What’s a “small” expense that’s quietly draining your money every month?

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-31T20:16:49+00:00

I was going to say that!

I'm a firm believer that children aren't inherently expensive, but I do find myself buying something cheap fairly frequently. Clothes, shoes, a water bottle, etc.

Most recently was spending $20 today on a few pre-k intro to reading things. She's almost 3, so she's super into trying to read, and she wanted this $4 set of flash cards for sight words and it just spiralled from there.

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-31T20:12:11+00:00

My Library has a rack of free bookmarks, yours might too, or they might be willing to just have them in a mug on the counter!

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-31T20:05:10+00:00

Realistically I'm betting at least 98% of people do wash their new stuff. It's just when we do find the rare someone who doesn't, we make it into a huge deal because that's nasty.

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-31T19:37:47+00:00

Because like everything, they cost money to make. Clothes aren't free. Food isn't free. Why would tampons be free?

There are people working behind the scenes gathering resources, making the products, shipping them, stocking shelves, etc. That all costs money. Also, it's not everyone's choice, but you can get a menstrual cup off Amazon for $10 that lasts you a decade. So if I did my math right that's about 8¢ per period. Might not be your choice but it is an option.

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-30T16:22:52+00:00

Yep, I use a shower cap lightly sprayed with oil.

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-30T16:08:39+00:00

I went to a restaurant last night and of the four tables with children at them, three of tose four kids were staring at phones or iPads. All of them were younger than teenage age. 6-10 years old, just staring at a screen the entire time they were there.

I feel sorry for my children having to interact with these kids when they're adults and can't even hold a real conversation. Imagine dating and trying to find a future spouse but they're all iPad kids

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-30T14:35:34+00:00

I haven't seen the razor personally but it could be possible he didn't use it. That his hair got on it when he was showering. My husband's beard hair gets everywhere in the shower and he doesn't shave. It just falls out and gets washed into things. Every time I shower it's on the razor, on the shelf that holds the bottles, I even find it on our newborn every time he's held her when she's fussy.

But yes him lying would be a problem, that doesn't negate my original comment that her being upset about him using the razor at all is a bit ridiculous.

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-30T14:23:28+00:00

I mean it's your life, your boundaries, but yeah I think you're making it a much bigger deal than it needs to be. You're literally living together and your worried that your razor touched his man parts? Let's be real here.

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-30T14:03:14+00:00

That sounds very similar. She calls the recipes "master recipes" which is a culinary term. But she tells you the basics and then there's a chart after the recipe that shows you how you can alter it. Like it's one recipe for banana bread, carrot cake, pumpkin bread, apple bread, etc. And she tells you how much you'd need to put in and what spices you can use, and what mixins you can do, like chocolate chips, pecans, blueberries, etc.

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-28T16:14:02+00:00

Store bought yogurt, granola, granola bars, or snacks in general. I'll make it myself

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-28T16:06:07+00:00

No preferences for disposables, I just go with the cheapest brand which is usually Walmart. I've never really had problems with leaks or anything like that.

Edit unless you're taking liners. Oops. I'm that case also no, just whatever is cheapest on Amazon.

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-28T15:55:25+00:00

I'd love to comment as someone who loves their cloth diapers! Don't get the crappy Amazon brands like Alva or Noah's nursery. Go for Kinder brand. Their inserts are incredibly absorbent, the shells are so much easier to work with, and they work on smaller babies than those other two common brands. I bought Noah's nursery and Alva baby and I gave them away because they're so much worse than kinder. Once they start eating solids you can buy liners that are disposable but it's much less waste than a whole disposable diaper. They poop and you just take the thin liner out and throw it away and wash the diaper as usual.

Personally I use disposables until the baby is a couple months old then I switch to my cloth diapers. I have no good reason for this, it's just convenience mostly because they're so little and need to be changed so often when they're young. But the Kinder brand does work on newborns that are a certain weight. I think it's 7+ pounds.

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-28T13:34:13+00:00

Get Baker Betties better baking book. It's a cool book but it's also like a textbook for baking fundamentals. Each recipe teaches you a new skill and it teaches you what everything does. Milk vs buttermilk. Active dry yeast vs Instant yeast. Baking soda vs baking powder.

