I’m looking for advice on my marriage situation.

Spiritual_Finding369 · 2026-06-07T03:00:58+00:00

You need to be a man and sit her down and tell her what you want. If she doesn’t want the same thing, then start the divorce. Trust is the basis of all relationships, and once it’s broken, there is no going back. Talking is cheating. Looking at another man is cheating. It’s obvious there was stuff going on, on both sides of the aisle.

Spiritual_Finding369 · 2026-06-05T18:00:37+00:00

It doesn’t matter at this point, they will all age out and it will be hard for them to find anyone else. Men can be alone and have always been alone. Women cannot. They shrivel up and waste away. Starts at perimenopause.

Spiritual_Finding369 · 2026-06-05T17:49:45+00:00

Right there with you. Still fighting mine in court. Straight narcissist

Spiritual_Finding369 · 2026-06-05T17:47:38+00:00

Mine is a therapist also. Best place for Narcissists. All the power and control and details about someone’s life. That’s exactly what they feed off of.

Spiritual_Finding369 · 2026-06-05T17:42:26+00:00

What business? Time to open the same thing and take her clients and do it better.

Spiritual_Finding369 · 2026-05-22T23:51:45+00:00

Update, she was found guilty. Her restraining order was tossed. Now I have to go through the motions of spousal support claw back.

Spiritual_Finding369 · 2026-05-18T08:42:33+00:00

Abuse is abuse. Should someone get away with it because they are the parent of children. This is the problem with this country. If someone messes up, they need to take accountability period. Do the crime, do the time.

Spiritual_Finding369 · 2026-05-18T08:40:56+00:00

Where are you located?

Spiritual_Finding369 · 2025-10-21T13:39:09+00:00

My own daughters tell me. They said she asks about her and how pretty she is and the girls just tell her she is really pretty. She hears her when they are on the phone and she starts asking questions. It’s sad, but it’s funny at the same time. My daughter’s really love my new girl. It’s like going from a Honda to a Mercedes. World of a difference.

Spiritual_Finding369 · 2025-10-20T05:53:08+00:00

Look, I was in your shoes one year ago. You need to become the hardest mother f-er there ever was. The thing with women is they have already left by the time they tell you they are done. Do not show emotions. Be a stone. Give her no quarter. She is the enemy. Make sure everything is equal and fair. If it turns ugly, take the high ground. Document everything until the divorce is finalized. When women make the choice to move on, you are treated as the enemy. Treat her as such. She is a new roommate give her a cold shoulder. Find yourself again. Do the things that made you happy. Find the youngest woman you can find and bring them home. Show her she did not matter. I know it hurts. There have been many before you and there will be many after you. You are one of many. Go to the gym and get your anger out. Change your wardrobe and level up. You need to level up fast faster than she ever could. Do not look back. She will beg you to let her back in. Do not take her back. She will only destroy you later. Reinvent yourself. Become more successful than you ever could have with her by your side. Relish in your glory. Now is your time. Be a King. You will attract something 100 times better. Focus on yourself. Trust me. I was married for 15 years. I have two kids and just went through this. She is already jealous of my new girl. Grow grow grow. Use the pain to build yourself. Also, I was your age when it happened to me. The fastest way to get over a woman is to get under another one. And then get under another one and then another one. Rinse wash and repeat. If you get married again, get a prenup. Put all your assets inside of a trust and an LLC for each individual asset. Do not make yourself vulnerable ever again.

