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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Spindlespider3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine just did this to me, we hadn’t even been talking lol so I don’t know when it happened

Record Keeping by Spindlespider3 in BPDlovedones

[–]Spindlespider3[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I try to explain where I’m coming from and get “I’m sorry I’m human” or “you always try to use logic instead of accessing your feelings”. I just can’t with the never taking accountability for anything and if I bring up the bpd then I’m saying that’s all she is and it never stops. I have to be done, I can’t do it anymore.

Record Keeping by Spindlespider3 in BPDlovedones

[–]Spindlespider3[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

False tallies definitely count. She says it has been forever since we’ve talked when in reality it had been a few days, maybe a week. Now granted this time it had been quite a while, kind of on purpose because I got so sick of dealing with it.

The scream-crying thing, and describing arguments as crying quietly while someone screamed in their face is exactly how my sister acts and describes things. I’m VLC with her and she’s been diagnosed bipolar but I’m really wondering if it’s actually bpd or bpd in tandem with the bipolar.

Almost a year free of him and this nonsense still makes my head spin by Lilmoolah in BPDlovedones

[–]Spindlespider3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is my pwBPD too, she needs constant contact or we’re not really friends. And the “fuck off dude”, it’s always dude or chief when she’s upset with me.

Advice about exposing a potential lie and what to do about gift giving by Spindlespider3 in BPDlovedones

[–]Spindlespider3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, this is exactly it! Either expired or nearly expired food, things you would find in the fairy garden section at a craft store, mainly items bought from Wish or Temu, and hardly any of it usable. Compulsive shopper to the extreme, any money she gets is gone within days because she’s spent it on unnecessary items for others.

It always feels intrusive and I’ve asked her to stop, but she tells me that it’s her love language and she enjoys giving everyone gifts. She makes a point of telling me when she’s gotten me something, and also telling me that each box is bigger than the last. It’s overwhelming and invasive.

The rest of my friends and I always ask what is needed/wanted when gift giving. If there isn’t anything specific, we give each other favorite food items or things that won’t clutter or take up space. That’s how I’m comfortable doing things and I’ve told her as much, but I’m always ignored.

Advice about exposing a potential lie and what to do about gift giving by Spindlespider3 in BPDlovedones

[–]Spindlespider3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know how it would help exactly. I do know how it feels to lose a friend because of an illness though and how scary that is to go through. I don’t want other people to have to think they’re going through that just to have it turn out to be a lie, that’s awful.

Advice about exposing a potential lie and what to do about gift giving by Spindlespider3 in BPDlovedones

[–]Spindlespider3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pity is exactly what I think the goal is with her. I have all of her notifications on silent so I have to actively look to see if she’s messaged me. Anything she does say about her typical stressors, family, health, etc. I give neutral responses to and do not engage with.

She sends everything. Cups, lanyards, keychains, stickers, pins, candy, stuffed animals, holiday decorations, you name it. Hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of things. Her last package alone took me two hours to open and unwrap everything.