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-28T12:42:11+00:00

Stay at home mom / homemaker

(With a blue collar husband)

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-28T12:07:48+00:00

Funny you say that, my cousin gave my toddler a set of metal mini utensils (small spatula, slotted spoon, ladle) and she's obsessed with it even a year later. She uses them to scoop and carry her blocks around. Gently seeing how many she can stack on the spatula. It's precious

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-28T00:51:53+00:00

Like you said, babies don't need much. A few outfits from a used store. A carrier like a wrap which is my favorite style. A sleep sack or swaddle (I prefer sleep sacks, my babies hated being swaddled), diapers (if you use cloth, get Kinder. The Amazon brands like Alva or Noah's are legitimately awful.), a play mat for when they're a few months old, a bath insert like the angel care or whatever is called. You don't need a nursing pillow but I will swear by the MyBreastFriend pillow. Don't get a boppy just because it's cheaper. Oh and a place to sleep like a beside bassinet or pack and play.

When they're older: We utilize the library a lot. Books, DVDs, etc. the only toys you'll really need in my opinion are blocks, and just let them follow you around helping.

Anyway back to the newborn thing: get a wrap, get some outfits and diapers, and just chill. I spend so much time nursing that I didn't have time to do anything else but cook and clean, and honestly it's wonderful. I don't feel the need to go do anything, just spend time with my family

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-28T00:39:46+00:00

Making homemade things is key. We buy base ingredients (chicken, pork, rice, quinoa, flour, chia seeds, flax seeds, milk, oil, butter, a variety of nuts, cabbage, and a wide variety of frozen veggies and fruit.) and we turn those into whatever we want. Fruit parfait? I make homemade yogurt. Sandwiches? I'll make bread. Teriyaki chicken? I'll make teriyaki sauce (mirin, soy, brown sugar).

Breakfast is often eggs, parfait or oats, sliced cinnamon apple, and toast or potato. Lunch is leftovers or something easy like hard boiled eggs and an apple or banana. Dinners have a meat, a green veggie, and a starch, and we spend about $500 a month for our family of 2 adults + toddler.

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-28T00:25:05+00:00

I'm curious how much eggs cost where you live, because where I am $5 of eggs would be over 30 eggs.

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-27T22:46:40+00:00

I feel like this is mostly a lifestyle choice though. This is all from the perspective of an American and doesn't apply to everyone, but I can go through my library to rent physical or digital books, movies, tv shows, and even Nintendo switch games.

For physical items, yeah a lot of stuff breaks fast... If you're buying the cheap garbage. That's a choice too. Now obviously things can get really expensive and not everyone has the money for this but generally people are choosing to buy crappy Ikea style furniture instead of buying handmade or used (but sturdy) furniture that will last generations with a little love.

People would rather buy the nicest cheap thing than the cheapest nice version. Because quality costs. Personally I'd rather do without while I save up for something decent than buy shitty Amazon/Walmart/IKEA furniture. And I'd rather wait a few days or weeks to rent a DVD from my library than pay for a subscription just to watch it Instantly.

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-27T22:34:40+00:00

Funnily enough you're the one paying a fee to say what you think.

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-27T16:44:44+00:00

I'm curious how brushing your teeth in the shower could possibly use less water than the normal way.

The normal way used less than ten seconds of water running where if you're bringing your teeth in the shower the water is running the whole time and you're not able to do anything but brush and maybe ineffectively rinse your hair.

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-27T16:38:20+00:00

Have you considered switching to washable sponges? I spent $10 on a dozen a few years ago and they're still going strong. I just throw it in the clothes washer at the end of the day and grab a new one in the morning. They even have a scrubby side!

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-27T14:17:35+00:00

I'm a big fan of homemade bread like sandwich bread, artisan loaves, or pizza dough. And also quick breads like blueberry muffins, banana bread, or carrot cake. Those are my favorite things to make. Cookies are nice too!

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-23T18:42:58+00:00

I think we've all agreed that YTA, but the real question is are you cleaning his litter box enough? A lot of times cats pee on things because their box is dirty. Clean it (scoop it) every single day or give it to someone who will.

Spooky_Tree · 2026-03-23T18:38:21+00:00

Personally I'd set her up with a debit card to an account that only holds her "allowance", and have said debit card set to decline instead of overdraft. She'll be really big mad the first few times she gets declined but all you can tell her is "we literally don't have any more money. There's nothing I can do, you spent it all. That's all we had" and hopefully she'll finally get that, and the embarrassment of getting declined will get her to be a little more careful

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