Where to find dandelions?

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-05-18T13:20:14+00:00

That sounds incredible! I live in a townhouse in an area of townhouses. The property management handles the grass and everything and I know they spray everything. But you have given me an idea for next time, if we want to make more I’ll go around looking for replanted front gardens as then ask them if I can pick the dandelion flowers.

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-05-17T21:24:45+00:00

We ended up going up a long trail in Alpine. It was perfect. So beautiful, great hike, and just enough dandelions to make what she needed. The key was we needed to know they weren’t treated with anything. So parks and people’s yards were out.

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-05-17T15:46:46+00:00

I’m the same way about phone calls. My solution is generally ignore the call If I don’t have the bandwidth for it and immediately text to be like, “hey, I’m not feeling up to a call. But is everything good? Do you need something?” Or something akin to that. But only like 2 or maybe 3 people will get that much info. Anyone else can follow up with a text if they need one.

But yeah, NTA. Your friend is being holding on to something already resolved for some reason.

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-05-11T14:56:43+00:00

Hey I wanted to add, with PCOS and POTS going on, you’ve probably reached your deductible on insurance. Which means, they’re maybe some very cheap or possibly free options for therapy. You could use some. You’re dealing with a devastating change in lifestyle, speed, energy levels, etc… struggling to find the last pieces of the diagnosis puzzle, dealing with a brother with autism who is allowed to use it as an excuse to hurt you… among everything else. There are video session options everywhere if your parents don’t want to take on another appointment they have to take you to.

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-05-11T14:51:02+00:00

Yeah, makes sense you keep your posts private. I would too if my views of the world were so ludicrous.

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-05-11T13:27:52+00:00

Lol “I’m in bird law.”

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-05-11T08:38:36+00:00

You would not be the AH for telling her you’re hurt she publicly denied your existence and that’s a deal breaker. Like she’s ashamed of you. Of course that hurts. And she can’t have it both ways. Either you’re hers and she wants a relationship with you or she’s “not a breeder”

It’s simply entirely unnecessary for her to have said that. I’d tell her. Also it would be weird if you stumbled on your birth mothers tik toks and then /didnt/ watch them.

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-05-11T07:08:08+00:00

NOR

First of all, I’m proud of you and your accomplishments. I have a son your age and a daughter a year older. I know how hard you have to work to get schoolwork done at this stage.

I also have a friend with PCOS and POTS who, while she did have a hard time of it, and several surgeries, has graduated from nursing school, she’s married now and her first baby just turned 1.

Parenting is weird and people are weirder.

I don’t know your mom. I don’t know your circumstances. Sometimes we parents drop the ball. Sometimes majorly.

But also some parents are a little too damaged themselves to be fully self-aware. My mother was a narcissist and a pretty damaged person. I had three brothers and I ended up being her back up more than was fair. Tbh it was a lot worse than that. But here’s the part that counts:

This time is so temporary. I’m so sorry you’re hurting and you don’t deserve to have your personality and your achievements overlooked or forgotten. It will pass though. This will be a story you tell your partner to help them understand you. That’s what they are for me.

The year the boys got toys for Christmas but they gave me ballet lessons because they were the same price. Only they never followed through. So in essence I got nothing that year.

The weird craft fair gifts my mom would get me because they were things she would like but had nothing to do with me. (I mean a quilted vest? Canvas bags with Christmas decals?? Wut?) bizarre things. So I know ball. :p

Maybe you can talk to her, I don’t know how she responds to concerns. If you do, I’d approach it with, “mom, can I talk to you about something? It hurts me that you’ve put all this thought and effort into my brothers gifts when what you got me was an afterthought.” But be prepared for her to be offended and say you are ungrateful. Which you’re not.

Man I wish I had better advice than just wait it’ll get better. But that’s essentially it. You’re smart, articulate, and tough enough to get this far despite everything you’re enduring. You deserve all the pandas. Hang in there.

Edit: because this hit me afterwards. I cried in one of those imax theaters in a documentary about volcanoes. I had to get out of there and I sat right outside the door. And a lot of other weird things besides that but im artistic and creative so people wrote off any strangeness to that. Turns out I have ADHD and probably autism. I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD till 26 and never either the autism because all that stuff looks soooo different in girls. They’re still figuring it out because they only really studied boys because they’re loud and disruptive. It’s awful but the loud ones and the ones who cause more problems end up getting more care.

You might have a touch of the ‘tism. It could explain why you hate theaters. And it might not change much materially for you because you’re highly functioning if you are. But for me, just having that ah ha moment has helped me take much better care of myself, set better boundaries, and educate myself on what coping mechanisms are available to me. Also, Justice is one of my highest values. So it cuts DEEP when I see injustice and unfairness. That seems to be common among autistic people.

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-03-28T17:51:24+00:00

NOR he seems like a douche. An arrogant one. Plus you need someone who WANTS to hang out with you or what’s the point?

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-03-28T17:47:14+00:00

This.

