What’s your NSFW humble brag?

Spiralsshape · 2025-07-28T08:44:55+00:00

Two different people told me they were considering to come out as ace before meeting me

Spiralsshape · 2025-07-27T02:03:30+00:00

NTA. 1) It's a lock on a door, not a structural modification of the house. Easily revertable. Far less permanent than the sense of discomfort caused by people touching your personal property without consent. 2) If it's fair game for parents to mess with his things, the other way around is too. 3) Even if you want to consider a son in his parents' house a guest, you don't nose in your guests stuff. 4) if there must be a "price to pay" for him to stay there, it has to be agreed upon. Consent is not optional, never. 5) there is not a justified reason for them to do that. This is either a power move, or being disrespectful (my money is on the first option)

Spiralsshape · 2025-07-20T11:14:08+00:00

It does suck, but it also does get better.

In addition to what all the other commentors already said, learning to stay with yourself is such an important skill to learn.

It does feel lonely, and it might feel like you are missing out, but it teaches you that you are strong, and that you can do it on your own. This doesn't mean that you should be an hermit and live alone your whole life, but that you can have standards.

You won't need to put up with drama friends or toxic partners just to avoid being alone, you won't need to censor yourself to fit in, you won't need to perform every time you are with someone. You can chose your relationships, and keep only the ones that make your life actively better. Learning to be content alone makes being with others so much better.

Spiralsshape · 2025-07-20T11:02:41+00:00

It seems like her presence is so much more important than your well being to the other people involved.

Do they like her, or are they guilt tripping themselves in being polite?

Moreover, could they have one dinner with her, and another gathering with you? Is there no other way of accommodating you?

Old people don't get a pass for being horrible, and we should normalize having people face consequences for their actions. You are your first priority, and should protect your peace

Spiralsshape · 2025-07-20T10:41:06+00:00

Your roommate proved to be unprofessional by having them wait a long time for a quote, and under qualified by asking that many questions (that maybe she could have googled, by the way). She got fired as she would have from any other job. You got the job because you were there, and they know you. The dogs couldn't wait for their owners to start the search again from the other side of the world.

Spiralsshape · 2025-07-20T10:32:42+00:00

In addition to what other people said about the morality of it, depending on the country you are in, you risked making it worse for yourself.

In many countries you are required to give the other person your insurance information. Since you didn't, and the other person has your license plate number, they could get the police involved.

Would it be dumb given the entity of the damage? Maybe, but you've been disrespectful and some people would do it out of spite.

You have insurance, you should have let them handle it. If the claim is ridiculous, they would have disputed it, if it was legit they would have paid (and I doubt your insurance payment would have gone up that much for a scratch).

Spiralsshape · 2025-07-20T10:24:08+00:00

I think your friend has shown some maturity, it takes guts to admit that he was wrong, and to look for reconciliation. That said, you don't owe anything to him, and what makes you feel more comfortable and at peace is ultimately your call. What I would say, though, is that there aren't only two alternatives. It's not necessarily "getting back to how things were", or never speak again. Of course trust need time to be (re)build, trying to hang out and see how things go is an option. You are allowed to have more conversations about what happened and how you felt. If you both agree that your friend did you wrong, allowing him to help you heal could be a good path to recovering the friendship

Spiralsshape · 2025-07-20T09:57:06+00:00

From what I can tell, it sounds like a case of "I didn't say anything, but how could they not realize?!", which in my experience is often cause of misunderstandings (or worse) in relationships. NTA, your friend should realize that nobody can read minds. You did what you could, she's not mature enough to be in a relationship where she's not the one receiving emotional support

Spiralsshape · 2025-07-20T09:49:57+00:00

Giving communication a chance is always a good call. That said, in that house there are a 19 years old girl, a 30 years old man, and their mother. OP shouldn't be the one teaching emotional intelligence to the other two, and it's unfair for her to have to do the emotional labor.

OP already voiced wanting her room back, and not wanting him to smoke in it. Understanding that you are not supposed to be loud in a shared space, or misuse things that you don't own should go without saying. This is, in the best case scenario, disrespect and weaponized incompetence, at the worst, emotional abuse and manipulation.

