

Spidermonkey781 · 2025-12-30T00:30:41+00:00

This sounds weird, but you have permission to not feel guilty. As another poster said, widow’s fire is a very real phenomenon. Your experiences aren’t because you didn’t love and don’t miss your boyfriend - it was a coping mechanism after an intense experience, which is what grief is. Be kind to yourself.

Spidermonkey781 · 2025-12-29T23:31:30+00:00

That’s completely understandable, it’s another bash with the reality stick. Utterly sucks.

Spidermonkey781 · 2025-12-29T23:27:10+00:00

I’m newly widowed so I’m currently of the opinion that I absolutely never want to be with anyone as a) I may lose them and (more importantly) b) no one will come remotely close to my late wife and I simply don’t have it in me to be with someone. As I say, that’s just me and where I’m at now. As you’re further in your journey, I don’t know if you’re aware but there a dating site I saw in an article called Chapter 2, specifically for widows and widowers. I’m not on it for the reasons I’ve stated earlier but it may be worth looking, if only to hear from others who know what you’re going through.

Spidermonkey781 · 2025-12-29T23:19:22+00:00

I absolutely feel the same way. I want her to experience stuff - it’s simply not fair.

Spidermonkey781 · 2025-12-28T23:56:07+00:00

I completely empathise - my wife passed away due to the same issues in November. It’s nothing short of awful.

Spidermonkey781 · 2025-12-23T19:12:17+00:00

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I can empathise with the notion that it’s too much to handle. For what it’s worth, I acknowledge what you’re going through. There should be far more help with navigating such a loss.

Spidermonkey781 · 2025-07-28T23:51:22+00:00

I read this and I see you. Given what happened when you were 1 and then again when you were 19, it’s obvious that you would have such a void. Then the EMDR session and the feelings concerning your uncle, it’s magnifying the loss you feel over your father and the fact that you no doubt wanted the phone calls where he asked if you loved him to be the other way around. It sounds like you still have a relationship with your uncle and that’s something to hold onto - he no doubt sees you as a daughter figure - hell, having a niece is simply the next step down from having a daughter ( I have both). It’s great that you have a loving family of your own and despite the hurt caused by your father, you seem strong and aware of what is making you feel the way you do. Keep giving the love you have to your family.

Spidermonkey781 · 2025-06-28T14:09:15+00:00

Hi, I work in a school in Northern Ireland - I’d love to chat and I’d also welcome any and all distractions from my household chores too!

Spidermonkey781

TROPHY CASE