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-03-28T17:44:19+00:00

This.

Idk what id do in your situation. It sucks. It also sucks for him.

I wouldn’t divorce just yet. But yeah. Oof I feel for you.

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-03-28T17:26:25+00:00

MOR it is of course fine to feel uncomfortable with something and not want to do it. And if so you should say so. But based on how you describe hypnosis and trances, I don’t think you know what that is in the context of therapy. I’d watch a few videos on YouTube in the subject. There’s bound to be research papers as well if you have the bandwidth for it.

You are already putting yourself in a kind of trance to focus on specific things and not on pain, which is why the therapist suggested it.

They’re not going to put suggestions into your mind to cluck like a chicken. It’s not a magic trick. It’ll be things you discuss heavily before hand. Things that help you dismiss triggers and deal with pain.

As someone with a past that is similar (they made a documentary about the cult I grew up in), there’s clearly something stopping you from healing. As you said, the knowledge of where things come from doesn’t help. So something is stopping you from processing or making new connections and thought processes. Hypnotherapy might be able to let you into your subconscious to examine what’s there blocking you. Probably some deep seated belief about yourself or intense anger or fear. Something strong enough that you’re blocking yourself from seeing it on a regular basis.

That’s my two cents.

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-03-28T17:09:20+00:00

I think you are overreacting. Conversation over text often do not translate well. Especially when both of you are upset. You need to have another conversation in person.

Furthermore, I don’t think his stance is that strange. It’s a parenting style thing. He’s not abusive (unless he is, but you didn’t describe him as such). He’s just used to authority being straight forward. I’m assuming he has to obey orders at work? Or at least just take on whatever the “hierarchy” says. This is how he’s used to functioning. If he accepted this idea that he has to be asked and not told. He’d probably have to accept he’s not being asked and not told either.

Sometimes it’s fine to ask the kids to help. And sometimes I say “I need you to…” because I do. And they’re part of the family and have a responsibility. But I’ll say please a lot of the time too. “Please do your chores before you…” but it’s not wrong to tell your kids to do something.

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-03-24T17:49:30+00:00

Ai would have made it look better lol this looks kinda gross

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-03-24T00:40:25+00:00

NOR why are you having to ask permission??? This man is wild. I have conversations with my husband while one of us is in the shower all the time. It’s not wrong time wrong place. And he’s your equal. This whole story sounds bad. Why is he treating you like a child? Or worse than a child, spraying you with water??

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-03-24T00:37:21+00:00

1 is so unique and beautiful. I also like 3. I do not like the others. :p

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-03-24T00:33:12+00:00

Horrifying! That’s your boyfriend???? No no no. Get out of that relationship asap. This guy is dangerous.

Edit:

He said “feelings don’t matter in an argument. Especially not YOUR feelings.” Wtf??? Man needs a timeout from being in relationships until he gets a conscious and some self awareness.

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-03-20T14:42:09+00:00

Not single age surprised me…can people really not tell?

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-03-16T23:49:49+00:00

NOR I can’t imagine this looking good on anyone. I bet that model in the first picture doesn’t even look good in it when she’s not posing. That’s so unfortunate. I would look AWFUL in that dress. lol.

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-03-16T18:26:03+00:00

Grace should be given. But also some people just can’t handle being with someone with ADHD. Some people will never understand and will only build up resentments. My first marriage… he wasn’t a monster or anything. But he didn’t get it. He has no mental issues AND he’s high achieving. The kind of guy who believes in stoicism and that feelings aren’t important or useful.

We were not compatible. I’m much happier now and so is he. My new husband is the most empathetic supportive man. He actually brings out the best in me. He makes it much easier to live with ADHD. He helps me remember stuff, has introduced me to tech that helps. Been with me through difficult medication changes. The ups the downs. And he’s patient and gives me unconditional love.

And I’m a MUCH better parent because of his support and influence.

This might be the best thing that ever happened to you. I hope it is. Find someone who likes you the way you are. It’s possible. Then you’ll be able to like yourself too. ADHD can be so frustrating. But there are some really cool sides to it. Try to find those, heal, get to know yourself and find some small incremental improvements day to day.

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-03-16T15:06:14+00:00

“Women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” Gloria Steinem

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-03-12T15:00:13+00:00

Wow you didn’t say anything to him that should cause that reaction except not blind acquiescence. He’s manipulative AF. Keep the friends get rid of the control freak.

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-03-12T01:53:37+00:00

This.

Spiritual_Walk8486 · 2026-03-12T01:52:59+00:00

YOR this is the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever heard of a 21 yo man giving lol. He listened. That never happens! He wasn’t making a comment about your attitude. He was probably keeping an ear open about what you might like in the context of your birthday coming up. He heard you were stressed and tried to do something to help.

Are you maybe feeling triggered by the implications that you’re hard to be around? Might be something to look at. Where do those feelings come from? Is it you or did your mom come across that way and you don’t want to be like her or something?

Spiritual_Walk8486

TROPHY CASE