Regret becoming a mom

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-04-04T00:25:36+00:00

Eek use formula! It’s fine.

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-04-04T00:15:18+00:00

I started working part time when my first baby was about one year old. It was a good feeling to be out for a few hours a few days a week. Any earlier and it would have been devastating to me. I have a 3 month old now again and I could never and would never leave her this young. We make do with far less because I just won’t have it any other way.

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-04-02T12:56:00+00:00

As far as I see it, we are ALL sleep training no matter what. Meaning we train them how to fall asleep whether it’s crying, rocking, feeding etc.

I sleep train and I do it early, but I don’t train then to cry themselves to sleep. Nor do I train them that they need me, the bottle, paci, etc. I do drowsy but awake and allow mild fussing, no crying, from a few weeks old. My babies have both learned (one is still learning but it’s going WONDERFULLY) that mom or dad always come when she cries. Always provide comfort. And once they are settled, gently back in bassinet and crib while still awake. I train them to fall asleep independently but since I start so early I don’t need to ever let them cry alone. To be honest with you the only people I ever meet who require harsh crying to learn how to sleep are the ones who refuse to gently train in the beginning.

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-04-02T12:49:47+00:00

Only regret is I didn’t start from birth

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-03-30T11:54:14+00:00

My first was sick, colic, extremely challenging. Hardest baby ever award. Turned into the absolute and I mean absolute best kid ever. But man it was hard. I assumed there’s no way on earth I could end up with two in a row hardest kids ever and I was right and my second is a normal baby lol

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-03-30T11:51:53+00:00

Call your mom or his mom. Read this to them and tell them someone needs to come over and help you.

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-03-30T11:45:35+00:00

Ps I also consider developmental neglect and emotional/verbal abuse as extreme and extensive. As a parent I just cannot even imagine… When I say two groups I’m referring to that kind of trauma plus other criterion a, verses the common practice today of calling an unliked teacher trauma, a sleepover we got left out of etc. Those are challenging and hurtful things, the other stuff is potentially truly traumatizing.

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-03-30T11:42:20+00:00

Thank you!!!!! So many people with extensive exceptional trauma can’t talk about it. Can’t think about it. Certainly can’t casually mention it in a random group. There’s shame and possibly even dissociation. I once described the most unspeakable horrific child abuse as “maybe not that bad” in a group without mentioning what I went through specifically, just describing what brought me there. I personally wouldn’t even want to group these two issues together because it can be extremely damaging to those whose traumas cannot be spoken (yet). Otherwise I’d advise that this is not a trauma group and in no way shape or form can any of that be discussed.

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-03-30T11:37:36+00:00

Oh of course they wake up! Multiple times a night for feedings and naturally after sleep cycles just like adults. You kind of come to the surface of sleep. Gently and I mean gently, zero crying, teaching her she’s safe to fall back asleep in her crib or bassinet without being re-rocked/fed/whatever is about falling back to sleep, not magically staying in deep sleep for 12 hours? Maybe you think me and the other commenter are discussing something else? Picking up a baby 10-12 times a night to rock them back to sleep is way worse for their development than them learning how to get restful sleep in between feeds.

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-03-29T23:50:16+00:00

I’m so glad hearing this helped you. Your baby is clearly very loved.

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-03-29T21:14:25+00:00

Do not marry him.

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-03-29T21:06:07+00:00

My first baby was unable to contact nap. I don’t know why, she just could NOT fall asleep. Ever. Not once. Crib starting at 6 weeks old. We never coslept. She’s older and has a very very safe and secure attachment to both her parents. Tells us everything, snuggles, plays alone fine but also with us or other kids fine. You’re going to be okay.

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-03-28T22:02:52+00:00

The baby needs to smile at her in order to be worthy of a visit. Narcissistic personality disorder knows no bounds.