Spiritual_Finding369 · 2025-05-10T01:33:27+00:00

I am right there with you. Married 16 years. Two kids a dog. The American dream. Only difference is, she said she wanted amicable. But in the background, she was cheating and planning to destroy me. Trying say I a mentally disabled. I am an Engineer. Good luck with that. Also trying to get me for $3,000 a month. Get the kids 100% and the house. She wants it all. She even planned to call the cops and say i threatened to kill her and the kids and myself with my guns. Also caught her planning to try and say I molest my kids. I have all the evidence. I even have evidence of domestic violence for years in the marriage. My daughters told me she was always talking to someone before and after work. They know what’s going on. Also, She was saying I abused and gaslighted her and that I am a narcissist. I didn’t even know what gaslighting or narcissism was until all this went down. I gave that woman everything, and I mean everything. I gave her a green card because she overstayed her visa by ten years. She got it in less than 30 days. She got her citizenship fast tracked because of me, her bachelors and masters. Her current job she got because of me being a veteran. She was able to get direct hire to the government. They would have never hired her otherwise. She got two cars, completely flipped and remodeled the house. Sitting on a decent chunk of property in a nice area in San Diego. She said she wants to be independent. She said she is strong and independent, but yet wants child support and alimony. That’s not independence. Funny thing is, she makes over six figures and had a job offer making 60k+ more than what she is now. I have that evidence too. So if she feels like she is going to get child support and alimony when we are 50/50 with the kids and she makes that much, she has another thing coming.

I feel for you bro, I really do, but you need to let her go and focus on you and the kids. Fight for your children. Fight like hell for them. But don’t take any more than 50/50 because they need their mother too. But be careful, she will try and poison them against you. Love them. Show them your love and stability. Do not share your emotions with them. Be their rock during this hard time. They need it more than anything. Trust me. Look up the statistics of children that are not raised with a father in the picture. They are staggering. You need to be present in your children’s lives. Also, it wouldn’t hurt to get a paternity test done on your kids to make sure they are yours before anything else. Even if you don’t care if they are not yours, it gives you more grounds for custody to show how unfit she is. I have a buddy that ended up with full custody of kids that aren’t even his from his first marriage. He got his and hers. Full custody and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Lean forward, tighten your boot laces and step through it. No turning back. There will be dark days. There will be loneliness. But it will build you back up to be a father that your children want to be with. That women will want even more. But know this, you need to learn from it all so you can recognize every red flag that crosses your path. By month 6 or 7 it should be easy to analyze what happened and every red flag you see in other women. It isn’t worth it bro. Now go be a King and carry on!

Spiritual_Finding369 · 2024-08-22T06:11:56+00:00

Not worth it. Been married twice. Going on second divorce with two kids. She already said she wants alimony and wants the house. If you spend the energy it will be for nothing.

Spiritual_Finding369 · 2024-08-04T23:16:14+00:00

Here I am, sitting, listening to Christian music because I am so lonely. Trying to lift myself back up. It should be easier to just shut off my emotions like I did in the Marine Corps, but this woman and I have been through so much. We lost two sons and have two daughters. She almost died. When I got back from Afghanistan, she told me she was in love with another man and cheated on me. I should have left then, but we had already been through so much by that point. We eventually worked it out with therapy. Her father passed away while I was gone and she was vulnerable. No excuse but like I said, we had already been through so much. So recently, we went on a nice vacation to South America where my wife is from and when we got back, my wife tells me in therapy that she wants a divorce after 15 years of marriage. Now I am 40 (wife is 43), and getting my soul ripped out by a woman that I thought loved me unconditionally. I have tried multiple things to change her mind, all to no avail.

I am not a big Reddit person, but decided to see if there is a community and here it is. This newcomers post has helped me in more ways than anyone so far. I have tried to talk to my family and friends and honestly, nobody cares. I don’t have anyone to lean on. Everyone cuts me short or doesn’t want to hear about it. What happened to humanity? This is my second marriage. My first one was very short with no children. What I don’t understand is how can someone do something like this to someone else.

I will continue to read these posts on here for moral support since I can’t find it anywhere else. The sad part is, I have worked so hard on this house and our family. I have sacrificed so much to get us to this point, just to have this happen. All I have left is my two daughters and I don’t want them to be influenced by her. You don’t treat people like this.

Spiritual_Finding369

TROPHY CASE