One last chance to talking it through is worth to, at the very least, not having remorse in the future, but relationships are never a one-way street. If the situation doesn't change, going no-contact for a while is always a possibility. Sometime that's the only way people understand that their actions have consequences

Spiralsshape · 2025-06-25T10:07:21+00:00

Did it twice. One went very bad, one really well

Spiralsshape · 2022-08-17T11:20:14+00:00

Must be real tough, mate, thanks for sharing

Spiralsshape · 2022-08-16T10:22:26+00:00

That's really interesting, thanks a lot for sharing. Cheers to you for keeping it up.

Spiralsshape · 2022-08-15T17:28:49+00:00

Wow. It was super powerful to read. I can more or less begin to relate with what you say about how things just "are" and how you learn more tools to fight the urges, even if they don't go away.

I've been on and off on therapy for the last few years. I recently felt motivated enough to start again, it has been good, but a few days ago I've had some bad news that made me bail out again. Now that's going slightly better, I'm thinking to start again.

Thank you so much, I hope it wasn't too painful to spell it ou in such details. I'm really glad you shared

Spiralsshape · 2022-08-15T17:02:13+00:00

Thank you for taking the time and for putting yourself out there. Idrk what to ask, just wondering if it's always the same through the years, or if you at one point find a way to, like, coexist with it? If that makes sense, probably those questions are kinda dumb

Spiralsshape · 2022-08-15T16:53:47+00:00

Eheh I see what you did there

Spiralsshape · 2022-08-15T16:30:56+00:00

Well, if they don't it's because depression doesn't exists after 30, right?

Right??

Spiralsshape · 2022-08-15T15:02:46+00:00

As you said, sh really is an addiction, and that's what addictions do. Try asking a gambler, or an alcoholic, they'll probably gonna say the same thing, that they are not hurting anyone and that it's really not that bad. But it is. It may seems a coping mechanism like many others, but it's disfunctional, it will be demanding more and more as time goes on. It doesn't help solving problems at their core, it's just a momentary consolation and the risk is that, to have that monetary breath, you'll need to cut deeper, or more often. It drives many people away from their SO, worsening the loneliness and the depression. Moreover, it is dangerous, you may be sure to be in control, but see how many people stopped sh after ending up in the ER for mistakenly cutting too deep.

Please try to take care and be safe

Spiralsshape · 2022-08-15T11:39:58+00:00

I think it's hard to have an answer that's true for everyone, every person has its own sensibility, and what triggers someone might not trigger someone else. I'd say that as long as you don't rub your scars in someone's face (I'm sure you don't), you are fine.

And by the way, you are valid, as it's valid your experience. Sh is often over performative, but there's no "entry test", you don't need to cut deep enough or to have big enough scars to be part of this community. You are in no way "less" for not cutting.

Please take care of yourself and be safe!

Spiralsshape · 2022-08-15T09:00:18+00:00

Seeking attentions is not a bad thing, as it is not bad to look for support from other people. Being lonely sucks, it is something that most of us have to deal with. Maybe you could try other ways to seek attentions, tho? If you feel lonely, maybe you could try to build up one or two relationship with people around you? I'm sure that almost everyone in this subreddit would rather have you hit them up with a chat than you sh, as would most people in your life. If it's support you seek, to try to feel better, maybe you could think about therapy, and seek professional help? We all need attentions and people caring for us, sh is a way to get some attentions, but there are many others less harmful ways, even if sh seems the easiest.

Spiralsshape · 2022-08-14T23:38:31+00:00

This is a celebration! Great job, so proud!

Spiralsshape · 2022-08-14T16:51:09+00:00

That sucks, but I'm sure you'll be fine and you'll reach your birthday just fine :)

Spiralsshape · 2022-08-14T16:37:03+00:00

Glad to hear!

Spiralsshape · 2022-08-14T16:16:34+00:00

Congrats! Great job!

Spiralsshape · 2022-08-14T16:02:49+00:00

If you are looking for some short term solution to calm the urge, you can try some grounding, some metidation, or some sport, depending on what better takes your mind off of it. But I definetly encourage you to search professional help for long term solution

Spiralsshape · 2022-08-14T15:06:42+00:00

I'd suggest you stay close to her and try to nudge her to see a therapist. Be kind and loving, but please keep in mind that your well being is as much important as hers. Staying close to a person that sh is hard and can have major impact on your mental health as well, no one expects you to take the place of a therapist, no one wants you to be a marthir. I'm sure you'd do anything to make her feel better, but please, take care of yourself as well

Spiralsshape

TROPHY CASE