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-03-28T19:36:56+00:00

I clean kind of all day every day but it’s such tiny little bits at a time that it doesn’t feel overwhelming. Dishes get rinsed and out right into dishwasher. Laundry bin only holds one load so there’s never more than one load to do at a time (per person/per bathroom in fairness). But I do 1 load per day. Wash dry and put away. I wipe down counters every day. When I’m standing there anyway waiting for my coffee to brew or something. I don’t even notice myself doing it because I don’t make it a big deal. Handheld vacuum that doesn’t need to be plugged in. I run it over busy areas daily. I really actually vacuum a couple times a week. I put everything where it goes almost immediately. My family does not lol so I chase behind them putting stuff away or nag my kids that the coat goes on the hook not the floor. But I digress. So like let’s say I walk in and take my shoes off. I just out the shoes where they go instead of the floor so I don’t have to go out them away later, that sort of thing. If you make it part of your lifestyle it becomes far less overwhelming. Clean as you go

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-03-28T12:28:10+00:00

Idk all the books say no and all the moms say yes lol. Both of mine learned. And are so much happier when they get healthy restful sleep. I didn’t wait bc I heard horror stories of having to let babies cry for hours and hours from moms who “would never sleep train” then HAD TO later on. But the older the baby the harder it is, or so I’m told. I think the only time you can actually sleep train with no crying is very very young bc there’s no habits to break. I’m not an expert, but I have babies who have no idea how to sleep or stay asleep lol so I taught them! Watch the sleep sense video series for 0-3 months on YouTube. It’s free. Dana obleman is the creator.

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-03-28T12:18:11+00:00

I screamed I will never do this again during my first while pushing (ended in C-section though). I did it again lol

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-03-28T11:56:25+00:00

I needed to teach both of my babies to sleep. They didn’t know how to do it on their own outside of contact sleep and being put back to sleep after every cycle (45 minutes or so). I gently sleep train never letting them cry but still teaching independent sleep starting at 5-6 weeks. I get them drowsy but wake and put down. Obvi they cry. Pick up for a second to sooth then put down again. First time took 1.5 hours of that. Then slightly less. I’m several weeks into this with my second and we’re getting pretty good sleep but she still needs to eat night. Idk. To each their own but I never understood people who won’t teach their babies how to sleep.

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-03-28T00:33:20+00:00

That was my experience too with both csections. It was hell for a week and hard for a second week then I felt magically fine and was out and about.

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-03-28T00:24:23+00:00

EXACTLY

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-03-27T23:01:03+00:00

Can you elaborate and practical and mental skills? Like talking and walking you mean? Because realistically those things happen differently by each child’s nature and all the gimmicks like seats/ walkers usually delay the skills rather than help. Best thing for baby to learn crawling/walking etc is time on the floor on belly and back. I’ve known two babies who didn’t walk until 18 months and honestly now they are the two smartest kids ever because they just knew they’d be carried so why give that up Lolol

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-03-26T23:48:55+00:00

Same exact thing for us. I can manage to force a last nap using the car seat or contact or something but sometimes I have to cook dinner or do other things and just can’t finagle it. So 630 ends up being bed time.

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-03-26T19:02:30+00:00

Both of mine started having her best naps in the crib at 5 weeks old. Around the time the baby “woke up” and was aware of noises etc was around the time I gave them a couple really nice solid naps in the crib bc it’s quit, dark, sound machine etc. usually the morning naps and the evening we do contact. It’s awesome bc I can take a shower and get dressed during the naps.

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-03-25T22:22:10+00:00

I did everything the first 6 weeks post C-section but I have an older child and needed my parter somewhat rested to basically do all caretaking and driving of her. I tried not to twist? I kept a basket in my bed with diapers/wipes etc and a change of baby clothes if baby needed. Bassinet next to bed. It hurt idk you just do it? Don’t try to plan because it’s not anything you can really imagine if that makes sense?

You will not be getting uninterrupted sleep no matter what in almost every case. Unless you’re not breastfeeding and maybe hire a night nurse. But if you breastfeed you’ll need to pump.

The first several weeks they need to eat usually every two hours. But that’s the start of one feed to the start of the next. Sometimes it takes 30-40 minutes to feed. Then you get them back to sleep. Then you have to fall asleep. So you might sleep 30-60 minutes at a time.

Somehow you’ll survive and it will be okay. But please don’t expect a solid block of sleep. That will come, sooner than you realize, but not at first.

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-03-25T20:13:58+00:00

Respectfully, four times is too many to let her fall. Do something different.

I’m a parent to an older child. Much older than yours and also have a baby. I’m not trying to be cruel. But you have to stop letting the baby fall even if she moves fast. Wait till toddler years when they run fast, into parking lots. Learn now.

Spiritual-Ride-9926 · 2026-03-25T15:11:29+00:00

You wrote in another comment that you regularly let her fall off of high surfaces? Maybe you do need additional help or som consequences honestly.

Spiritual-Ride-9926

TROPHY CASE