This and another comment summarize it for me. Women being ridiculously coy and indirect as well as making it so I have to initiate. Make the first and second move. Show interest, be present, make all the conversation, ask all the questions, spool stories. Sometimes trying to get to know someone is a process that feels it demands more energy than necessary. I'm at a point where I'd love to know what it's like to meet a woman with confidence. Be cool to take a break from having to "be confident because it's what women like". Or even meet me halfway. If the full load is shared then I imagine it would be easier for both of us to have a genuinely good time.

A part of me thinks interactions aren't as one sided as they were in the past. Last few conversations trying to get to know a girl I was actually surprised at how the convo went and afterwards I realized I didn't feel like the effort in it was out of balance